Should I Ditch this Loser?

Discussion in 'Free Love' started by TheSamantha, Jan 13, 2014.

  1. TheSamantha

    TheSamantha Member

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    I have a fwb. He's 48. He's separated. He lives alone. His "wife" was horribly abusive and really broke his spirits. He cried about it so I believe him.

    He's boring and not that attractive. I have lost interest in him. Plus he wants anal and he's too big.

    He made me promise never to leave him and said he I ever do he's coming to get me back. But it has been three years and he hasn't gotten a divorce. Says he's waiting on a check for 50k.

    He has been there for me in the past. Saved me from suicide. Paid my celly for a year. Cooked three meals for me, bathed me, gave me advice, cleaned up my vomit, and lectured me and scolded me. Slapped me around when I deserved it which I was into.

    He has been called a ****** 15 times but doesn't have a chip on his shoulder. He can't catch a cab but he deals with it. Still likes whitey. Allowed me to learn to love the DC area, the underbelly, the slave underclass. They're humans who are capable of family and love. Very refreshing.

    He's a legal assistant. I thought that was a respectable job like an admin, typing, filing, faxing, phones, letters, errands, etc. Nope, it's basically chimpanzee work. Coffee, photocopies. I feel like I don't respect him.

    What do you think I should do?
     
  2. Wizardofodd

    Wizardofodd Senior Member

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    Trying to get someone to promise they will never leave you= no longer fwb in his mind.
     
  3. YouFreeMe

    YouFreeMe Visitor

    He has done all of that stuff for you, what have you done for him?

    If you have done your fair share for him, it's not like you are using him or anything: give and take is not something that should effect your decision to leave or stay. It's normal human behavior and I'm not sure what it has to do with your ultimate decision.

    Do what you want. What makes him a loser? You make him seem like a decent man. Is it because he is "boring"? What does boring mean to you?

    From your description, you should probably leave him. If you aren't attracted to him anymore, there is no reason to lead him on and stay.
     
  4. usedtobehoney

    usedtobehoney Senior Member

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    Sounds like a co-dependent relationship rather than fwb.
     
  5. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

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    From the sound of it, he should ditch you.
     
  6. deleted

    deleted Visitor

    Lol tags ^..
     
  7. usedtobehoney

    usedtobehoney Senior Member

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    Yeah. Why call him a loser. It sucks he made you promise ... but you did it so...
     
  8. RainyDayHype

    RainyDayHype flower power Lifetime Supporter

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    If he's just a fwb and not someone you're invested in and love and you find him boring and not attractive then why would you stay?
    He sounds possessive. I think you should leave. I hope he doesn't make that a difficult process for you..
     
  9. fraggle_rock

    fraggle_rock Member

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    I think you should probably leave him.
    For his sake.
     
  10. Vanilla Gorilla

    Vanilla Gorilla Go Ape

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    Oi, what job isnt chimpanzee work?

    Even if you dated a neurosurgeon, you'd still just end up working out thats really just the same as what a car mechanic does, just on the brain. a little more complex, but not really by as much as one would think. And even if more complex, once you do something 100 times it all ends up repetitive, and you'd get sick of hearing about all the tumours he's worked on.


    Still, you've said you arent attracted to this guy, and have listed a bunch of stuff he does for you. This is preferable to a guy thats going to make you go cross eyed if he takes his shirt off...but will never pay your phone bill for a year. Why is that exactly?

    Go for the ones you are not attracted to so you can get more stuff from them, but then complain you are sexually frustrated and act like its a big mystery as to why?
     
  11. Ice_Cool

    Ice_Cool Member

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    Why leave him? and what is wrong with a coffee or tea boy job or whatever?!! A job is a job and ALL jobs are equally important.
     
  12. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    yeah, that's just not true..
     
  13. usedtobehoney

    usedtobehoney Senior Member

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    All jobs are equally jobs though. I mean damn, having a job is pretty fucking awesome these days. Why judge them? A job doesn't make a person good or bad. People with "awesome" jobs can be awesome dickss and people with crappy jobs can be awesome...opposite of dicks...pussies?
     
  14. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    that's absolutely true. you just can't say that saving lives is exactly as important as dumping potatoes into a deep fryer.
     
  15. usedtobehoney

    usedtobehoney Senior Member

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    Yeah but getting off on saving lives like it's a video game vs. getting off on dumping potatoes in a fryer is infinitely incomparable. The job doesn't make the person.
     
  16. enhancer13

    enhancer13 Senior Member

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    Ya never heard of a fwb that makes you promise to never leave him! Op you say you don't respect him for the job he has. What is your job that makes you feel like you are better then him?
     
  17. YouFreeMe

    YouFreeMe Visitor

    Are you kidding? If those people weren't there to dump potatoes into a deep fryer, people would be healthier and need less doctors.
     
  18. TheSamantha

    TheSamantha Member

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    Hi gang,

    Sorry, I should never have called him a loser. He's by no means a loser. He's a wonderful man. I was influenced by my conformist friend who is trying to convince me to "grow up" and go monogamous so I don't pick up an STD. He keeps saying "you need to dump those losers. They're beneath you." Who cares what school I went to or my family, who am I to call anyone a loser?
     
  19. I'minmyunderwear

    I'minmyunderwear Newbie

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    "he?" so it's your friendzone buddy who has wanted you forever and never understood why he's the one guy who doesn't get a shot? no wonder he's talking shit and trying to get you to break up.
     
  20. TheSamantha

    TheSamantha Member

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    He got pussy. Shouldn't he be satisfied with that? He also got the butt last night.

    I also buy him things at times. I spent 50 bucks on him last night.
     

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