Advice Please

I placed my hand on her shoulder just as she was leaving & it wasn't pushed away - so that shows she appreciated it & me just spending a bit of time chatting with her again after all those years of not seeing her.
I could have given her a hug at my work place - she may have appreciated that as well? I hope to see her again if she comes to my workplace & I get to have a short chat again. Just part of job of being friendly with daily customers.

 

You've already said what happened. My advice is:
How about you say this to your wife: I have recently seen somebody I knew a long time ago, I'd like to be a friend because I feel that she needs some emotional support. Maybe we can have her over for dinner one night.

 

No they are not all asains - just a small amount are.
I have female & male workers at my workplace of ages from 15 & upwards & there are a few 100.

Some of the females I work with are attractive. But I only work with about 20 females / males in my department , there are a lot more staff in other departments of my workplace.

 

This is the vibe you give off NZ.

 

I haven't even found out if this woman is still married or not.
I didnt ask her that as we spoke about her health & other trauma she'd gone thru previously. So I will let her decide what she tells me about her other personal life now sometime soon?

 

I only wanted to show her I'm being friendly & I'm wiling to share some time with her if she wants it? Thats what some people like to do for others who have gone thru hell & may just like some conversation with someone they knew years ago.

 

What are you talking about? Where did I say: ask her if she is married.

 

My wife has several friends of her own (different ages) & there's no reason I cant have a new one of my own as well. Some of my friends are workmates - they are females - but thats only because of just concidence.

 

So what's the problem?

 

If I ever see her again (?) I will ask if she's married / single etc.
I dont know if she ever did marry or not. Suppose I can ask ?
She never asked me that question - more about her past & present problems & bit about working at the same place years ago.

 

Sorry but your ulterior motive is obvious. Your intention is not a friendly one, your intention is that you are wanting to go to a private place with her to fuck her. Very sleazy.

It bothers me because this lady is vulnerable and you are wanting to take advantage of her vulnerability by pretending to be a listening ear. Your marraige must be in trouble.

 

Just offer her the opportunity to talk if she thinks it'll help. See how she reacts. If she's receptive, offer your number.

 

My intension if she wants it (?) is to spend some time together for catching up about things we may like to discuss about our workplace we both worked but not together or at the same time years ago.
My intention is to let her know I'm available if she wants to discuss any problems she has -not that I may be able to help but talking about them may help. No, I wouldnt go as far as f....king her as you put it.
I just want to find out more about what she's been thru & if she's willing to.
If she asked me for a hug / cuddle, she would get one. Showing someone a bit of concern / care & attention is what I have done before & thats a positive thing. I'm not wanting to take advantage of her - just to listen & talk with if she wants some company some time. Her past has been horrific & I want to show I care about her in my way - just making conversation if she wants it. Hopefully cheer her up a bit with a few laughs.
Love can be shown in that way with out sex taking place.

 

That's exactly what I want to do if she approves. She told me the street she lives on but that was all. She lost all of her possessions & rented home in an deadly earthquake in NZ a few years ago & now she's moved back to my town again to try & recover from it. I just want to show that someone she knew years ago is thinking of her & wants to show it in a caring way. Thanks calgirl - glad you see my view on that.
Just trying to help her if I can in a postive way?

 

And if you accidently brushed one of her boobs when you reached for the sugar who would it hurt

 

We may just have a laugh about it & carry on with our conversation.

 

Dress it up how you want, but your intentions are clear, there are many in this thread who can see through the "friends" BS.

You should be communicating with your wife regarding this. It sounds like you have no intention to even let your wife know.

If it is just the hand of friemdship you wish to offer, is there any specific reason why you can't invite her to your home and also let your wife meet her?

If you want a relationship with her it is only fair to let your wife know before it happens. When it comes to hiding things within a marraige it is then a long slippery slope to divorce.

Do you wish to stay married? If so, why not examine and improve your marraige, putting your energies there instead of meeting another woman in secret?

Simply invite her round for tea then you can all have a chat - if you are wanting to hide it, then you obviously cannot be trusted and certainly don't take your marraige or your vows seriously.

At the very least, be honest with yourself, at the moment you are sugar coating your intentions and trying to fool yourself.

 

I may just chat to her if she comes thru my workplace again & I ask if she wants to get together for a chat or just ask if she wants my phone number so we can txt instead.
No harm in asking. I want her to know I'm offering my friendship if she wants someone extra in her life? She may just prefer to be treated as a customer instead.
I guess I will find out if we meet again?

 

I agreed with brad too...

 

No, she buys her groceries where I work & there's only a 50 /50 % chance of me seeing her when she's there. I may not be at work when she comes in or if she's there at the same time as me, I may be in another area of my work place at the time & just may not get to see her then. So if I'm in the right place at the right time to get to see her, well thats just luck. She was in yesterday but we only got to chat very briefly & I had my mobile number to give her but someone interupted our chat & we didn't get to talk again after that. I should've looked for her shortly after that & had a longer chat.
Better luck next time I hope ? I"m now keeping my contact details in my pocket every time I'm at work now - just in case I see her & get to have a private chat again sometime with her there.