I'm new here and i joined because i am fascinated with the idea of sexuality... and our perception of our own sexuality and experiences... since finding my soulmate in a woman and falling deeply in love with her (previously i considered myself heterosexual) I have been questioning my sexuality, even dating back to my school days, when i believe i may have had crushes on a few women, i have thought recently that i must have been lesbian all along... but I'm still confused because i do find men attractive, and have maintained a few serious relationships previously... so now i have decided, for myself, to abolish this idea of a label (if i must, then i call it bisexual) i believe that "labeling" is a negative and confusing for a lot of people, in particular teens who are trying to understand themselves and fit in with everyone else at school and with friends, and parental expectations... I'm in my mid 20s now and since being in this relationship i feel like i have opened myself to the beauty that can be found in anyone, not depending on their gender at all... and i think it is perfectly possible for any person of any sexual orientation to be attracted to any other person, not depending on their sex or gender. I think once we give it a label, than we automatically close ourselves to possibilities of new and wonderful relationships... and also, in my own case, have ignored years of harmless crushes that i chose to ignore because i didn't want to be different. I believe also, that it is wrong to become attached to the physical sensations that we desire through sexual contact, because a connection on a more spiritual level creates something far more beautiful than sex can manage on its own, and a deeper more emotional level of understanding is more stimulating for the soul as well as the body... what i am trying to say here is that, from personal experience sex is more satisfying (and i believe, healthier) with someone you love and have that connection with than with someone you don't. And this shouldn't be compared between genders... In todays society i think we are too "Sex" driven that we link our desires to our sexual orientation, rather than looking for a special someone... we search for a partner that shares our sexual preference and physical appetite, rather than pursuing our dreams. And i believe this is where the real essence of a person can ignite and attract like-minded persons, when we are discovering our passions... and following our intuition. What do other people think? I'm curious to hear other peoples ideas an opinions on the subject...
The human being is a complex organism. We have virtually no instinctive behaviors as a species, therefore our every action is unique to ourselves. I have always considered labels rather limiting. Are you gay, lesbian, stone lesbian, bi? femme, str8?????????? etc etc. The list is almost endless. Frankly I'm me. If one day I want to shag a good-looking guy, so be it. If one day I want to bed a fat, ugly homosexual dwarf, or a tall, hairy woman, so be it. I'm me. I just live the way I live, and so far, it's been remarkably successful. BTW Yellowboot. Your post just oozed your affection for your soulmate. Keep happy.
No instinctive behaviors? =\ Babies pretty much instinctively go for the nipple before they're eyes are really open. And once we learn things we instinctively act upon them. Like driving. In split second thoughts we instinctive do things whether right or wrong.
Thank you for sharing your insight into how you view sexuality. I could not have worded it better myself.
No disrespect to anyone (really!) but we are mammals, which means, we are animals just like all the other mammals. As such we are driven by instinct. In essence, we want to live, we want to procreate The strongest instinct is to eat the second is to have sex, sorry , but I forget the others!- but you get the idea. What I DO find odd is how we end up with our sexuality. I mean, none of sat down one wet afternoon and thought, hum...what kind of sexual person do I want to be? We never went ; err how about hetro? yes, it's got its points - a bit boring but, less aggro. Or, maybe gay? Yes...that's a nice thought too, very nice...! Bi? well, it's the best of both worlds and yet...I mean if you go with one lot will the others take you seriously? And staying with other Bi's, well, narrows the field.. No, we are driven by instinct, and we never select our sexuality we just become aware of it - and spend our lives living with it - or fighting against it ; and experience the joys and the miseries that all that brings. As a new member, I just hope that our collective respect and empathy as to who we are, brings each one of us strength to put up with - well, the unpleasantness we all sometimes encounter. (oops! sorry for going on! bad habit of mine!)
... i really want to type something out right now, but my brain is not functioning correctly... so i won't embarrass myself in terms of debate... my watered down post however:: i do not like labels for they are a form of stereotyping someone. I find love is love (apparently it is different for males since they know exactly which gender they want with the exception for bi ones... straight will not go for gays ever). I believe that sexuality is a concept derived from society in terms of stereotype. we are humans and we like fitting people into these boxes (ie race, social economic status, sexuality) it makes it easier for ourselves to generalize others. If i fall in love with someone, it is because of their heart and personality and all the other fun stuff. their gender is just what they happen to be on the outside. what i love is the inside. lately all that i've been attracted to are older women thus i can identify with lesbianism easier than straight since within that sexual category are other females looking for females. if i happen to one day be attracted to males, then i can identify with being straight easier. if i am attracted to both, then apparently i am bi. they are just social constructs meant for labeling and stereotyping... god i feel like i just repeated myself several times over... right now, If i love you, i love you for you, not because you are a woman/man. You just happen to be a woman/man. (choose which ever gender you prefer) That is my viewpoint and stance... as for the human have virtually no instincts... i won't touch upon that since my point has been pointed out several posts above...
