I killed myself

In 2007-2008 me and too many things fucked up my mind and now I'm not able to still love anyone I've killed a real part of myself and I've been dying since then, though I'm trying to make it alive again

 

What Type Of Things Caused This Problem, Was It Drugs, Booze,

Relationship Issues, Or All Of The Above....???



Cheers Glen.

 

wow very strong join date to post count ratio

 

well, he has been dead for a large portion of that time.

 

Explain more. I feel the exact same way.

I was lying in bed last night thinking about driving to my familys house telling them i want to kill myself.

Maybe then these thoughts will go away. Telling them, would crush their mental being about me from now, tell ever, knowing the deep broony can't find love in any form.

It sucks feeling like this.

Knowing i would hhave to get rid of everything i own in a matter of days.

So the cop would walk into my house and it would be empty except my body and note.

Nothing else. No more history.

 

Hi, it's not that I want to kill myself, but I feel like I have already killed my real self and only a robotic part of me is alive, who doesn't have faith in anything and can't love anyone. Fortunately it's starting to go away but a bit slowly.
Please could you explain your state more accurately?
Cheers.

 

hah, I registered here when I was 13 or 14, I'm 25 now

 

Im a recovered alcoholic, 2 years sober still going, and ex-drug addict of random shit.

I am 100% sober from everything even from coffee..and it is not fun...but if i relapse then things will only get worse...

Lost many friends from getting my mind clean.

As time goes on i feel more and more that i need to leave the country (america) for a little bit. It would be an adventure that i have not had in many many many years...

 

broony,

telling your family that you feel suicidal might be helpful, though I'm sure they would be startled

you can talk to us about this more here, or you might want to try a suicide hotline or www.suicideforum.com

making your guns or at least ammo hard to get to might be a good idea right now

anti-depressants might be a good idea right now, especially if you think you may be in imminent danger of an attempt

you've accomplished a lot by being sober. maybe you could stay with a family member or a close friend who can watch over you and help keep you safe and sober

going to the hospital is always an option if you feel like there is no other way

hope that things can get better soon!

 

op, have you tried going to therapy?

 

i always have a list of things i would check off if to ever leave this world doing it my way.

i wouldn't ever kill myself off of emotion. it will be logical with many reasons that only the one doing it most likely would understand.

as with many who have commited suicide.

 

I don't believe in trying to tell someone that they shouldn't commit suicide, but rather to remind them that they can likely get much better and feel glad to be alive if they get treatment or otherwise find an effective way to deal with the cause of their suicidal feelings

killing yourself would probably devastate your family. I hope that there is a way you can get better!

 

Broony, I think that its best option for you to have a good psychotherapy, but be careful to choose a very good therapist.
I was kind of depressed in 2007-2008, and I didn't have a proper teacher, that's why I've killed the best part of myself. I had one idiot lecturer in psychology, he was an atheist, and a very messed-up man, and listening to him has brought me to this fucking state! First I thought that living without love was incredible, but after a few months I realized that it was really awful, but it was too late to go back! I've been like dead since then. I'm not feeling too bad, but I'm not yet able to experience the same feelings and cognitions I was able to experience before that.
Luckily I had another teacher psychotherapists who really insisted that I went back to my real "self", but I just talked to him for half an hour and after it I told him to stop because I got tired from his questions but he has really made contribution in my returning to myself, but it's not over yet and I think I need more forcing

 

And still, most people will tell you that a psychologist must not insist on anything! they're dumb like asses.

 

I hate all the people who have contributed in ruining my life for all these years. In fact it was my own fault, but many people have supported me in doing so. May god forgive me being such an idiot and stupid.

 

If you ever love anyone from distance (platonic), never listen to things silly people say to you, including friends and family. They say: you're stupid, that's not love, you're stupid, you're stupid, sex is more important, having family is more important, you don't love him it's just an illusion, you'll never be happy like this, you're stupid, you're stupid etc. All those things are big LIES and I'm dead because I don't love him anymore like I used to love him 4 years ago. And BTW, I was feeling like I were in heaven when I loved him, in spite of fact that I've never had any relationship. So, don't believe those assholes who tell you what I have mentioned above.

 

I saw a psychologist the first 6 months of getting clean of lthe liquor. It was good, but not worth it. He was a good man who did help, who was also 90% blind, so his questions had a different kind of twist on them.

I left though because i didn't want the people who were payinf for it, to pay any more.

Most of the questions are just so generic...

I don't think suicide is such a big deal. I hope i live to age 85 and am happy all the way through. I just don't want to die slowly and painfully. I have known many people who have died from illness and that is not something i want to put my mind and body through. Driving back and forth to hospitals, getting crazy meds, just doing that routen, no thanks. Ive been in and out of hospitals at a young age, i don't want that in my old.

It also depends on how you view death, your acceptance, if you are or not afraid, and what not. Some peoples views on life, this world, and they shoes they walk in is a very happy free place, to others its a prison.

We are the only one who can save ourselves from ourself.

We are our own worst enemy.

Wether we die from public execution, a car crash, old age, or suicide, we are still going to the same place.

 

If $money$ was not tied to our lives like a ball and chain, a lot of us would still be around.