i think that the reason you're not having any luck with women probably is probably related to you using language like 'bag a girl' and talking like sex is your only reason for looking for a relationship. maybe nobody is mistaking your qualities, and you're actually just kind of douchey? or maybe i'm wrong, but it seems to me, from reading your posts, that you're just complaining that women won't let you put your dick in them when you think they should.
^ no I'm just genuinely disappointed that all the traits I've gathered (being nice, patient, valuing deep connections, listening, thinking, sharing) that I THOUGHT were good qualities, even important for mankind, are not given any worth in the dating game. Or at least in the beginning. That it's shallow things like puffing your chest out, not caring too much what the other person has to say, appearing busy and aloof *(then all of a sudden engaging?) that gets your foot in the door 7 times out of 10. Strength & calculated play trumps real. Or at least it gets results w/ today's society and unenlightened sluts. & That women's luxury in the dating game makes it harder for a lot a looot of smart good men. You also only end up hooking up with players who know the game. And women get to "bag guys," -- so why not just not sugarcoat it? Please don't mistake a language choice or writing style with the original intent here. Anywho, I THINK I've said everything. Maybe I have to find strong(er) ways to communicate what strengths I think I have, or continue growing in wisdom but loveless. (I've had offers guys, don't mistake.)
people who think that being nice is a sort of currency for which payment should be expected are often not particularly nice, in my experience. more or less most guys thinks of themselves as being nice guys, the thing is that some seem to think that what that entails is putting on a performance for which everyone should be grateful, and then complain when no one drops anything in their hat. i don't imagine its that hard to figure out when someone is performing for your benefit with the intention of getting something out of you. maybe it ain't so much a case of being a nice or nasty guy, as being an honest one? anyway, i've never played the "dating game" so my opinion is practically worthless anyway
I think this ^^^ pretty much sums it up right here. The best game is having no game, be true to yourself and those around you.
Those things are important. As I said here, it is not about being an ass all the time or nice all the time. It is first and foremost about (Alpha traits) taking the lead and being confident and assertive and honest - women desire assertive leaders, confidence is sexy, as is being who you are and knowing exactly what you want and making decisions. (Indecisiveness is a real turn off.) Then to have some (Beta) thrown in the mix as the relationship takes off is great, all those traits you mentioned are positive within a relationship, as long as you still keep leadership, comfidence and assertiveness etc. No one needs to act an ass. Example: (When the mood is right) It is far more hot for a man to grab a woman's hand, give it a knowing squeeze - no words needed - and take her to bed rather than a man who says "do you want to make love? shall we go upstairs?" A man who says, "Make sure you put on that red dress you have tonight, and be ready for 7 because I have a table booked for a meal at (name of) restaurant...." Is far more enticing than a guy who says "Shall we go for a meal? What restaurant do you want to go to? I will go wherever you want to eat." Both ways of the above example are not being an asshole, but one is far more sexy, appealing and leaves a girl wanting more. You don't have to be an asshole, you can be nice and cool and caring while showing a girl you are the business and not a guy to be messed around with. The same may apply in bed too - after foreplay etc... "Do you want me to put it in now?" Is a huge turn off to something like "turn over so I can fuck you" - while you put her in position (which is hot!) However, also consider the type of girl you want - headstrong women will present a challenge, but that can be good! A quieter type will be less challenging - knowing what you want is half the battle.
^^^^^ this again. I complimented my current guy "you are so sweet"....and he responded "don't take advantage". The age of men/women complexities!
I'm glad someone can relate. And I have often said the same thing about a sane girl that likes to party. I've known a couple but things didn't work out. Most of the time the girl is either way more crazy than me or tries to change me drastically before the relationship even gets off the ground. It's an interesting situation to be in that's for sure.
be yourself! be a leader! don't be indecisive. "say it like this instead." Have confidence, confidence, confidence. Sheesh. Can I actually be myself and human? Women can't even lead (or start - fuck, please, just sometimes start one) a conversation and I'm suppose to conquer my personality and ego? C'mon now. The difference is laughable. I'm happy for some of your advices, and I need a mental break from this anyhow, but I'm getting advise from girls who have probably been sheep'd into their relationship. Or at least didn't have to take lead and make it happen themselves. From such a position, you literally have no idea... Anyways, that's prolly enough for now soo Peace. :sunny:
Cos they dont marry the ones they want to fuck. Not sugarcoating it and they'd never get the ring on their finger
Simply not true - they marry the ones they want to fuck. I still want to fuck my husband every night 28 years later. If women didn't want sex with their prospective husbands, they would hardly be wanting marraige.
*I'm aware but silly I should have to hype myself up. Even sillier i'm getting advise about being confident from a gender that refuses to take any risk in the dating game because of precisely that. Also I do believe its true, unless you have some alpha skills to display, your beta skills or any of them will go largely unnoticed and unappreciated.
Hmmm, well there are some confident women out there, perhaps you haven't met them yet, or, like some men, are put off by them. Relationships take work. Everyone has a heightened persona when they first meet someone they like. Everyone hypes themselves up at the start, even if it is just through subconscious body language. Largely though just be who you are and if that is not working where women wish to stay with you, then you have a choice, either work at the relationship/yourself, or stay as is and let them go. A relationship will not work without work.
^ put off by a confident woman? I wish that rumor/stigma would die. why? I enjoy conversation. If you can bring it out of me, more kudos to you. you say be who you are, but if i am extremely beta in a world that doesn't show love for that trait in men, then there's a problem. A huge one. I can be CONFIDENT in being BETA, but then again, I'm going in with the wrong ammunition -- or am I. Does real confidence in being 'beta' finally trumph it and it becomes alpha? -- It's really an interesting mindfuck for men that women rarely have to face themselves. Actually it's not interesting more-so as frustrating. And just plain wrong, imo. Men should get to be themselves, nice guy and all. But that's going to have to be my decision 'cuz women sure ain't gonna help and are only going to run at the first sign of weakness with no explanation (rude).
I don't find assertive people very attractive. And people a lot of people think they are just being confident when really they come off as arrogant which is also not attractive to me. My point is that different people find different things attractive.