Please Help: Am i being played?

We’ve been together for 1.5 years( both eighteen). She was brought up ridiculously pampered and spoiled by her wealthy parents who never told her “no”. She’s never had a job or had to work for anything and has enjoyed being handed things on a silver platter. She is Mae West esque with her vocabulary
"I don't think a girl can ever be pampered enough" was her excuse if I sarcastically asked her why I should buy her xyz item. I’m well off as well but I never had anything handed to me, I have a job, and buy stuff at K mart. Basically every weekend she’ll come over and we’ll go to the mall where it’s mandatory to buy her whatever she wants. If I didn't she would pout,cross her arms, whine, roll her eyes, and make me feel horrible. Sometimes she’ll would ask nicely/suck up but other times she’ll just hold out her hand and say “ sweetie, money”. Since I wanted to be nice( and admittedly a doormat) I gave in. It made me mad though when she threw in little comments like “ You’re like a little piggy bank” or when we were with her friends she’d tell them how “ well trained” she had me.( that one made me sick) or what she used to do until she finally quit was I would give her the money and or credit card and she would pat me on the head like a dog and say “ That's a good boy.” I’ve always enjoyed things like going on drives, walks, movies, reading( you can’t read as a couple but still) etc.
I asked her before why she doesn’t reciprocate( other than xmas and birthday) and she’d laugh and tell me “Girlfriends don’t indulge boyfriends”. I thought if I broke up with her then she would bash me around school and make me sound mean and cold. During the holidays I did put on the " holiday pounds" which didn't help because I'm already overweight. Dinner wasn't much better. I take her out to nice place but she was being bossy and overbearing . One of our dinner conversations went along the lines of
Her: What do you thinking?
Me: Maybe the ... burger
Her: That looks fattening, pick something else
Me: * sarcastically* How bout a salad ?
Her: No dressing though, it's bad for you and your breath
I ended up with a burger and she'll tell me " Fine, but no dessert and you will start dieting if you're going to eat like this.
I thought if I break up with her, she would go around the school lying about me and bashing me and make me look like a verbally abusive bad guy who dumped a poor innocent girl. I talked to my best friend and he said I should give it one more shot and talk to her and I did. I said I want to get back to the basics of a relationship( couch cuddling, going for walks and drives, going to a movie, etc). Not buying expensive things and pouting and begging me to do her homework for her. I got her to apologize for, in her words, “ acting a little bratty” It was more than a little but it’s a start. I wanted to her to know that this is her last shot. For Sr. Skip Day, she came over, told me she had changed, for the first time in long time she was really sweet to me and made breakfast. Spent the whole day on the couch with her hugging me the whole time. That entire week was no different and she was constantly blowing kisses when she passed me in the hallway and built me up in front of her friends rather than tear down with her usual “ He buys me anything. I’ve trained him well” shtick.
I tried to study her friends' reactions, I figured if they smirk, then it's all a joke, but they didn't. On the way home, ( we both live close to the school) she insisted we hold hands, we’ve never held hands. She hasn’t asked me to do her chores or homework or asked to go shopping. I hate thinking this because I’ve always tried to assume people are good( or in her cased changed). But I don’t know if she’s being sincere or not?

 

I'm not totally sure where to start:
1. Stop caring so much what she will or won't say to the rest of your school, you won't be there forever and she sounds like a massive cow anyway so who cares? You know the truth of the matter so stand your ground and don't base any of your identity on what other people think of you.
2. Every relationship you enter in life should have a degree/bare minimum amount of mutual respect no matter who it is (family, friends, co-workers, boss, partners). If you're not getting the respect you deserve and you can't reason with them about it you should be willing to end that relationship lest it end you.
3. To elaborate, she does truly sound like an irredeemable little brat who needs to be told where to go. Not only is she demanding unreasonable things from you every week while being disrespectful, but she has the audacity to tactlessly make comments on your weight during a meal which I'm guessing you paid for? I mean in your own time perhaps you can and should get your diet under control but thats your business and your prerogative and it's not her place to comment on it.

