I am in a relationship with a wonderful woman. She is intelligent, beautiful, and hard-working and is an amazing mother to my children from a previous relationship. We have been together for almost a year and I am starting to get the feeling that I am missing part of the puzzle somewhere. My mother took the kids for a couple weeks to give us some time off. I was so excited to have her to myself for a little while. She is a bit timid sexually when the kids are home, so I thought it would be a great time to relax and recover from the past few weeks while they have been out of school and driving us nuts. The second or third day we were home she started her monthly and it was much earlier than expected. I understand that she isn't in the mood during that time so I contented myself with cuddling and watching movies together. We went to see a scary movie, went to karaoke, and when she finished her period, I hoped for some sweet love-making to follow. I tend to have a more active sex drive than she does and it has been joked about a lot. I eventually got embarrassed about it and have tried to "behave" myself and not flirt or push too much. We are both victims of child rape and sometimes I feel like m touch is unwelcome. I never want to make her uncomfortable or scare her, so I try not to do anything that would do that. Ideally, I would like to make love at least once or twice a week. She can go for weeks at a time without really needing it. We have had no kids for a week and a half and I leave town tomorrow for a family wedding and will not see her again for about a week. Night before last, she started playing around and I made love to her but then something happened and we ended up just going to sleep. Last night I finally asked her to please make love to me and told her that I needed her and was feeling vulnerable and confused. She started going through the motions but it was made very obvious that she was just not into it. I stopped and backed off, then I asked her if I had done anything wrong. She said she just has hormone problems and her period had her body all messed up. She says she loves me and that I should know that because she hugs me and cuddles me or pulls me close sometimes when I walk by, and that is nice and I do love that about her. My body has needs though and when she doesn't want to have sex for weeks at a time, especially when I am literally saying " I am begging you just to make love to me." , I feel like I am not enough for her or am not attractive to her. Cuddling is nice, but I want to feel wanted. She is a very passionate person and I get to hear all the stories about how passionate she was with this ex or that one. We used to have that too. I just want it back. What do I do?
No, although I think it would be nice, we cannot afford it. Besides, as a social work major, she knows just about anything a counselor would say. She will one day be a private counselor.
I don't think you need therapy. How about doing something exciting in the bedroom, like strawberries and chocolate, nice body massage, maybe that will be an easier way to get more intimate.
