Hi guys, this is my first post here and I'm on the verge of tears (yet again) as I'm writing this. I'm 19 and gay and a guy and have never done anything with anyone and I've only stopped denying being gay a few months ago, so I'm still adjusting to that. Amongst other things, I missed the memo that it's okay to want sex or talk about it, which is why I'm incredibly anxious about the topic. But the thing that freaks me out is that now I think I'm asexual, which I really don't think I am, but it still keeps me awake at night. I mean I've experienced sexual attraction in the past, I've always enjoyed porn, I've found actors to be hot and all that stuff, but ever since I started accepting the fact that I'm gay, everything feels a bit... I don't know how to describe it, but now whenever I masturbate there's always at least a small amount of fear that 'who are you kidding', you know? It's gotten to the point where I think I'm kind of dreading it just because of the fear and guilt... And also, I hate my body, so it's actually incredibly hard to imagine having sex for real, not to mention it kind of scares me. And I also have this notion of having to meet some daily quota of sexual thoughts and if I don't reach it, that's because I'm asexual. And so I try to think about having sex with every good looking guy I see and when I don't get hard I just panic and there's more fear and it's kind of a vicious circle and it's exhausting. Um, there's probably more that I wanted to say, but I forgot and I don't have the patience to try and remember... but can anyone please talk some sense into me? I literally didn't sleep last night because of this..
The reason you are feeling like you are is because you don't value yourself. Love and accept yourself as you are then you be back to normal
Yep thats all. Because i felt like this too, i didnt like my body etc. but since i have been exercising and stuff i feel so much confident about my body and myself too.
This isn't a sexual orientation thing, this is a self-esteem issue, over-analyzing yourself issue, that could be causing you depression as well. Chill dude, most people in the 21st Century don't care about someone's sexual orientation as long as that individual is respectful to others and isn't in other people's faces with it to the point of harassment. Sure religion has it's piece to say about it, and that is their right. Listen to that group or don't if a particular faith isn't your thing. You have to choose, and they shouldn't push things in your face if you've chosen not to follow that faith. Still most common folks just don't care just find your click of people learn about online dating for the LGBT community and accept yourself. Just live while you are here.
Faelixx is absolutely correct. Just stop worrying about it. I know it's easier said than done, but you'll come into your own in time. "Go with the flow" so-to-speak. I also agree that there could be an esteem issue going on. Take care of yourself, be happy, and stop worrying. Everything will be just fine. You'll know when you're ready for anything.
I don't see anything wrong with being asexual. Not working out, on the other hand, might be. If I were you, I'd start taking 1:30-2-hour long walks today.
You are going through something life changing!!! It's gonna mess with your head and body for a while. There's no pressure, no rush. You are putting a huge expectation on yourself. Take time, get comfortable in your skin. It'll be ok.
