What's going on?

No offense taken, don't worry, lol. It's really a long story, but let's just say my first online relationship was a wild ride. She and I shared mutual attraction but I was reluctant to get into a relationship with her at first. Eventually, she pretty much charged forth and "tore down" my emotional guard rather than gently lowering it. We had many arguments, but it was also fun when things were going well. After she dumped me, though, I got a bit emotionally unstable for a while. I think it was around that summer when I went on my 2nd hiatus from HF.

As for the 2nd online relationship, everything seemed like it was meant to be to the point where it was uncanny. I now perceive the whole thing as fate's way of playing a sick joke on a hopeless romantic. In the end, I think she and I broke up merely because we weren't compatible, but I also know I should've dealt with some of the things more calmly as well.

And the current one... Well, it's completely different. It's much more relaxed. We both feel we were meant to cross paths, but we haven't actually concluded we're meant to be. Because it's an online thing, we're trying to take things slowly, but without our natural feelings being suppressed in doing so.

 

Back to the original topic... Sounds like everything is going well, girlsaregamers2. It's always great to hear about the positive first time sex stories. It also sounds like communication DURING sex is great between you two. I believe it's a very important aspect of any loving(and also sexual) relationship.

Of course, right now I'm talking like I'm totally experienced, but I'm actually a virgin myself, LOL. xD Long story, but let's just say I want to make sure the experience is special for both parties. My current SO is a virgin, too. From what she's told me, though, she has a toy or two and is used to penetration. And I'm really not a big guy at all, so chances are she won't feel pain when we make love for the first time. We talk about making it special and romantic. Some people might say you should be realistic about these things, but really there's nothing wrong with being somewhat idealistic about losing your "v-card" in my opinion. After all, no one likes remembering an experience that was unpleasant.

 

Oi carumba, That made me pull a face like I'm trying to pass a kidney stone

 

High Five to that!

While I'm not a virgin I don't knock those who are idealistic about their v-card. The fact that you met a girl who also has her v-card and sounds like she has similar views on the subject, just proves fate gives you what you want if you are patient and assertive enough.

---

Seems like girlsaregamers2, is having a good time seeing as she hasn't come back to check in on us to tell us in a few days.

 

Yes, it was, and still is, absolutely incredible. We're sticking mostly to face-to-face positions for now, it's hard to read someone's lips if they aren't looking at me, and eye contact during sex is super intense. Though sex while spooning is super intense too. He's great at communicating with me, in and out of bed (floor, shower, etc lol), he and I just have this thing together, where communication just comes easily. I think communication is the most important part of any relationship.

 

LOL...sorry. Yeah, things are great!! Just don't have a whole lot of time with him really until I have to send him back for awhile, so I've been spending most of my time with him.

 

Something happened when I was much younger that I'm not going to talk about, which made me unable to feel safe with men who were not my Father. Until I met Josh.

Better?

Don't make me send you back to the jungle, monkey.

There's no Internet in the jungle.

;-P

 

No problem, I don't blame you one bit. I'd be doing the same thing if I were in your shoes.

Unrelated, I have to ask, do you know American sign language or do you depend on lipreading?

As far as I know, your the first hipforums member to shed some light on what sex is like with a partner who is deaf. It's a perspective I don't think these forums have heard before.

Is Josh also part of the deaf community in some way or a CODA (Child of a deaf adult)?

 

No but they have fun and games, theyve got everything you want, as long as you know the name, they have the people that you want that will find what you need and if you got the money honey, they got your disease


( Google Axl if that refernce was too old skool)

 

I'm actually the first deaf person he's met. I sign, but mostly lip read. I can speak a little, but a lot of people have trouble understanding me, so I normally don't. Apparently I'm a screamer though LOL.

He wants to learn all about my "world" and how I interact with the hearing, he likes learning sign language. I'm also teaching him to lip read, but it's not nearly as easy as teaching him sign lol. I've been lipreading for so long I really don't know how to teach him that though. He's the only guy I've known who's wanted to know everything about me, and how I live. It's really pretty awesome.

It's going to really suck having to send him back, I want to have as much time with him as possible, since I'm not going to see him again until Christmas at least.

Without a frame of reference, I really can't say what sex is like for me, as opposed to someone who can hear. Josh says I'm much more animated than any girl he's been with. I really can't be still, I have to move. I'm not sure whether that has anything to do with my lack of hearing or not though.

 

Haha.

Yep, went right over my head lol. It's a neat song though, I've checked them out and like their stuff.

 

Thanks man!

Yes, she and I are definitely on the same page about a lot of things. We have our differences but that's really no big deal at all as we respect each other as individuals.
I suppose it's fate, and any "older virgins" our there who are actually bitter about their sustained virginity shouldn't give up hope! Well, there's no guarantee this girl and I will actually have sex, but it's really not about that. It's really about meeting someone who clicks with you. It's about believing in the mutual bond and pursuing that relationship. I mean, that's what I think anyway.

I was actually not aware of your hearing problem until just now... Anyway, it sounds like everything's going super well! I wish the first time for my girl and me would be as good as yours. We won't know until next year, but let's hope we'll last until then!

I think he's a keeper because, for one thing, he's into you... BUT, he's also interested in everything about you. That's a VERY good sign in my opinion. It shows he's really into YOU, and not just after sex. It's like me wanting to know what my SO ate for dinner tonight, for example, lol. xD

After he goes back, make full use of the internet! That's what my SO and I do, lol.

