I just wanna share this, because it's new to me

Hum, edited. Too long post. I'll skip to the questions:

What exactly is happening when a man loses his erection during sex? It means he cooled down, doesn't it? Like in going off it? Is it "normal," in the sense, it's OK, happens, move on? If the man becomes hard again and has an orgasm, does it always mean it was good for him?

Does the fact a man's erection is on during a particular sexual act mean he's actually enjoying himself?

 

What exactly happens (apart from pure biology) depends on the situation. Something triggers the reaction and that can be something you did or something he thought.

It should generally be ok and you should move on but many times that's not how it works. The male self-concept usually includes includes some performance stereotypes .... can't perform = no real man. And performance issues can spiral out.

Orgasm = Good ..... but always is a big word.

You are actually doubting that your husband can get hard while eating your pussy??

 

a man can loose his erection during sex for a number of reasons
drink, drugs ,stuff on his mind ,sick ,stress or could be just plain bad/poor sex

drink and tiredness are self explanatory

sick , i have had trouble keeping it up if i was very sick man flu and so on

stuff on his mind , i have been distracted when stupid trivial stuff comes in to my mind and it happens to others as well from wat lads have said to me

stress is a very likely one for a lot of men , work , money , affairs


now the last one is an open answer that could be anyone of 5 or 6 things
and i dont know you so it aint a jab,if its an unusual occurance then it could be one of the above

poor/bad sex this comes from both sides
a woman could be too loose /a man too small
woman could be too wet it happens ,then the male gets no stimulation
wat stimulates you might not him and the other way too
wrong positions and the like
rhythm as well you could want him slow than he is

and i wont say all of the above lol

if it keeps happening talk about it dont let it fester ask is he getting stimulation from it
ask the questions and if ye cant resolve it then it may be a case of a trip to the doctor for a chat

 

Thank you very much for your answers.

And to answer your question, it isn't exactly like that. But during almost 20 years we've been together, he wasn't interested at all in giving oral to me. Only after I asked for a divorce he started doing it and I think it's just natural I wonder about it.

I thought he didn't like it at all. I had asked for it in the past and he told me he preferred to just sit back and relax while I was giving it to him. And that was that.

So, now, when we're doing 69 and his erection is there, I wonder if he's actually enjoying himself doing it. I expected him to go flab, as if doing a terrible chore.

This is new to me.

 

I'm always hard when licking my wife's pussy unless I've just cum myself.

 

Oh, slapper, I hope my man is alright. I had edited my post, because it was really long. But I'll describe the situation: I was on top, cowgirl style. I put a bullet vibrator between us, so that it'd be against my clit. When I put it on, he went less hard, but still some, like half way hard. When I had my orgasm he was hard again and he climaxed only a few seconds later.

It was so good to me, I'm hoping he can live with that. Last night I used the vibrator again (it's tiny) while he was fucking me missionary, my legs up. This time, I didn't feel like any change in his erection while I put the vibrator in place.

I've talked to him after the first time with the vibrator, but I didn't wanna make a big thing of it, to avoid transforming a non-issue in an issue... but, deep down, I was a little worried. Or a lot worried... don't know.

 

And does it mean that you really enjoy it?

I'm looking for reassurance, something like "if it's hard, he's enjoying it." Could a man have a hard on that's not related to having to pee, and it not mean he's enjoying it? Is a hard on, except the morning wood ones, always a sign he's enjoying what he's doing?

 

No, it means that he's thinking of some porn star ..... come on ....

 

^^^ That had not crossed my mind, but, indeed, he could have just been fantasizing about something more pleasant.

 

If you need reassurance you should talk to the person you are with! Nobody here can tell you what he is feeling or thinking about. As for the hard on thing it is different with every guy. Some guys are hard all the time, some only are when they are very arroused and some struggle with it.

 

^^^ Reassuring!

Yes, very new. It was the first time with a vibrator.

Thank you for your post!!

 

The longer my wife spends touching my erect penis for, the longer it lasts.
Its a great turn on just watching her hand stroking it & it turns me on more.
It doesn't bother me if she doesn't make me orgasm, just the feel of someone else's fingers touching your penis is enjoyable if they do it without hurting it.

 

Personally, I don't have to necessarily enjoy the act to get hard. I've been rock hard before with girls that I wasn't really into. A pro can always rise to the occasion and perform regardless. The stiffness of a guys cock shouldn't be used as a barometer for how well he's enjoying the sex. Learn to read the other signs and you'll be able to tell .

 

I see... it's complicated!

Well, we've been fucking like rabbits these days and I'm pretty convinced he's having a very good time with it. I hope it continues so. I don't wanna be analyzing it. I just wanna surf the wave.

I've taken a decision: if he feels unhappy about something, he'll have to voice it. If he doesn't, I'll assume the best.

 

That's the mindset a lot of guy's take into the dating/love/sex field. Only they expect the women to put a voice their thoughts, which doesn't work well for a bunch of reasons.

Not criticizing you in anyway, just wanted to point that out for the conversation in this thread.

 

^^^^^ Yes, I understand. My opinion on it is that it is unfair. No one should be expected to read minds. Our communication channels have always been open. I tell him in clear terms what I want and he always did the same. If I start the guess game, where is it going to take me? It'd spoil a good thing. I can't read minds. If he says it's good, I'll just take his word for it.

Just so that it is clear, my 'problem' is the thought that, if it is so good, why wasn't he doing that before? Inertia? He thought he wouldn't like it, but he actually does? It doesn't really matter.

 

It's very possible that the vibrator put him off some. Could be that he felt inadequate like you needed something else to get off. It could be the sensation to him was awkward or took some getting used to. Ultimately, it is up to the guy whether or not he is hard (unless there is a physical issue). I would assume he finds you to be very attractive since you have been together for a long time. My thought is that adding the vib just took some getting used to. Sometimes maybe you could use the vibe on yourself and give him a show of sorts before you both get into each other? You get off, then you let him get off. Sometimes masturbating together can be really hot and it can build anticipation for what follows.

 

^^^^^

Yes. I've talked to him about it and he said he'd been feeling self-conscious. He also isn't too keen on vibrations on himself. But after a few times, he got over it. He even played with it on my clit to make me orgasm.

His erections are as hard as they come, now. And he's told me he's enjoying seeing me so hot, all wiggly, my pussy biting his cock, so hard it spasms when I have my orgasms with him inside me.

 

You just made my 74 year old whanger so hard a cat couln't scratch it!!!

 

Damn girl! I can see why he's not having any issues anymore!