My girlfriend and I have been dating for 3 years. Were very close and get along even though we annoy each other a good amount. It's a healthy relationship I would say. The main issue I have is that she does not want to have sex very often. When we moved in together we kind of agreed that we were going to try and do sex stuff (regular or oral) about 3-4 times a week. We very rarely have sex two days in a row, never have sex twice in one night. On occasion we will have sex 3 times a week, but for the past half year we pretty much have sex maybe once a week. Sometimes we have sex once a month. I can't seem to get her interested and sex seems to be on her schedule which annoys me, she never wants to when I want to. Is there a way to get her to be more open minded? She says she is sore, which is legitimate because she is smaller than me by a good amount, but once a week, and sometimes only blowjobs once a week or two weeks just wont do it for me. Advice?
Have you asked her why it's the case? Has she gained weight? Does she have a lot of stress? Any meds or bc? Has it always been this low? She needs to go to the doctor and get her levels checked. There is a good change her estrogen or testosterone levels are low.
I would say I can be very romantic. We have both gained some weight over the past year, but when we first got together we were very fit, we have just never had a lot of sex. I have tried for a couple years to be very accomodating, but we used to do long distance and sometimes I wouldn't see her for two weeks and when we finally got together she wouldn't even want to have sex. So it's very confusing and a little too low for me.
Then like I said have her go to the doctor. Her sex drive will likely never get higher without it. Best to nip this stuff in the bud fast as it can turn into resentment.
Men , for health reasons. Need to ejaculate at least once daily. When starting a relationship , this need should be discussed before establishing sexual compatibility.
I agree on the compatibility aspect, or the lack thereof in the case of the OP and his partner where the sexual side of things are concerned. BUT, we as men do NOT necessarily NEED to ejaculate once daily. It is good for the health but not a requirement as far as I know. If it was such a dire need, then one could always masturbate. Sex with a partner, in my opinion, should mean much more than simply a means to orgasm, for health reasons or otherwise. OP - Aside from what FireWitch has suggested which is for her to get her hormonal side of things checked out, what you SHOULD HAVE established at a very early stage of your relationship was to lay it all out in the open in terms of your sexual need. This is something Riptide has mentioned above as well. From the way you describe your situation, it really doesn't sound like you two are on the same page where the sexual desire aspect is concerned. So it really comes down to whether you masturbate more and seek sex less, or she becomes more sexually eager and assertive. The third option is to end your relationship with her right now, and find someone who could actually accommodate your sexual needs. But I'd rather not recommend that last option unless all other options fail. Good luck.
