The List

I had this dream last night that God, with a capital "G", had distributed a list to everyone in the world that itemized the things that they needed to do to get into heaven.

It was a very complete list and everyone was running around with 8 1/2 by 11 inch sheets of paper containing their list. For some reason the paper was sometimes white and sometimes green. Some people had multiple pages of green and white paper.

As I was watching the crowd, I suddenly realized how great this all was for the professional comedians. I could envision Conan O'Brien and Jay Leno making jokes about what was on famous peoples lists. People like Kim Jong Il and Donald Trump. Some of the jokes were pretty funny...but I can't remember them now.

So as you accomplished whatever you needed to do, you would cross it off of your list and proceed to the next item. I was planning on using a pen or magic marker so no one could erase my accomplishments after I accomplished them.

Then I started to think, how will I know if the list is a genuine list?
It came to me that if God just wrote these things out, how would I know that someone hadn't added a few to the bottom when I wasn't looking?
Like "fix the front doorknob", or "the bathroom faucet is leaking, better get on that one".
You see I was beginning to suspect that my wife's handwriting was very similar to Gods! So how would I know the difference, especially without my glasses?

So I woke up in a sweat, visualizing page after page of things I'd need to do, a virtual purgatory of a never ending list.

But it was all mote, as upon wakening it appears that I've lost my list anyway.
However, I did notice that one has appeared on the refrigerator door, and it looks legit.