Son-in-law and his mother

daisymae, Sounds like the exact same thing. MIL thinks she knows more than her son/my daughter. I'm sorry you have to put up with that, as I know that it's not easy. It makes one's spouse make a choice...mom/father or wife. That puts an unbelievable amount of stress on the partner. I feel really bad for my son-in-law. In essence, his mom and her family have all but disowned him. My wife and I have become surrogate parents for all intents and purposes. We do not mind this happening. It's just such a shame as all the burden as parents/grandparents now falls on us.

 

Your daughter has a right to raise her kids the way she sees fit. There's nothing wrong with spoiling them once in a while when they're over there but not to that extent.

I hear about this kind of stuff so much and it really bugs me that grandparents sometimes like to have more control over things with their grandchildren than they should. I don't have children yet but there's no way I'd allow their grandmother (my fiance's mom) to babysit my kids because I can't trust her. Your daughter needs to tell this woman she can't babysit if she can't agree not to do things that her and her kids are uncomfortable with.

 

Some knuckleheads need to be right,even if their behaviour is unacceptable. The behaviour of the in-laws IS wrong BECAUSE the mom says it's wrong. Even if the family flies apart--they still need to be RIGHT. Even if they don't get to see the kids--they STILL need to be right. Best to steer clear of people like that,however difficult. They've already created problems for the kids,because this situation will have to be explained to them and is probably going to confuse them.

This is kind of an old thread,so maybe Dutch will come back and update the situation.

 

Well it's great to have family in their lives, both for them, and for the parents to have a rest.

But it's quite frustrating when your parents decide to parent in a way you have asked them not to -- they already parented you, and it's time to step back.

 

Update - My daughter and her husband are sticking to their guns and not permitting the grandparents to watch the kids. They just had a birthday party for the youngest child, and the grandparents were there. The relationships are a bit strained, as one may expect, but everyone got along and there were no "scenes."

 

hi there,.
Its shocking to know that she is having some wrong terms with the children.i think u must talk to her about what u think and put forward your opinion about her idea of parenting.And educate her that the strict or the strict way is not required and the kids can be tamed with love.