Can't forgive cheating

Yeah. For me, I forgave relatively easily. I mean I felt like I was in the eye of a hurricane for a few weeks, like all day, every day, but then...I was over it...I'm not sure that was the best decision though. At this point in my life(that was years ago) I'm pretty sure I would just leave. It really depends on who is on the other side of it and if you can trust that person, I think.

 

That hurricane is what screws people over and makes them make bad decisions. I was right there myself. But you made a good point....after it was over...now things seem clearer.

 

I cheated on my husband early on in our relationship and he suspected something straight away. I was not willing to admit it to him and we argued constantly because he no longer trusted me. Months later, a friend of his told him that he saw me out with another guy. My husband called my bluff, he told me that he rang the guy I was sleeping with and he admitted to it. I fell for it, and finally told my husband the truth. He was so angry that I had lied to him for months and accused him of being paranoid about it all the time.

 

I rarely forgive and Never forget, Having had been cheated upon It was Hard, and even though it was so long ago - more than Anger there was/is sill a residue of Betrayal of feeling that remains

 

You mentioned cheating and counseling. Did the counseling cover WHY she felt the need to cheat? Has SHE dealt with her view on it in a way the makes sure she won't feel that need again, or was it just her admitting she was wrong and seeking forgiveness?

Cheating shows a problem in a relationship, whether it's you not giving her something she's asking for, or her not asking for what she needs, or just plan lack of commitment, it's a problem. When the problem is not addressed and fixed, it just festers. If you know in your heart that the core issue is still there then you haven't made any progress past it and are still at about the same place in the relationship. No progress means there has been no rebuilding of the lost trust from either end.

You can go through all the motions that you like but if the things that made her seek another man have not changed she is or will cheat again, lie to hide it, and leave you worse for the wear. By acting as if everything is fine with each other, you are both lying to hide something you don't want to look at, and that makes justification easy to find for a repeat of history.

 

Great opinions you all have here. You need to consider your health and move on with your life. We were all sinners when Christ came to died for us all. He saved and forgave us our sins. I see no reason why you shouldn't forgive your wife. Six years is a lot of time Brother. The bible says in Matthew 6:14-15 "if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

 

Thanks, but I do not need your scripture or your opinion if you have not been down this road. Save it for Sunday.

 

i understand you... i was in a relationship with a girl for 2.5 year.
I found out she was kissing with other guy , even that i was cheating on her and had sex with other girls (she never found it out ) i could not forgive her and i broke up. Even that i loved her much.

 

if there is no trust then there is no relationship

 

Cant say I would go six years feeling this way. Cheating is a bad thing for me, I think I would be done with it and move on so it wouldnt keep bothering me. Sometimes a new partner you can trust might let it go and could also keep you a much healthier man. To feel this way and be with her this long could be making you sick inside and you might not even know it till something really nasty turns your insides sick.
Take care and do whats needed. She obviously did for herself.
Sorry you have this hanging on to you.

 

Maybe if you had an affair of your own, you could get over here more easily.....

 

Where you stay?

 

in a land called no regret and in the now!~

 

Want some company?

 

So, you still married? Because you know.....revenge just shows so much class and is def. the best way to deal with things.

 

It's in your right to feel and think however you want to feel and think, for as long as you want to feel and think it. It's also your right to express what you feel and think, no matter how it affects the other person and the relationship.

In saying that, personally... I would terminate the relationship because I don't want to feel and think the way you feel and think. I don't want to express that and watch how that affects my partner and our relationship. No amount of love will ever make me feel like it's all worth it.

But, maybe it works for you. Maybe it's worth it for you. It's all up to you and her. You two decide what is right and wrong. What is worth it and not.

Best of luck.

 

You live your live only once.
There are things that can be excused,if she was drunk and did a mistake for example.
But if we talk about your situation its not like this,it wasnt a mistake,she was cheating for 2 months and it was her who made such choise.
I would not try to fix anything in this situation....Divorce and live your live to the fullest.

 

Been through this myself. Either get over it 100% and never bring it up or end the relationship. There cannot be any happiness any other way. It is a form of torture. For both of you. If you are committed to making your relationship work, then you cannot ever (I really mean NEVER) bring it up. You are not going to move forward until you get past it. If that means breaking up, then you have to make that decision or you will torture yourself and her