My wife pisses me off!

Once, a very wise man told me the secret was for each partner feeling s/he has the better end of the the relationship and desiring and working to make things better for their partner and trying to create an equilibrium in the relationship. I believe it. I have seen it on rare occasions with a very few couples I know.

I try with my wife, but she discards my appreciations for her as disingenuous and she does not believe that I am attempting to make things better for her. She thinks that she is better than me and that she should have someone better. I do not know what to do!

If you have what I have described, please nourish it and live a happy life!

 

Well, you chose her and you married her.

 

People change. For example, my wife did a 180 turnaround after the marriage.

 

Sorry to hear, sojourner.
Similar to the old joke, the wife at the altar says, "I will."
And in her mind says, "I will never suck his dick again."

 

I don't agree with that at all. I couldn't live with someone, who constantly annoyed me.

Three very good posts.

 

It is what it is. Fools rush in where angels fear to tread!

 

Guess you didn't know her as well as you thought you did .

 

There's no guessing there. You are absolutely correct! She recently told me that she is physically turned off by me. I asked when that happened, as I weigh less than I did the day I married her. She told me before our wedding. What! All of the, what I thought was awesome and fulfilling for both of us, sex was just her doing what I liked and pretending to like it just to get hitched and financially provided for.

That took the wind out of my sails. I told her it was unfair to both her and me to marry me if she wasn't into me. Her flippant response was that she invested too much time on me to not marry me and get a family from me (children). Well, I am trying my best and staying because of my young son. I just cannot fathom losing full time access to him! I am trying to make the best and hope she turns around. Although, we all know that hope is not a good strategy.

Both partners have to be into making the marriage work to have a shot at success. I have found out that, no matter what I do, I cannot make someone else be into me/love me/work to improve a relationship with me.

I am disappointed. Beyond pissed off, because pissed off implies there is emotional connection and just some specific behavior(s) that is upsetting. Disappointed is my reluctant resignation that I have lost the "relationship" I thought I had. Almost mourning, but not quite ready to throw in the towel.

I commented hoping that those that may not have it great, but good, can think that it can always be worse. And maybe up their game in improving their relationship with their spouse. And to not sweat the petty things if the rest of their relationship is generally good.

Peace.

 

I've been married 37 yrs now. I'm as madly in love with him now as I was the day I first laid eyes on him. I know how lucky I am !

 

Good to hear that.

 

I get peed off to when my wife is given a simple thing to do or to solve a simple problem sometimes & has to spend ages thinking about doing it.

 

Not to be difficult, but who has the right to give her a ask to accomplish? Tha assumes that you have authority over her,

 

Sometimes when she needs to do something that is as easy as, she tends to make it sound or make it look too challenging & that's what pees me off a lot. Even asking her to touch my penis at times is too much to ask.
Possibly hates the thought of me ejaculating on her hands.
I have told her a few times what it would be like if I didn't touch her body at all.

 

My misses is like that too. All her sisters are the same. All really book smart but fuck I've nearly blown my brains out watching them with street smarts. When they're all together just forget about it. I just hide out near the others boyfriends murmuring discouraging comments to one another. It's so frustrating at times I just get angry. And nothing is ever simple when they're together and they talk over one another. Leaves the bfs standing 50 meters away looking like 0.0
4 sisters.... Yeah, nah. I wouldn't want to fuck that.

 

It sounds like it is challenging because she does NOT want to do that. If I in any way ask my wife to do something sexually that will feel good for me, e.g., touch my penis, I get the incredulous response, "why would I want to do that? That doesn't do anything for me." At least I get to give her oral until she cums and masturbate using her armpit (and she still complains that it is tiring just sitting there). I'm pathetic. It is what it is.

 

Sounds like you like the abuse

 

Not at all! Children come into the mix and are a heavy weight when weighing relationship decisions.

 

Have you figured out what to do yet?

My wife wants everything but doesnt want to put time and effort to actually make things work. Swear I get minimum effort from her. SMH

 

Not yet. L

 

Soj',

Not to be difficult, but who has the right to give her a ask to accomplish? Tha assumes that you have authority over her,"
I doesn't assume that at all NZ is merely making an observation on the behaviour of his wife, cause and effect.

You imply authority is related to the situation and the task?
In reality problems with authority are side issues such as getting your back up when asked to do something or getting the hump.

Life is short in relationships we need to put the shitt aside and just do it, otherwise it wastes time and we get nothing done, except frustration and we then do it ourself.

Being competent and doing something well is something worthwhile?