my first poem

i actually wrote these as song lyrics. but since i'm not musically inclined, there is no music to go with them, so i guess it's pretty much a poem.


edit: i erased it.


and i wrote a 2nd one if anyone is interested

 

yeah man, im interested, post both back up, would like to read and offer some comments.

 

where is it

i wrote a goofy rhyme about butter around here somewhere, was the first thing like that i'd done in years, was kinda fun but i have no talent there

 

why did you erase it? PM em to me I'll read both of em :sifone:

 

just because we see things from our point of view
does that make them necessarily true?

unable to see it how it truly is
everyone's inherently limited
by what falls in between one's ears
maybe when we die
we'll realize it was just a silly fear

as we release from our bodies and free up our minds
who knows what we'll be in store to find?

i know i just hope it doesn't end
you're not only my lifelong, but my eternal friend

 

"i'm really glad"
there's something instead of nothing
is that what we could have had?

would that be bad?
we wouldn't have known we were missing out
but i think i'd still be sad

is there a reason for this?
or did circumstances just happen to allow for it?

consciousness persists.
turned into something instead of nothing
is that how it came to this?

who created this?
we can't personify mother nature as a pacifist

we just can't forget.
even though we have to deal with so much bullshit
we could have got nothing instead of this

 

and the song that inspired them both:

http://grooveshark.com/s/Stab/2quvNF?src=5


"i'm really glad" is in quotes because he says that at ~1 minute

 

Yeah I am interested in hearing your poem. Be encouraged. You are creative and You can and will write. We will read and listen. Maybe someone else can put your word poems into music. It is possible. Write it down and share it with me?

 

thanks for the encouraging words / interest.

see posts #5 and #6

those are the two poems that i wrote to the song Stab by Built to Spill

 

I like both of them

 

Write something fresh and new natural like love and thoughtful provoking colorful words of
etiquette and kindness. Maybe about an old flame or a school teacher....
Let's hear it on paper. Go for it!!

 

^^^i don't aspire to be a writer or a poet (or a rapper) but thanks for the words of encouragement.

i won a grand prix on mario kart wii the other night, and as the credits were rolling and the music was playing i free-styled this:

"i got schooled for awhile, i got books up on my shelf.
stay away from me if you know what's good for your health.
but if you come to battle me, you better stop and think
'cause when i come to the battle, i bring the kitchen sink"


not that i think those lyrics are so great, but i was pretty impressed with myself for coming up with it off the top of my head.

 

This is fantastic.

 

thanks mama!

did you listen to the song too? i can't really take full credit, since i wrote this to the song.

"i'm really glad" is in quotes because he says that in the song. and that's when you start reading.

 

I just listened to it . Good stuff. I've seen that band mentioned around here a couple times, but I hadn't listened to them until now.

 

Porkstock - Encore! Encore!

 

yeah i mention them a lot

deviate made a thread too though when he was going to see them. they are my favorite band and the best fucking live show i have ever been too