Why Do People Get Married?

The reasons are as varied as for those who are in a committed relationship but do not desire to get married.

It is far easier to get married than to stay married.

 

Love. An excuse to have an awesome party. Tax benefits.

 

Hormones.....;-)

 

This

 

Well even if you don’t marry him, you could at least give him a kiss to let him know you care :love:

Hotwater

 

If I ever get married its mainly going to be for the wedding. I can be a girly girl sometimes so I want to wear the dress and I love to have a good time so i want the reception and subsequent honeymoon. Maybe I'll do what kinky ramona did and forgo the legal paperwork.

I suppose when we're older and wiser we may marry for legal benefits. For now the wedding is really the only motivating factors and its not much motivation, so unmarried we shall stay.

I think most people get married for tradition, whether religious or just because their parents taught them its the right thing to do/the right order of things.

 

I don't know why I really fancy the idea of marriage right now. I don't think it is anything that was mentioned, so far....well love, but something more than that, something I can't personally explain.

In my long-term relationship(past) we did the ceremony without the legality. I think the thing about marriage, is that hopefully you know exactly what the other person thinks your relationship is worth. Or at least, that's what I hope to get out of it. I think the first time, I thought we were on the same page, of working through everything, communicating, being a team, mutual respect, etc. and I was wrong about that. I think the weight of the legal terms is a sort of pact that even in tribal times, before the legal system, would have been supported by a community of people all living together, respecting and checking that the pact is not broken.

In some ways I think maybe I'm reading too much into it, but I see it is as something deeper than the legal stuff, but I am interested in the culturally acceptable form at this time, when I was not before. I think part of it was that I was intentionally a rebel in every way imaginable and now I am learning to appreciate some of the traditions that represent something sacred and secure in the family unit...and I think of any community as a family.

Maybe I'm building this up in my head...but I'm sure it's nothing to do with my family or friends accepting me, or some idea that I'm getting older, I crave the idea of a teammate though, a partner in crime, someone who understands me completely and vice versa and also someone who fully respects and SHARES my desires in terms of parenting/family/legacy.

And yet...I'm really satisfied with watching other people from a distance and just learning, because these feelings are new to me and I feel I am not actually capable of giving the time and energy to that kind of "happy ending" right now. I am really fascinated by happily married people though. Especially people who've been together a very long time.

Also, I don't think I'd want the wedding.

 

these are good ones.

also, I think marriage gives people the idea that the commitment is actually real. Despite divorce rates, people think getting legally married will keep them together. the divorce process sucks, I hear.

 

:smilielol5:

 

this!

 

I see marriage as strictly religious.

Not only in the sense that it is a religious ritual, no matter how much people try to make it into a secular state bureaucratic matter or an overpriced party. Or even a Hallmark glamor moment. Or even financial planning ("marrying up", "marrying stable", "marrying a keeper", etc.).

But, I think marriage is religious in the sense that religion is basically a tool for people to derive false comfort and stability in an unpredictable, shifting, topsy turvy world.

 

Well, neither my wife nor I are religious in any sense, and our ceremony had absolutely no references to god or anything remotely religious. We got married basically so that we could have a big party and take advantage of tax benefits, allowing me to use her education tax credits on my own taxes, essentially saving us a few thousand dollars/year for several years.

 

In my case, there's a shelf life on how long I can hang around with some guy having fun; birding, hiking, jitterbug dancing, going to art museums, dancing, traveling, dancing, jamming on many instruments, dancing. Eventually I have to fish or cut bait and the guy lets me know I must choose...
WILL I MARRY HIM OR NOT???
By then, I couldn't dump my dancin', hikin' buddy, so I would marry the guy (after about a year of his bugging me). I always felt guilty and pressured into doing something I didn't want to do.
Afterward, I loved being married, but now I'm perfectly happy single. I'm glad the guys were so insistent, though, or I'd never have had my gorgeous kids. Or bothered to do anything with my life but work and play.
No more guys in my life, so I'm back to working and playing.
Besides, I'm not even sure of my orientation.

 

'Married in haste we may repent at leisure' - Samuel Pepys.

 

i married my husband because i just love him so much i want to spend forever with him. we're soulmates; the universe created us from the same piece of stardust

 

that is nice and that is how it should be

 

Another way of putting it:

Marriage is like baptism. It tells us nothing about a relationship; it is no guarantor of faithfulness, it is no guarantor of longevity, it is no guarantor of happiness. Just like baptism is no guarantor of virtue.

You got married because you found your soulmate? Guess what? You could have had the exact same relationship without all the religious props, finery, and legal intervention.

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If you're one of those people who got married and think baptism is silly, I got news for you.

 

I don't think anyone is making the argument that it improves their relationship.

 

You're kind of annoying.

Sorry.

 

Where is the news? I only see another persons opinion.