I am rarely this black and white when responding to threads or giving advice to friends, there is always 2 sides to any story. It's just that from what you're saying you are being used like a condom and walked all over by some little shit and reading about it has actually gotten me angry. I think you should end it with her since she sounds like an irredeemable user and may even have some disorder (no conscience for you apparently) however if you want to continue with the relationship, if you truly love her then put your fucking foot down firmly. Tell her you won't be used, tell her you're not her atm and tell her that your weight is your concern. If she talks shit to the whole school then so be it, at least you stood your ground and kept your dignity.

 

I don't wanna be judging this person who I don't know at all, but based solely on what you say, I'd think she's selfish and childish, and that you'd be better off moving on, no matter what one'd say in your school.

If I were a man, I'd steer clear of women who thought I had to buy them things. I may be generalizing too much here, but I think people who are for sale aren't usually worth their cost, the exception being totally financial arrangements where roles are clearly spoken of by the parts involved.

 

She is a spoiled rich kid . It is unlikely she will change , if you like being treated that way fine , other wise I would say just find some one else .

 

I'd fuck her off. What does she have? A magic vagina? Plenty of fish in the sea that aren't as self deluded.
Concentrate on your studies. I'm sure your not the only person who finds her behaviour odd.
You shouldn't be okay with someone treating you like that. You should be with someone you respect and vice versa.

 

And yes, you are being played.

 

when you consider childbirth, i would argue that all vaginas are magic.

 

I dont think even a "magic vagina " is worth a woman telling you how to eat .
because I'm already overweight. Dinner wasn't much better. I take her out to nice place but she was being bossy and overbearing . One of our dinner conversations went along the lines of
Her: What do you thinking?
Me: Maybe the ... burger
Her: That looks fattening, pick something else
Me: * sarcastically* How bout a salad ?
Her: No dressing though, it's bad for you and your breath
I ended up with a burger and she'll tell me " Fine, but no dessert and you will start dieting if you're going to eat like this.

Find your self a big girl that likes mushroom bacon cheese burgers . There not hard to find .

 

Hahaha, so true.. to some people this is a fetish activity, to the rest of us it's being a spoiled child. Move on. Find chicks that want your time and respect, not your money.

 

Maybe she is being nicer now... that's good but I would consider that maybe she is being nicer because she realized that if she didn't straighten up she would lose you and all of the nice things you do for her. Unless she is really sincere about changing her ways that realization is only going to be temporary until she goes back to her old ways.

I would say it might be a good idea to cut it off unless she is going to make a serious effort to grow up and you are going to stand by her as she goes through the difficult transformation. Let's face it, if you two do stay together one day you will have bills to pay and such and that will force her to change or you will lose everything you are working for or have to work that much harder. And while you are young and do not have that many bills you could be saving your money for a vehicle or travelling or something a lot cooler than everything that lady wants. You work hard for your money and if she did respect you and your needs rather than her own she would want to see you save your money and do good for yourself, not blow it on her. If you are 18 it's likely that in a few years you will be paying rent, light bills, cell phone bills and insurance... that stuff takes responsibility and the ability to save money. Hell I am 22 and working hard and saving money... over the last couple years I was given a nice chunk of change and blew it on other people and crap that I wanted when I could have easily saved it and not be working so hard now to pay my bills. I know you're young but it's a good idea to think about that stuff now while you can probably save money easily.

Plus, if you do break it off with her a girl is going to come along that respects you and wants to go out and eat bacon burgers and ice cream cones and enjoys going for walks and cuddling and such. There is somebody out there for everybody that it does not take so much work to be with and that you do not always have to talk to about the relationship.... somebody that makes life easier and more enjoyable and respects your needs as well as there own. Do not worry about the gossip and such. You will be out of that school soon enough and none of that will matter at all and what will matter is that you respected yourself enough and showed enough maturity to get out of an unhealthy relationship.

Good luck!!

 

It seems like you have being played, but maybe she need somone to speak up to her for a change.

You say that she is changed now. In can be that way that she likes it when you put your foot down and said no.

 

Cross her arms and whine? Buy her something every week at the mall?? Really? She sounds annoying.
What are your reasons for dating her? does she have any good qualities?..

 

Simple solution- cut out the gifts, if she dumps you, she,s doing you a favor. Time for her to grow-up.