You know, it sounds like you enjoy making love to him. I think that's all you need to be aware of. I mean, people like to compare things but it's not a necessity. Your lack of hearing may, or may not, make your overall natural reactions a little more "animated", but that's a pretty cool thing if you ask me. You have the ability to express these feelings as you experience them without exaggerating, or suppressing them. That's great in my opinion.

 

Possibly it could because the brain seeks out a certain level of stimulation input and to create a certain amount of output.

It's possible that because you don't hear, your sense of touch, taste, are heightened because that's the neuro-feedback your brain gets to process.

Hence the more you move: the more friction you feel the more stimulation you your brain has to play with.

 

That makes sense. I hadn't really ever explored that in much detail, but it seems right to me!

 

I try not to bring it up, even though it's a part of who I am, I really don't like bringing attention to it. It doesn't detract from the quality of my life, and often adds to it in subtle ways. I don't emphasize it, because I don't like when other people do it.

I really do love him. I had to fight myself pretty hard to just let that be what it is, it seems a lot of people would say "oh, that's too soon, there's no way", and you tend to believe that, you know? I do though, I can't explain how I know, or say exactly when I first knew, I just know. I don't tell him, I'd much rather show him, and he's exactly the same with me. Learning about one another is so much fun and rewarding.

Trust that we will LOL!! I'm so not going without that, just because he isn't here in person.

Sex with him is beyond description, I love making love with him, as well as the crazy monkey sex that I'm learning I really love too. I love lying in his arms exhausted afterwards, he's got these really big arms that envelope me. And he's so attentive afterwards, making sure he didn't hurt me or anything if he got too aggressive or something, and just being ten tons of sweet about everything.

He's like that all the time, he even wants me with him when he's out with friends, he's said that since we've been together, being out isn't as much fun if I'm not there. That's good for me too though, in that it gives me practice interacting with people, when before I just stayed home and played games or just did stuff online. I'm teaching him about my world and he shows me his, and it's awesome.

 

A couple of things to mention:

Took me a while to work out that the eye thing just doesnt work on the straight guys at all, doesnt even work on most gay guys only cetain types, in the way you mean. They just dont get it, dont undestand why its so important. When you lock eyes like that what happens inside your head is very different to what happens in their head, a different set of complex chemical chains get fired into different places. They just dont get it, they just think its some fuzzy wuzzy connection thing, or do it cos thats what you always want, they dont get what it actually does to you

You have to be careful with that kind of stuff. Say something like that and most will go quiet, not press you on it, but still form assumptions, which they will then pidgeon hole you with for the rest of the time they know you.

Best to just keep it just for people that are actually there to help you though it, counsellors, a trusted life long friend etc

It was very vague, I dont know what you are talking about, but I do know what you aren't talking about. Something happened that made you mistrust men i.e adult males, but you father at the time was and still is an adult male. So it wasnt something that made you by default mistrust him, so then we can rule out a few things.

Even though you think you didnt really say anything, its enough fo some guys to more easily take advantage of you. Along the lines of , ok, If I want to get in her pants, keep it always straight in her eyes, mimic her dad and share stories about how you both dont trust guys. Which isnt really any big secret, its how most of you work . But not me, dont shoot the messenger, I'm just saying

 

Yeah, I think that's really cool. When two people are meant to love each other, I don't think the third party can decide it's "too soon" or "too late". You can only follow your heart and trust your instinct rather than what has been decided by society. I believe you when you say you love him. You're right; sometimes you just know. You and your SO don't have to tell each other that until you know the time is right. My SO and I haven't quite told each other that for the same reason basically.

That's awesome. He's into after-sex communication which is fantastic. Some men simply roll over and doze off after sex, which tends to make their partners feel somewhat neglected.

This is VERY important, and once again fantastic in your case. Sometimes we hear about people whose concern is that their romantic partners don't include them while being out with friends. Your guy actually wants you there when he's with his friends. This is really good. I'm glad you two are happy with each other.

 

He's asked me about it, what sets me off about eye contact. He doesn't get it, but understands it's something I need. It's something I really can't explain. I know why I need that, but don't know how to articulate it. It's neat that it makes sense to you, and you get it.

He doesn't know, I know how he'll react, and getting him all upset and mad about it won't change anything. What's done can't be undone. Eventually I'll tell him, but I just think it would be best not to talk about it with him. Not now anyway.

No, it wasn't Daddy.

My therapist said that exact same thing when I first talked about dating a few years ago. So I really don't talk about it. Only very vaguely, and only with certain people.

I'm not going to shoot you, monkey. I like you. You're a smart one, like Rafiki.

 

Love is a verb. It's action. Anyone can say they love someone, but truly showing it all the time, even when you may not feel like it, is a different thing altogether.

My roomie has told me about this, and her men. How they seem to go into a coma after sex. Afterwards my body is tired, but my mind if bouncing off the walls, Josh is like that too, so we just cuddle and talk, or watch a movie or whatever.

I love being out with him, we all have fun together, and his friends are fun. A little crazy, but fun. His friends are really good people. They're all pulling me out of my shell a little, and out of my comfort zone, which is good for me, and I like it. I still prefer being at home with him though, watching movies or playing games, or just whatever.

 

I don't know what Vanilla is saying about guy's not understanding eye contact during sex.

Maybe I'm just weird, but I'm a guy and I find that eye contact makes sex more personal and can intensify the actual orgasm for both parties.