Sex drives don't match up with partner

I want sex more often than my husband. I love him and will not cheat. I need help coping I don't like the resentment I'm starting to feel towards him. He is great and when we do have sex I am able to orgasm multiple times. He wants sex only once a month and I want it once a day but could settle for once a week. I've tried talking to him. Sometimes I wish I could decrease my sex drive to match his.

 

I don't have any advice other than talking to him and trying to figure out what's up and what to do.

 

We talked last year and he agreed to see a doctor. We found out he had low testosterone. He took meds and got his levels to be almost triple what the average is for his age. Unfortunately it had no affect on his libido. It's more like that's the way he is and this is the way I am. I was always initiating sex when we were dating but didn't think much of it because he never turned me down. I just thought he was polite and didn't want to be pushy at the time.

 

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I hope (and suspect) that's BS, since testosterone levels that high would cause his nuts to shrink and a variety of other problems.

 

how long have you been married?

and are you certain he isn't cheating on you? for a man to only want sex once a month seems really, really odd.

my wife is out of her mind horny about once a month. If I never initiated sex we probably wouldn't have sex much more than that but she can be persuaded a few times a week and sometimes she'll agree to have sex because she knows I want to.

you need to talk to him and let him know about your feelings. don't expect it to sink in the 1st time, maybe not even the 10th time but keep talking to him.

the other thing is try to seduce him. don't just ask "do you want to fuck me?" but do things like wear lingerie, grab his cock in bed, etc.

if he loves you he'll work at a happy compromise.

 

I'd also question if he were cheating, or even had a porn/masturbation addiction that you don't know about. If all medical reasons have been ruled out, then it seems something is not right.

 

I'd caution everyone about assuming that testosterone levels or other, unspecified "medical conditions" alone are the only issues that lead to reduced sex drive. Some people (regardless of gender) just have a lower sex drive than others do. It doesn't necessarily mean that "something's wrong."

 

True. I was blessed (or cursed?) with a sex drive that is probably abnormally high. Thinking personally, I would think something was 'wrong' with me if I didn't want to have sex very often, but true, that doesn't go for everyone.

 

nah, if there weren't a ton of men who don't like sex, no married women would be on this forum. as it is, we get the "my husband hates sex" threads pretty much weekly.

 

I don't get it. Even at age 50 I wake up with a steel pipe hard on every morning and want to slip it in my wife, every day. alot of the time I don't but only because I know she needs some sleep.

 

I envy your husband. With me, it was the other way around. After a few years, I just figured that's the way it's going to be and began to be more involved in work to keep my mind off of it. I stopped bugging her about it. Then, I got accused of playing around on her and it ended in divorce.

I was the one that wanted it every day and she only wanted it a couple of times a year. But, I didn't resent her. I simply worked overtime on tennis elbow.

 

Spoken like a true medical expert

 

Spoken like a true troll.

 

We have been married 5 1/2 years. We ruled out a medical condition and I know he isn't cheating. Could it be stress? This started when we had our kids. They are only 17 months apart. I know other couples have kids and still manage to have more frequent sex though. I have been trying to seduce him and nothing worked until this month. I got so frustrated I just went ahead by myself and masturbated while laying next to him in bed. He seemed to enjoy that because he woke up and we had sex. Maybe I'm the problem and my drive is so high he just feels he can't keep up and that makes it worse?

 

What is your deal? If you don't like me don't read my posts. First you say I'm guy because I proclaimed I love sucking my husbands cock in a forum titled "kinky sex" wtf. You must be getting less than me based on your need to argue with whatever I post. The only reason I'm on this damn forum is I don't have any friends who relate and now I get the same bs here too.

 

I never said any such thing. I happened to post something after one of your posts wherein I made a statement about there being a lot of "female" posters here that are actually guys. The fact that you assumed I was referring to you is perhaps telling, however. In a later reply to you, I said something about "dude," which is a euphemism I use with everyone I talk to, male or female, so again, your assumption that I was calling you a guy is...telling. FTR, I call females "dude" all the time.

I do take specific issue with your assertion that your "husband" shot his T level up to 3X average. That is medically dangerous (for the stated reasons), and no doctor would ever prescribe a dose of testosterone of that level for someone with a simple case of low T. You're either badly mistaken or...well, I think you know where I'm going with that.

If it makes you feel better to assume that, knock yourself out.

 

Bullshit! You made the post to try and start shit with someone just like you always do. Just like you did here (yet again) with your calling her statement “BS”. You always want to try to attack and disprove people’s posts. I called you out on this shit before, but you don’t have the balls to step to me so you continue to try and pick on the little guys.

Keep it up. It's only a matter of time before people start negging you, and expose you for whose alter you really are.

 

I'm srry that you are going through this I have the same problem. And I do not suspect cheating even though I probly should. I have been shot down so many times that I don't even try anymore. It wasn't like that when we first met and if it was trust me I would have never married him. But now that i know and love him. I am not sure if I could leave for this reason only. And my husband doesn't have any medical conditions so .... It is basically me thinking I am stuck forever with a guy that doesn't screw anymore. It sux but what are u gonna do.

 

if you are a married person that is unhappy with your sex life you need to talk to your spouse constantly to work toward a compromise. if your spouse is totally unsympathetic and unwilling to try and make you happy then at least you know how much they value your marriage and you can act accordingly.