I want to get back together!

What does he like the most?

 

Sorry, I don't know what you mean exactly. What he likes about me? What he likes doing? Or what?

 

Best advice, if you really want something, give up .

Not to be mean, but whats that? the motto of your community college?

 

Well I really think you need to respect that and back off a bit. Give him space and give him the time he needs. If you jump back together too soon, there's still going to be some resentment on his part. You say you've realized the awful person you were being and have changed and want to show him you've changed. Part of that is going to require you putting your own wants and needs aside for awhile and understanding he'll come around when he's ready. You can still keep in touch, but drop the relationship subject for a bit. You've made your regrets and feelings known, now you have to give him time to think it all over. Don't dwell on it, when he's ready, he'll come to you.

 

That makes a lot of sense. Thank you!

 

So what were you asking?

 

i partially agree with our kinky yellow bud, but i dont believe in passive behavior.

You have to think of it as a new beginning, and make him think the same... drop all the "signing contract" crap and put some nice memories in his head...and when i say nice memories, don't even think to talk about your past together. If u really were that terrible all hell do is link them to the next stuff u pulled. Make some new memories... This is what i meant....

....theres always the unicorn farting rainbows backup plan though.

 

Yeah, ok, I'll try making some new nice memories via SMS for now.. Until he's ready for face to face or at least phone memories...Thanks

 

The first one needs to be face 2 face, and u have to figure a way how, just dont show up uninvited. I could guide you, but thats just gonna be me getting back together with him ))

 

Pushing has never worked for me. If he doesn't even want to talk about a relationship right now, she will just push him away if she keeps at it. He needs time, she needs to respect that. That doesn't mean just leave him to himself and completely cut contact and just let him come back if he feels like it, but it does mean respecting his desire to remain "just friends" for the time being. You're passing off everyone telling her to ease off the relationship as "passiveness," but sometimes people need a little breathing room. They can certainly make more memories together as friends. He can definitely realize what he could be missing out on if the relationship topic is dropped for a bit. Nobody enjoys being pressured. Your advice is just as valuable as anyone else's, in fact, I see it as awesome combined with my own, but the passive approach isn't always a bad thing.

 

One thing that bothers me a bit about this situation, Pip, is that you've now realized your mistake and have been doing all you can to make the situation better, yet he can't even communicate with you in regards to your relationship. That, to me, suggests he's being rather selfish and immature himself. You might have treated him badly before, but you are now saying you want to fix things. I think that's cool, and if he's still friends with you then he should honour your gesture and be open about his feelings, too.

Perhaps your next step is to GENTLY steer him in the direction where he will be comfortable talking about the two of you, the past, the present, the future.....? Communication definitely is important. He might not be ready to fully open up yet, HOWEVER, he still should make sure you understand that in my opinion. I suppose the challenge now is how to make him more comfortable talking about your relationship. Based on the impression that I've gotten so far, you may need to continue being patient with him. Like I said, be gentle if/when you want to steer him toward the relationship talk territory.

Remember that for a relationship to work, both parties need to be on the SAME page. Friendships ditto, and if you two aren't really on the same page right now even as friends, then you know you both need to get there. And since he's been showing reluctance to discuss certain important matters, you need to stay patient but also eventually get to the answer(s) as to why he has been acting the way he has been when he must know that he's been keeping you hanging.

Good luck.

 

Thank you, well right now i want him and he probably resents me, so no, we are not on the same page, and i feel i will have to be very patient...
I'll keep your advice in mind, thanks!

 

pipgirl has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space.

 

)))))))))

 

You're welcome. Hope all works out one way or another.