Have I fucked up? Again?

I noticed that too but I guess girls think it's okay to reject the kiss and then expect the guy to text them first too?


like what? Any female want to try and explain the reasoning behind this?

Do y'all really think we just stand around to get your [half-requited] attention?

Do you think there is some 'gene' in a man that says "text-girl. ask girl for sex. --- fail? try again."

Communication is a two-way thing, ladies. Sadly wish a lot of y'all realized this.

 

She kind of did though. The whole time she wrote about how comfortable she wasn't, and wanted to leave soon afterwards.

But she thinks it's okay to be cold and unresponsive, and somehow, (God someone please explain this gap in thought to me), she believed the guy was going to keep hollaring at her and being the first one to pick up the phone.

 

I'm a confusing bitch. I get it.

More opinions and advice please.

 

Strong post. Thank you for your input, it's given me a lot to think about.

 

Um, if I had been dating a girl, and we finally had sex, and I went to cuddle her, and she was all "get away, i don't cuddle", i'd be pretty put off, to say the least. You are either cold, are looking at the relationship differently from me, or don't like me. He went to CUDDLE with you, and you turned him down. What do you think that says? How would you feel if a guy did that to you? He was looking to get emotionally intimate with you, which sounds like it hasn't happened yet since you guys "havent had any great conversations" in all this dating. But you sure were ok to fuck him?

Honestly the facts plus the way you communicate the facts sounds like you have a lot of baggage concering intimacy and opening up to a man. I do applaude you for being open, honest, and taking the responses in stride in this thread. Despite what may come off as judgements, speaking for myself, this post is in the intention to help you out.

 

That's not how she explained it from what I read. She didn't say she turned him down, she just said she didn't need to be cuddled, as if to say "you don't have to do that if you don't want to... it's not something I expect after sex." My understanding is that cuddling did take place, despite her not really being that into it.

Plus they were in bed all day, had more sex. Then got up, and got dressed to leave. I wouldn't want a girl all over me as I'm getting dressed to leave either. The sex has got to end some time. People have to get back to work and life.

Now perhaps I'm reading into it all wrong and her actions were more like you described. But that wasn't how I saw it. Perhaps she can clarify the situation.

 

You are also not being yourself - you said you read a man likes to distance himself after he has had sex, so that's what you did..... I have never been with a man who distances himself afterwards.

What you should have done is do what you wanted, rather than "try" to act like you think you should because of something you have read. The same with the "third night" thing - where has that come from? You are suggesting in your mind that all third dates mean sex.

What you should do is ditch all pre conceived ideas and be yourself. There are no written laws, no right and wrongs, no way to act - work on being you.

 

think about what YOU want, make Your intentions clear, explain to him why you're shy. If you want somthing to come of this make it work and dont just react. waiting on him isnt conducive to any sort of relation your trying to make. not texting is awkward, and will be wierder the longer you wait, you've already had sex so.. i mean... whats wrong with a "hello" or a "hey lets go get coffee!!!" or maybe before you pursue a relationship, learn to love yourself more, and if loving yourself isnt the problem then believing in yourself might be. worst case scenario, it was a fling/ he was a jerk ect and you move on, establish yourself, and find someone suited to you (if you care to look)
:daisy:

 

You are so right, thanks for the advice. I think I'm just worried that being myself may put him off. But eh...

We did cuddle, even though I said I didn't want it. I mean, it was nice but he didn't have to, this is what I'm saying.

I totally get what you're saying... I didn't turn him down as such, just told him he didn't have to do that stuff as I assumed he was only doing it to make me feel better about the situation. You are so right about the having sex without proper communication coming first, I should have waited because I clearly wasn't ready for it. I defo have problems with letting myself fully go with a man because of things that have previously happened with men. I have not had many good experiences let's say. I don't trust them, don't really trust him. Shouldn't have done what I did because now I'm stressing over every little detail. Thanks for your response! Very good feedback.

Sweet, honest and very helpful reply. You're right in every way... Ahh you've got your head more screwed on than me and we're near enough the same age! Thank you.

 

But not being yourself has created a whole lot of stress and worry (for both) where there need not have been any.

I know you are young and it takes time, but from experience I can tell you the best kind of relationship is one where honest communication plays a big part. To have that, you have to be honest with yourself and be yourself in the first place

 

Update!

Thanks for your responses but it was all a farce just as I suspected. He wasn't into me in the slightest, he wasn't even that into sleeping with me. I was just some chick to pass the time. Men are shits.

That is all.

 

No, you just gave in to the wrong guy for what you were looking for. Don't blame all men for your poor choice selections.

 

Not all men are shits. You have to taste a few sour grapes that may leave an after taste before finding the perfect wine that you love and is right for you. It is the same for men. Next time try to be yourself and ditch all the pre conceived ideas and let thins progress naturally - true love is when a man loves you for who you are, warts and all (and visa versa.)