I really don't know what to say. It was the real thing, family fluff direct. I've taken LSD twice before, but couldn't accept it as real because this stuff apparently affects me differently than LSD trips I've read about. The two hits were small, bright white, with a line visible dividing the little strip in equal parts. The paper it was on was not the kind of paper that disintegrates; I had it in my mouth for an hour, and it was completely intact, a kind of dense wad of cardboard. I still have the strip having found it later, and the paper was quite tough. Anyway, I've done many psychedelics over the last 7 years including salvia, mescaline, mushrooms, DMT, ayahuasca, LSA, and daily weed. This dose proved that I've actually done LSD twice before, although one experience was at a concert after smoking rather more weed than I normally ingest, the crowds and noise resulting in my inability to function, requiring The Family's guards to watch me til I had recovered enough to walk. Saturday at just past 1pm, I put the two hits under my tongue, and then sat quietly in a relaxing, safe location. I haven't fully integrated the trip to give a good trip report, but lets just say there were no open or closed eye visuals which I always assumed were a part of all LSD trips. There were some time oddities in that my roomates would leave to go to the store, and then returned within an impossibly short period of time. There was a sense of encompassing heat, and a heavy, burdensome, sense of pleasure and happiness, while an intricate sense of head pain and nausea subtly intertwined with the sense of well being. There was a distinct sense of the power of the trip, sufficient to make me wonder if the pain would double and triple if i increased the dose. There was a sense of mellow calmness and jittery amphetamine vibration at the same time. Physically, I was super stretchy, yawny, wanna-just-lie still blanketed over a need to get up and do and go and move. My muscles trembled and vibrated and twitched. I had repetitive nervous energy tics and kicks. Had the impression of a beginning migraine, with associated jaw tension. Had to resist the urge to grind or clench my teeth. Worked at staying relaxed while feeling a powerful PUSH. Couldn't deal with TV or any electronics, all of which was too AMPLIFIED. Remember feeling very horny at one point. Had a lot of similarities to being feverish as well. Mirror showed pupil dilation. Then I got the lesson. I had done something bad in my life at one point. Was forced to put aside all excuses, mitigating defense mechanisms, burying techniques , and coping filters, and was forced to relive this wrong doing for many hours, only now having the correct response to it in retrospect: sadness, extreme anguish, guilt, horror, disappointment, pity, and remorse. I wept for hours in the most heartfelt and sincere way, begging forgiveness, and help. I was really really really sorry I had done what I did. It did involve tearing at my hair, water pouring from eyes and nose, face buried in pillow to muffle my cries and crying. It did involve weighing options to try and make this act right, to set it straight; and I'm afraid the solutions were too harsh for my weakness and lack of courage to enact; no matter the solution, it meant the end for me, literally and figuratively, and this included actively hauling out the 12 gauge and putting it under my chin for some minutes, which I again lacked the courage to complete. The trip ramped down as smoothly and as steadily as it ramped up, a feeling of acceptance and finality reigning. Some impression of rainbow streaks in my imagination, and some consideration of an energy chamber which filters and molds energy into physical components, with the use of frequency and resonance divider/organizers. Further in the comedown, saw flickering or flashing in the dark as if a memory were about to burst into play from my imagination. Slept two hours Saturday night. Wired. Although next day surprisingly high functioning. I also remember during trip, having better focus and concentration, and feeling better able to "enact" whatever came to mind, a characteristic which simultaneously created a watchfulness in me to regulate any attempts I might make to actually "enact" or actuate an LSD induced thought. After a good night sleep Sunday night, I feel normal and functional in all areas... Sorry, this trip report is the best I can do at this time. Ps I'm still puzzled by the no Oev or cev, but I guess this how this psychedelic does things.... Pps if I can figure out the symbol things above ill post a picture of the remains of the paper...
You may need a higher dose for visuals... It's good that you were able to face some mistakes, although it seems as if you were unstable in doing so. If you do explore a higher dose, then perhaps attempt to get a trip sitter and/or stash the guns and weapons. I relate to a lot of the physical sensations you mention, except maybe experiencing pain but there is a shifting and rotating stimmy jitterness and mellow calmness usually present for me.
Probably shouldn't have given an uncensored trip report here, people only want the upsides, the cool wow trippy, the pros, the Walt Disney version. Most people here are quite young, the real world hasn't reached them yet. If I actually post again (I think I'm ready to try being an adult now, LSD stormed the castle, and said no more drugs) ill try and keep it g rated without all the icky annoying disturbing personal parts....I was being honest. I see no reason for posting here if its not from the heart....
I don't think anyone is asking you to censor your report. It's a quality one, and I happen to know that it's exactly the type of detail that many members here like to read. Putting the guns away is just a safety tip. Nobody here wants to hear about somebody committing suicide, on LSD or otherwise.
Eeeeeewwww, soggy paper. I enjoyed the report, and I'm an advocate for leaving it uncensored. I spent a night chatting personal shit on aMT, which, in the morning horrified me, cos in my eyes I had metaphorically danced around naked in a room full of people swinging my wang from side to side saying "look at how naked I am!". And that never goes down well when you wake up sober.. but it's not actually such a big deal, and that's how you get honest crit, and the great thing about crit is - you don't have to listen to it :2thumbsup: Plus, by keep it more honest than necessary, you might even help someone else in a similar position. But yeah, leave the guns alone, and enjoy sobriety :sunny:
