male-exclusive parenting support networks and structures

Aerianne
Wiki said:

The primary cause of the adoption of unisex bathrooms in the US is the increasing existence of elderly couples, one of whom requires the other's assistance because of mobility issues. However, transgender advocacy groups in the United States have taken up the cause of unisex bathrooms, as they see unisex bathrooms as a solution to eliminate harassment and other inconveniences for transsexuals experienced when using conventional bathrooms.

 

David54

I guess you can't expect complete parity when it is the female that tends to be the 'primary care-giver'. I think, though I have nothing to base it on, that America likes to over complicate almost everything.

 

It's too much to ask for a changing table to be available so that I don't have to place my son on the bathroom floor? The same floor that people walk on after using their shoes to lift the disgusting seat. I refuse to accept that.

 

Well, there you go. Thanks for looking that up.

Transgendered people do need a place for privacy without harassment.

I'll tell you who I saw using the "Family" restroom when I was picking up an order at Walmart...the employees...they used it like their private restroom...just one employee at a time going in and having use of it.

 

Perhaps it's too much to ask for everywhere to provide a changing table in the male toilets - given you might be it's one and only user.
It wasn't that long ago that a lot of men where proud they hadn't a clue how to change a nappy.
In the bigger stores and government buildings (including hospitals etc) it shouldn't be too much to ask for, no.

 

Aerianne

I think we shove our old people in old peoples homes, so it isn't such an issue here.

Transgendered people do need a place for privacy without harassment, I agree.
I suppose there are a lot of people to try and keep happy, and only a certain amount of space to do it in.

I have to say, I've been known to use the disabled toilet because of the space and the privacy.

 

So which comes first, the chicken or the egg? Perhaps more fathers would be caring for their children if discriminatory barriers weren't being placed in front of us at every turn.

At any rate, lack of physical infrastructure is a persistent problem that fathers face. It's kind of like being left handed. Things are just not designed with you in mind.

 

David54

Oh, the hens definitely came first. I do think males should take some responsibility for their attitudes towards parenting. It's probably only in the last 10-20 years where a man is prepared to do the majority of the duties the women has to generally take care of.

 

With the unemployment problem there are more stay-at-home-fathers than ever before, I'd think.

At least that's what I'm seeing among the people I know and what I see in my community.

 

Aerianne

I imagine there is something in that.

Here:

The new life and times of stay-at-home dads
The number of fathers looking after children at home is rising. How are they coping with the change in traditional roles?
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/mo...-new-life-and-times-of-stay-at-home-dads.html
Office of National Statistics (ONS) figures show that 10% of the parents who stay at home to look after their children are fathers – a record high.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jan/25/stay-at-home-fathers

 

Thanks, Odon. I'll have a look later today.

It's after 3 a.m. here.

 

Good morning

The second one is better...

 

Before I go to bed, I was thinking about what David54 said about having to change his baby's diaper on the cold tile floor of the bathroom.

Please don't resort to that - anyone.

I've been changing diapers for 45 years and I've never laid a baby on the floor of a public restroom.

There are alternatives. Take a seat on the toilet and change the baby in your lap; sit on the floor and change the baby in your lap; change it standing up holding the baby against your chest; change it in the bottom of a shopping cart; in a restaurant booth; go to the manager's office and ask to use their desk or chair since no changing facility is provided.

I've done all of these. Don't change a baby's diaper by putting them on the filthy tile floor of a public bathroom.

 

I have a feeling David54 wouldn't do that. It was just added for dramatic effect.

 

WOW... LLL, Mother/Toddler yoga...Really
As a single father of a past infant (10 now) your right about differences in support for women vs men but I don't think bitching about not being excepted in to La Leche League
is the biggest issue facing single dads of infants besides that's just creepy and as far as men can or can not lactate again I say WOW!!
Bottom line there is plenty of support if one really wants it. but if this is about wanting to be part of organizations that are solely catering to women just because your trying to prove a point or get back at female groups that have made there way into traditionally male organizations/activities well then this really isn't about infant health and well being is it?

 

Looks like we're on to the discrimination of changing tables not being available in public restrooms or wash closets/loo (for odenII sake)

Look we have issues but again the ones described in this thread have been trivial but then again,it was originally posted by a primary caregiver who isn't single but does have support from a spouse so I guess moaning about changing tables baby yoga and breast milk clubs are of dire importance.
Now if you want the view of a SINGLE dad who has always found support groups and help for the last 10 years from other single dads WE can defiantly say our issues are far more important then changing tables and milk clubs.

btw little dramatic with the whole changing a baby on the floor bit ....really! Not one of my single dad friends or myself have ever stooped to that level (pun intended) old girl is right put the kid on your lap!

To be fare, I don't live in a small town but then again does anyone in this internet age? I you want changing tables petitions the principalities that be for one if you want breast milk buy it,(men don't lactate milk) you want to be excepted at your local support group and your the only man with a kid in town then ask the ladies if you can join, again that whole le leche club thing is still creepy to me but whatever to each his own but if they don't want to play with you well have some understanding they let you in then every pervert who wants to cop a free look at a breast will want in.
Now here is a list of what issues our group seems to have the most problems with in no particular order:
1. men raising little girls
2. day care
3. money
4. dating with kids
5. Sleep
6. discipline
5. SEX
6. time off (like that happens)
Just to name a few areas of our consern

oh I do remember one time I needed to change my kid at a place that didn't have a changing table and for some reason the rest room had been occupied I had asked the manager if I could use the employees bathroom and she gave me attitude so I plop my son right down on the counter and did my business then handed the diaper to the manager on the way out guess what they got a changing table.

I guess it boils down to if you have a problem what are you going to do about it.

 

That put things in perspective.

 

I just brought up the changing table issue to my partner and he said he's never had a problem, that it's pretty standard to put changing tables in both restrooms in most stores these days.

 

I looked back through David54's posts, like he suggested. He's been complaining about lack of male support groups since 2005.

 

First bold is my point. Second bold is a straw man argument, as is the fourth. Read my posts more carefully.

Third bold is accurate. I am trying to prove a point. It was not my initial intention. I had hoped to simply be able to discuss a point with sympathetic ears. But it appears that I have to prove it first.