Can a bisexual guy ever be faithful in a male/female relationship?

Hi there,

I came here to look for some advice and hopefully find some answers to my buzzing brain.

I've always known my partner was bi from the word go, it hasn't really bothered me that much and we are quite open and talk about it. We've been together now over two years, have a seven month old boy and got engaged earlier this year. When we were first together my gay friend found him on a "hook up" site, after confronting him he deleted it all as he said it was old and I believed him and never again has anything like that happened.

However, two days ago I found messages on his phone to another guy which are all quite explicit about having sex and possibly sending pictures. They talk about how they've been flirting for "too" long and need to meet up.

I confronted him about it and he says that he would never have met up with him and followed through with it, and he'd never cheat on me.

For me words are enough, all I can think about now is him having sex with another man. As our sex life hasn't been the same after having the baby I just thought it was to do with the change of lifestyle, now I wonder if its because he's fed up of being with a woman.

So, if you're a bi man can you really ever be truly happy with just what a woman can give? It's seriously driving me crazy! All I can do now is picture him with another guy. It doesn't matter if its a guy or girl it is the same, but it does make me feel worse being a man though, feels like I'll never be enough. Now we're sleeping in separate rooms at the moment as I've said I need time to think.

Am I over reacting? I don't have many open minded friends so its hard to talk to other people about it.

He's apologised and all that shebang, but I just don't know whether I can trust him now.

Would really appreciate any advice,

Signed confused and frustrated.

 

I think a better question would be "Could YOUR bisexual guy be faithful in your relationship." This doesn't have anything to do with bisexuals as a whole, just your specific guy.

Bisexuals can certainly be faithful in a relationship, and they can certainly cheat. It doesn't have anything to do with orientation. It's just that if they do end up cheating, it's likely that they'll be with someone of the opposite gender of their significant other.

As for your problem, I sympathize. You know your guy better than we do, so what do you think? Can you trust him? Is he telling the truth? Do you believe him when he says that he's sending dirty text messages to other guys as part of a sexual fantasy that he has no intent to act on in real life? If you do, then you're probably good. If not, well... that's something you'll have to figure out together.

Having a child with him complicates things. You can't just leave him on a whim that he intends to cheat on you. Just talk to him about what you want, what he wants and what's best for your child. It'll be hard, but you're going to have to figure this out.

 

Trust is key. If you can't trust your man, then that must be the first thing to address, before anything else, even sexuality.

But, as Victoria said, fidelity is not dependent on sexuality. I'm a bi male, married with kids. I actually prefer men, but am happy and faithful and would never get it on with another guy without my wife's explicit permission and/or involvement.

 

Christie90, yes we can be trusted, as a BI man I to am married. Been married to a wonderful woman for 20 years now, we have 2 beautiful children. Yes, I have a boy friend I am so in love with him just as I would be my wife, and no we have never have had sex not even once. Because I let him choose who he has sex with, male or female. We hang out, drink beers, some days we talk about how that guy looks so damn hot or how that girl is so gorgeous? Bisexuals minds are wired different, in the fact we don't see men as males or females as women. We see each person as an individual we look at each person as desirable, when the time comes we settle down with that one person we connect the most with, mine was my wife, some is with other guys, does this make him gay or disgusting OH, Hell to the no! Please by all means talk to him girl, like my wife talked to me, I explained to her there are days I appeal more to men and then there are days I am more appealed to women, but By golly I would never, ever leave her for anyone else for any reason. Why because I love my wife and as my vows still stand to this day, "TIL DEATH DO WE PART." Love him honey, love him and trust him.

 

Women are intuitive, beautiful, and knowing. I was married 17 years and told my wife I was Bi. Her answer? "I know" We are still together. We agreed on an open marriage and have been going strong for 2+ years. I don't know if your wife will be as cool as mine, but I wish you the best....:sunny: