How do you define "Adultery"?

Is Adultery really different from "swinging", "cheating", or "wife-swapping", to mention a few names that are used?

Is it adultery when two couples get together and the men fuck each others' wives while the other is there and can watch what is happening?

Is it adultery when a single man fucks a married woman, whether her husband knows or approves?

Is it adultery when a married man and a married woman, but not to each other, get together and fuck?

Is it adultery when a husband offers his wife to another man to fuck?

Is it adultery when a married man fucks a single woman?

Is it adultery when a single man and a single woman get together and fuck?

Is it adultery when a married man looks at another man's wife and thinks to himself "Boy, would I love to fuck her!"

Is it adultery when a guy spies on another guy's wife and sees her naked?

Any answers?

 

Adultery is when a married man or woman has an affair with another person outside of the marriage without their spouses knowledge or aproval. IMO the affair can be physical and/or emotional. However many people would say that an emotional affair doesn't count.

 

This is how I view it as well! The only difference is I would say people in a relationship and not just married!

 

Bear in mind, the following are all IMHO only. Son of John, you and I have already discussed related topics, so I doubt any my answers will surprise you.

"Cheating" is "adultery" because it implies the activity taking place without either the knowledge or consent (or both) of one partner or the other. The other activities (IMHO) are not adultery.

Not adultery. Everyone involved is engaging in bilateral consenting behavior.

If the husband doesn't know that his wife is fucking other guys (and wouldn't consent if he did), or does know but doesn't consent, then it's adultery. (See the bottom of this post for elaboration.)

If either one of them is doing it without their regular partner's knowledge or consent, it's adultery. Otherwise, it's not.

That one is kind of blurry. I don't think it's adultery in the classic sense, but if the wife does it under duress, it's certainly wrong.

If the married man's wife doesn't know about it or doesn't consent to it, yes. Otherwise no.

No.

No. My wife and I both do that when we spot an attractive person of the opposite. sex.

No, unless it goes beyond that. Then, depending on the circumstances, it may or may not be adultery (see my previous answers.)

In the other thread "Would you fuck a married woman if her husband didn't know about it?", that'd definitely be an act of adultery (at least on the wife's part.) However, I think that the question of "Should the fact that the wife is committing adultery stop the guy from fucking her?" is a topic wide open for discussion. (If I were single and was reasonably certain that the husband would never come after me, I'd definitely go for it!)

 

Well, the term adultery is used to identify extramarital affairs. If the couple aren't married then it's cheating. It's the same thing really, but generally once married cheating is a much bigger deal so it has its own word.

 

In my opinion it's very simple.


If you're married and you sleep with someone else, whether the other partner knows or not or is engaged in the activity as well, it's adultery.

The question becomes is it mutual adultery or is it not mutual, and do you see adultery as a bad thing or not.

 

Adultery has a legal definition x and can carry heavy penalties. Even though it would be okay for me if my husband took other partners, and it is something I encourage for his own sexual and emotional development, if he did have extra-marital sex, and this was proved to his employer in a tribunal, he would be terminated. Regardless ofbour opinions, adultery is illegal. I really wish the government in this country would stop legislating the activities of consenting adults. All cheating is adultery, but not all adultery is cheating.

As for what to call a situation in which a man is spying on a woman... Spying is wrong. I confont peeping toms with violence. Peeping toms statistically escalate to rape or other types of sexual battery, and so all peeping toms should be met with violent confrontation, and prosecuted. If a husband has facilitated the spying, he should e left behind and divorced, and prosecuted as well. A husband is meant to protect his wife! I don't mind being seen naked, or even being watched. Still, if my husband made secret arrangements to have someone spy on me, and I found out, I would leave him, and I'd kick his ass on my way out.

 

Why don't you answer your own questions?

 

Ah, good point. My post was assuming a casual context for the OP's question since no mention of illegality/legality or law in general was specifically stated.


Social issues not involving public safety, and rather are more weighted on social appropriateness are impractical and not cost-effective to enforce should they be drafted in my opinion.

I mean even the temperance movement, and the attempt to make alcohol illegal had to be undone because it was just not what the public wanted.

 

Society has changed, while the classic definition of adultery has not.

Adultery (from Old French adultere “violation of conjugal faith”) is primarily defined as:

"Sexual intercourse by a married person with someone other than their spouse."

Originally, labeling someone as an adulterer or adulteress was meant to convey guilt and shame on that person in the eyes of society. Given relaxed (western) attitudes towards marriage, sex, and relationships in general, I don't believe that the classic definition covers it anymore. Look at how many married people in this forum alone happily share their husbands and wives with other people. Why should it still be considered adultery when all involved are encouraging, enjoying, and accepting of the sexual behavior of everyone present. Conversely, given the classic definition of adultery, it should be impossible to claim that merely exchanging sexually explicit e-mail or instant messages with someone other than your spouse (with or without their permission) is EVER adultery, yet many (most) would consider it to be so. Also, by the classic definition, anyone who is in a defined relationship (longtime boyfriend/girlfriend, living together, etc.) CANNOT commit adultery, because they are not actually married.

If a guy fucks my wife, without my knowledge or consent, by definition, only she is committing adultery. He, OTOH, is exhibiting extremely poor judgement and potentially suicidal behavior! (All he'd have to do to avoid the whole potential issue is just ask first and, of course, give me time to set up my video gear!)

 

Adultery is consensual sex with a partner who isn't your spouse.

I fuck other men and my man knows and agrees with it. The fact he knows doesn't change anything: it is sex outside the marriage. It is adultery.

 

While I agree that your description matches most strict legal definitions, I would suggest that (IMHO) this label may not be the most appropriate in the western world of the 21st century.

Under the entry for "adultery" Wikipedia states (in part):

The application of the term to the act appears to arise from the idea that "criminal intercourse with a married woman ... tended to adulterate the issue [children] of an innocent husband ... and to expose him to support and provide for another man's [children]". Thus, the "purity" of the children of a marriage is corrupted, and the inheritance is altered. The law often uses the word "adulterate[d]" to describe contamination of food and the like.

Thus, the broad selection of reliable modern contraceptive methods available today, when used responsibly, generally obviates the possibility of "adulteration" and, consequently, the need for the term. (BTW, I'm not suggesting that currently available birth control methods are foolproof. That's why I use the qualifier "generally".)

Sometimes, even the avoidance of pregnancy isn't an issue. On another sex thread that I read, one member was all excited because he'd just gotten his wish of another man fucking his wife repeatedly, bareback, during the height of her fertile cycle, and getting her pregnant! (Actually, there's a small possibility that the child is biologically his, but he and his wife went to great lengths to make sure the child was sired by the other man. Take's all kinds, I guess.)

Anyway, I really think the old definition of adultery is dead. The only time it still applies (again, IMHO) is if one member of a committed relationship has sex with someone else, without the knowledge and/or consent of their partner. Period. Full stop. End of story.

 

Every couple needs to reach agreement on how they define it. Other opinions don't matter so much.

 

Yeah, I think if my wife fucks another guy and I am alright with that, it's not adultery. I think if you are going behind your spouse back, then that's adultery. If you and your spouse is ok with that, then everyone else's opinion dosen't matter.

 

Word!

 

Well I'm in the camp of keeping the word's meaning the same, but on an social level (which is what really matters) it just loses the shameful connotations in the case of mutual stuffs.

Overall though, I am convinced that general society isn't into sharing spouses/partners, despite what we see posted on these forums.

 

I think you're almost certainly correct about general society vs. places like these forums. Still, I think that using the term among people like those (of us) in the forums is a lame attempt to shame folks about something that none of them thinks is wrong. In those situations, all the rest should simply mind their own business!

 

No doubt.

 

monkjr is right that wife-sharing is not a society-wide phenomenon. And the folks who post on these sites are a very small minority of the over-all population.

But does that make us bad or wrong? Every one has a perspective on this!

The important thing, for those who visit this site, is that wife-sharing, in some way or another, has impacted their lives, and they are trying to find a way to cope with it without going crazy and doing something destructive.

 

Gads I hate the term 'wife-sharing'. Unless the husband and wife are going for a misogynistic vibe, the term is 'swinging'

Adultery is defined by your partner. Nobody else's definition matters.