So a Texan dies and gets into Heaven, taking the tour with St Peter, but he's totally not impressed. Texas has prettier rivers, nicer forests, a bluer sky ... in short everything in Texas was bigger or better than what was in Heaven. Peter grows annoyed and takes the Texan to the edge of Heaven and points down to the eternal fiery abyss of Hell. "Is something bigger and badder than that in Texas," he snaps. The Texan looks thoughtful for a moment, then says, "nope, but I know some fellers from Houston can put that fire out for y'all."
