...and a well thought out one from the members at that. Yesterday, I spent most of the day grocery shopping barefoot. One of our friends is a cashier at this store. After I left, her manager pulled her inside the office and told her that "he's not supposed to be in here with no shoes" and cannot return unless I do. This information was relayed to me by my wife as our friend spoke with her last night. My wife and I had a very heated argument. She told me that me walking around barefoot is ruining our marriage as many of our friends and family disaprove of it. She told me that I can't spend anymore time with her or the kids in public if I am barefoot. I told her that I wasn't about to change and that I wasn't going to frequent that store again. What should I do here? I feel like I should speak with the store mgr. And before some of you say to "leave my wife and find someone else", I have been married for 20 years, so please...well-thought out words would be appreciated.
Being barefoot is of course a human right, however life is about balance and a search for inner content. If your desire for being barefoot is causing more misery than happiness then the logical option is to wear some footwear. It is sad that you are forced this way, but a little compromise may go well to help your journey. Think hard about this, if your ego is dominating with a need to appease some deep desire or fetish rather than a simple choice then this barefoot fascination may be leading to misery. It's just feet and shoes, I wish you all the best much love Shayla x
Well this is a first....going barefoot in ruining your marriage???? Ok, I can think of worse things such as gambling, drinking, drug use, wife abuse, infidelity, etc, etc. Going barefoot is so natural, I can't think of why it would create friction in your relationship. Is she embarrassed by your actions?, or could it be that she and your family members hate the sight of naked feet???? Have you asked her in more specific terms what does she not like about it?
im sorry you're going thorugh this my friend...with all due respect..it sounds like it's more her problem then yours...it seems that she worries more about what her peers think then her own husband's happieness and im sorry but i dont agree with that at all! I would defintaly talk to her more about it and find out if there are more specific's..hope this helps you my freind and good luck
Is being barefoot more important to you than your marriage? Can you and your wife talk about it and find a compromise that is suitable for both of you? For example: your wife tells you on which occasions, places and around which people she would like you to wear footwear. You tell her on which occasions, how many hours a day, etc. you want to be barefoot. My suggestion would be: arranged dates/meetings with people: footwear. Informal things: going barefoot. Going out with your wife: footwear Going out with your kids: barefoot
i think that if ur wife is threatening a marriage over barefeet, a) astro shark is right. but (full disclosure not in a relationship), i wud interpret it as a a control thing at best. and b) an excuse to prepare..... nahh thats too severe or cynical on my part. If shes so shallow other peoples views are important id be worried about everything from child rearing on. again its just me and im not married or in a relationship but if i was id wonder what other ultimatums id get.
I do worry about what you say here. Presumably you have been going bf for some time and not just started overnight? In which case she has had plenty of time to get used to the idea, and indeed to accept it as one of your little peccadillos that makes you attractive to her. And to say that she will not be seen with you in public seems pretty extreme to say the least. Going bf is a minor part of your life in the overall scheme of things, nevertheless it is something that makes you who you are, and that is what worries me. As others have said, it seems like she is suddenly laying down an ultimatum for you to change who you are....what next? I'm sad to say it, but sometimes we can outgrow a relationship, even after twenty years.... I do hope things work out for you whatever happens. Keep us posted on here if it helps. I'm sure we're all with you on this one....
is it really that difficult to wear shoes on occasion? Seriously, what monumental social injustice do you think you are standing up against? How many children will be fed if you don't don footwear? Will any terminally ill people find comfort and solace in their last moments because you have a disdain for shoes? Will governments take notice of your bare toes and have an epiphany and cease war and civil rights abuses? Is it really worth your marriage? The stuff people deem important.
Yeah I know, a lifestyle devoted to freedom of expression and individuality, yada, yada, yada. What cracks me up is how friggin' important these "free thinkers" feel something as utterly superficial as their fashion choices are. Don't want to start a feud or anything, I honestly just don't get and I feel the attitude goes counter to the philosophical motivation.
My wife has had a difficult time with it as well. The problem is that the barefooter gets used to the reactions of "other people," the partner does not (because not barefooting, not used to people staring/commenting/etc). It comes down to whether the partner is willing/able to tolerate those "other people." And if the partner can't/doesn't, then some compromise/conversation is in order. Shoes (without socks can be nice), barefoot sandals, Vibrams, SOMETHING. And as all the previous posters have said, what's important to you?
I'm in the same boat, OP. My girlfriend is sort of okay with my barefoot hiking, but really doesn't like it if I go barefoot in public (which I don't do all that often anyway). I really don't know why people get in such a tizzy over bare feet. Today we were in a small beach community, a mile from the ocean and walked into an open-stall outdoor mini-mall that sells foo-foo stuff like crystals, light-up dolphins and other new-agey crap. I figured who would hassle me in a place like that, but sure enough a clerk asked me to put my flip-flops on. Afterwards, my girlfriend went off about how embarrassed she was, why do I go barefoot, it's gross, unsanitary, blah, blah. I could have walked into that place smoking a joint, with pink hair, no shirt and wearing a speedo and no one would have cared. But bare feet? OMG! We can't have that. PS My feet are average looking and I keep them clean, shaved, nails short and clean and they have a nice tan this time of year, so I don't think it has anything to do with appearance. I think people just aren't as open-minded and accommodating to things a little outside the norm as they think they are.
