So, a girl that I am love with is coming down to live with my wife and I. She is totally into both of us, and my wife is into her as well. I just need to know what to expect. We all love sex, so that department is good. But the thing is, this girl wants to cook for me and my wife wants to clean for me. Leaving me with well, working I suppose. But I smell confrontation around this department in the future. I dont want to feel useless in the house. I mean bringing in money is important, but so is helping out. Also, can we talk about drama?! I dont know, I mean this IS my ultimate fantasy, but Im just hoping that I can handle two periods a month! Guess its a good thing I smoke. But seriously, I am asking women, WTH do I do when I am overwhelmed with two women, do I ignore them? Do I speak the truth as I always have? I want things to work out, seriously, I do. And I Dont want to screw things up by doing the wrong thing. My wife and I have been together for 11 years, and I want it to stay that way, with both her and this girl moving in. Thanks.
Speak the truth as you always have done. But on this issue cross this bridge if and when you get there. Let the girls show their appreciation for you. Just remember to treat them right and never take what they do for granted.
Be candid, and calm, and transparent. When they begin drama and you begin to feel overwhelmed, insert statements such as "need I be in the loop on this one", or "you two need my assistance", or "I'm stepping out", or some kind of similar statement. It will display that you are aware, and observant, and caring but objective, wise but not wanting to engage the "trivial" stuff.
Thank you for the replies. As you probably have already guessed, this entire situation is extremely complicated. But, I have managed to stay strong during the ordeal, and I have always pushed honesty between the three of us. I guess I will have to play my cards at the right time on this one. But of course, I will always appreciate everything they do for me.
How the women get along in a relationship like this will likely determine the course of it. I've got a fair amount of experience--I spent most of 2012 living as the "husband" in a "sisterwife" arrangement. Not a traditional triad, like it sounds like you're involved in, so there are some differences. Openness, honesty, communication are the most important things. Give me a yell in PMs if you want any in-depth advice. And congratulations--I think it's one of the most natural and beautiful kind of domestic arrangements you can experience, and when it worked for us, we were all happier than we had ever been.
I recommend reading this: http://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1364014730&sr=1-1&keywords=the+ethical+sult"]http://www.amazon.com/Ethical-Slut-Practical-Relationships-Adventures/dp/1587613379/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1364014730&sr=1-1&keywords=the+ethical+sult
Wow good luck with this. I personally would NEVER share my man so this arrangement would never work for me. If the new girl wants to cook and your wife clean, carve out things you will do. The chores I like my man to do are take out the garbage, the recyling, do snow removal, car maintenance, home repairs, help run errands (post office, bank, pick up milk on way home) and such. I think you could speak up and handle these things without being constantly reminded and that would be appreciated with you showing a contribution. You could also offer to help or even do the laundry. That way you are like a family kind of with all of you chipping into help out. Unless neither of these ladies will be working outside of the home. If that is the case maybe not the laundry but helping with errands and the rest I mentioned is still good. In my female mind the things a man does to help out without being reminded are like foreplay outside the bedroom and get my man a lot of sexual attention and other affection and attention. In regard to periods, within 2 months or so their periods will most likely synchonize so they will get their periods the same week or within a week of each other so you will deal with the periods one block of time a month. I would say you better be extra understanding, sweet and helpful during this time of month to avoid being maimed or killed. With yoru concern about being overwhelmed, I would continue to be honest and speak your mind as you always have. Honesty and communication is so critical. Good luck to you. I don't know if it will work out but as an open minded hippy type woman if this is what you want than I want it for you. I hope it is what you have dreamed and it brings you happiness:love:
Even in roommate situations, I encountered territory issues in the living space. Usually the first person in the place claimed something as their domain, a room, the kitchen, patio/deck whatever. Similar to adding step parents! Your wife, by being there first, will have to release holds and expectations. Give her the time and space to do that, and nurture their relationship. Triads aren't two servants to one alpha. It's three relationships! Work at them all.
And for the love of all that is sacred, tell your girlfriend not to dare organize the freaking spice cabinet in the kitchen...that kind of stuff can start WWIII.
You want you and your wife to stay together for 11 years? Flying really really fast around the earth slows down time
