I'm a slut...a dirty slut....

Uh, yeah, neither party was innocent..
Just make sure he is honest with her cause again lying never solves anything...

 

OMG! If she goes suicidal over this, I'm never gonna forgive myself. And if he lies, I'll tell her myself. And then I'll kick his ass.

Holly

 

there CAn be good lying, maybe lying isnt the best thing to do for this situation, but still you should break it to her as sugar coated as you can.

 

oh yea...That's possible...

"Lizzie, you know that I respect you...and You are such a cool person...Umm...I slept with Sam..."

Oh yea...I don't think there is any easy way to break this.

Holly

 

slowly, nicely, and... i dunno.

 

send her a link to this thread..

it should be up to him to tell her..and if he doesnt, may someone kick him in the balls..

 

I'll do it! I'll kick him in the balls ,or castrate him or something!

Holly

 

I am going to have to agree with shroomies on this one, honesty is the way to go.

 

If you ask me, he isn't too into that girl. And if you ever wanted to date him you would probably do it in a second but you shouldn't...because he'll cheat on you too.

 

oh no. I wouldn't date him. I think I know better. and I don't like him any way other than as a friend, who I also feel attracted to sexually...but he and I would not do well as a couple...But I know he would cheat...I'm not dumb...He'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you...

Holly

 

The operative word here seems to be 'tell!' Look kiddies, this is not show and tell. Another person hopped into YOUR bed, forgot (conveniently-for the moment) his responsibilities, had you and the attendant momentary pleasure, left you (perhaps) with life's biggest responsibility, and is gone/willbe gone!
And you are worrying about "tell??" Feel as dumb as you want, but miss-other-girl is HIS responsibility. You have enough to worry about just sorting out you life(s). Are you pregnant? Will you see a lawyer? Should you tell him about the child? If not pregnant have you learned anything? Let's be as hip as we want, but kids deserve a home, planning (communes are great!!!!), and love (which we are supposed to be good at.) If life has given you a taught thought and your womb remains empty (whew!) ponder this: ships and peeps pass each other in the night, admit to the other's presence, and go their sep ways. As Fritz Perls wrote..."and if we don't meet again - why, that's ok too." Forget third parties, they are other's responsibilities!

 

Wha? I have no responsibility to make sure that my friend (he is still that, no matter) is honest with his girlfriend?

And as far as pregnancy, if that happens, I'll do what I feel is right. And it might not line up with your view of what is right, but oh well.

And yes, I have learned something from all of this. I'm not trying to be hip or anything. I had a momentary lapse in brain function. I will NOT be doing this again, at all. I will never touch Sam again. I'm drawing a clear cut line as to where our friendship ends and if he can't deal with that, then he's no friend of mine.

Holly

 

hmmmm, could you summerize this cause its sorta hard to understand, and what i got from it was just, how do i put this, odd...

 

Awww. Well, even the best of slutty college girls can fuck up sometimes. Hmmm... was that too tacky..? :& Ahh well, that's me... tacky. Anyway... I hope you get things sorted out with your friend! Don't blame yourself too much, these things happen.

Hugs to you, chica!

 

*hugs* I was almost waiting for you to respond!

Holly

 

Well, first of all you're no slut, you're human. Second, I really don't feel as if anyone is more to blame than the other. You BOTH let your emotions and hormones take control of you and just because he has a responsibility to someone else and you don't, doesn't mean he's more to blame. You knew he had another girl and you are jsut as responsible. I wouldn't get all pissed at him, because you could have said no and you could have stopped it. He may have initiated it, but apparently you did nothing to control yourself.

Go and try as hard as you can to get that morning after pill. You can take it 72 hours after intercourse. Don't make this situation more complicated. I know you're having financial troubles right now, but a baby is going to be a much bigger expense than a pill. Do whatever you have to do. Ask you friend to help with the money becuase he is also responsible for this. If you do become pregnant, I beg of you to not have an abortion. Carry the child to term and have a loving family adopt it if you cannot afford to care for it. Many families are waiting for anyone to trust them with a baby and will help pay for medical and hospital bills from the beginning and compensate you greatly for giving a little miracle to them. You can be taken care of. Even if you do not find a family right away, as soon as you become pregnant and if you have little money, most states HAVE to make sure you go to the doctor and get proper care. They will pay for it. Please do not let your financial position decide the life of a human being. THere are ways to take care of yourself.

While it is his girlfriend, and he is the one who should tell her, he may not and this girl needs to know. Talk to him first. Tell him that you want her to know because you feel awful about it. If he refuses (he's an awful friend first of all) then you should call her. I wouldn't start out with " I repect you a lot" because you obviously don't. You hurt a fellow sister and you shouldn't sugar coat things or make it seem like he was the one responsible. Tell her you screwed up, you coulen't help yourself, and even though you don't love him like she does, you had sex with him anyway and you feel awful about it. Don't expect her to not be mad at you. Shit, if she's not you're a lucky gal. But chances are she'll hate you a bit. Let her decide what she wants to do about her relationship. Call her to explain, because you want her to know and want to apologize and say nothing else. She's gonna be heartbroken and probably won't want words of sympathy from the mistress.

I hope everything works out for you and I'm sorry you feel so awful.


(((( hugs))))

 

Thank you so much for that, headymoechick!

*hugs back*

As far as pregnancy, I'm in university too...and I don't know how I could deal with it all...But it won't get that far...I'm going to the clinic in about a half hour.

Holly

 

Stick to that statement and you're gonna be ok. He should feel way more ashamed than you do.

 

dont take this offensively but it sounds to me like you want to tell her in hopes of her breaking up then this boy will run back to you maybe I'm wrong and maybe I'm not

 

You're way wrong.

Holly