How do I get my girlfriend to orgasm through oral sex?

I really want to make my girlfriend orgasm. She is 22. She has never orgasmed before, neither by herself or with someone else. She is a virgin but I have gone down on her many times and we even have recently started using a vibrator. Each time, she enjoys it and then after a while and increasing tension, she freaks out, her body starts to shake uncontrolably, she usually moans and breathes heavily but she doesn't feel pleasure, all she feels is a very intense but overwhelming sensation (she usually signals me to stop) which often ends with a big headache.

What should I do to make her reach orgasm?

 

Tell her to relax. It IS very intense, and the sensation is overwhelming. But whatever "discomfort" there may be can be eased if she loosens all her muscles. When we build up, it's very easy for our whole body to get tense. You have to talk her back down.

 

Thanks for your answer, we have talked about it with her, but she doesn't really know how to relax when I'm going down on her. She really seems to enjoy it and when I'm going down on her she progressively asks me for more pressure against her clitoris (same thing with the vibrator). But then after a certain point, her entire body shakes uncontrollably as I said but she doesn't find it pleasurable anymore. Also, she expects a release from all of that tension but that doesn't happen. Is her body still having an orgasm? and how do I get her relaxed? should I not give her more pressure against her clitoris when she asks me to?

 

Sometimes the foreplay needs foreplay oral sex can be as intense as normal intercourse . . . why don't you start with a nice dinner, then bring her home and give her a massage, with hot oil, candles, romantic music (something she likes). Move so slowly with her that the orgasm inside of her is trying to punch it's way out

And yes, when she says "harder", maybe the first few times, just stop. Tease her. Make her really want it. Go really slow. Be prepared to do this whole sequence several times, dozens of times. It definitely sounds like she has some relaxation issues to work through. Sometimes what's wrong in the bedroom is not in the bedroom. Talk with her.

 

It's possible she's giving yourself the male equivalent of "blue balls" because of a mental/emotional block.

It seems she has the physical response of what could be very very pleasurable sexual sensations for her, but it sounds like she psychologically thinks it's bad or something.

Might I ask how she was raised with sexual topics and issues? If you don't know ask her, how did her parents raise her when it came to that stuff?

 

She was raised pretty conservatively about it, and she sometimes feels like it's taboo to think about sex. During oral sex, she often gets distracted and worried whenever she hears people. What do you think we should do about this?

 

earplugs?

 

Consider the problem diagnosised. It's a mental block because of the guilt.

This probably won't work for you but if it's the conservative Christian indoctrination she was raised with about sex, point out the song of songs.


Might I ask you a question? Is she marriage material for you? If she is you could argue married couples have an almost blank check as to what they can do in the bedroom (barring threesomes and infidelity).

But my most pragmatic advice is to give her a full body massage. Take a leaf out of watching what the bad boys do when they get conservative chicks to drop their panties dial up the attraction and anticipation.

Eating aphrodisiacs might help too.

 

Going to a sex therapist might help but she's probably too shy and embarrassed.

 

Reading body language is probably the most important tool.

I once had a g/f who had broken up from her abusive husband. Despite her having 4 kids of her own, she had never experienced an orgasm, as her husband just treated her as a conduit for his own sexual satisfaction, and due to her having a strict Catholic upbringing had never masturbated either, believing it to be a sin. However, the first time we had sex was not sa much a success as it could have been. The condom I was wearing broke & I had to withdraw mid-stream & finish off by hand. Then, rather than leaving her in sexual suspense, I masturbated her to the point of orgasm - her first ever. She remained on so much a high that her 15 year old daughter (eldest of the 4) had pretty much guessed what we had been up to when she commented that she was on so much on a high that it looked as if she was on speed.

 

Yes she is marriage material for me, but the thing is even though she was raised conservatively, she is totally willing to try new things, and she is not religious. She jut doesn't know how to relax and she doesn't know what an orgasm is supposed to feel like.

 

Get Big Jim Slade. That is all you need.

 

For those of you who don't get the reference:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tINTtHWsxg

C/S,
Rev J