Likeminded people

Something that I actually find kinda funny is...when I was younger and going to raves three or four times a week and hanging out with a group of 30 or so party kids... I ended up with this world view that was totally off. Meaning I felt, for a while anyway, that everyone was like us... everyone was all about Peace, Love, Happiness and Respect and dancing and everyone must understand our views, right? Cause that was all I ever ran into. Ever. It was so bad that my good friend, Jeremy (who is still one of the three people I list as a close friend near me), once spent over two hours talking to my mom about how rolling is really a great thing and it's not like other drugs and how everyone should try it. My mom is super conservative on social issues... but the funny thing was we believed it so much that she really didn't have anything negative to say and didn't try to stop me from doing those things...
In any case, once I stopped going to parties and hanging out with a group of ravers all the time and went out into the "normal world" it was a bit of a shock how really not that many people at ALL were just like us.
Haha. (And my point is it's really not a good thing to surround yourself only with a certain type of people. It leaves you with a view of society that isn't correct.)

 

seems silly to surround yourself with people you don't agree with, it would be like you have to argue all the time. I have a lot of different aspects from work to hot rod/motorcycle stuff to my native american beliefs. I have some friends that are hard core right wing but I don't hold that against them they are still great people.
People seem to like me and I choose to look at the good in them rather than the negative side.
Rat you seem to be a nice person but you love to grab ahold of the stuff you don't agree with.

 

Some of my best friends are people I have very little in common with. The biggest quality I look for in a friend, is the ability to coexist. I don't really care if we have the same views. I just don't enjoy being around judgmental bigots.

 

I sometimes massively enjoy confronting them (verbally that is) :sunny:

 

I'm related to a lot of them. I like sparkling the occasional confrontation as well.


*runs to Facebook to post something about gay marriage*

 

I used to argue things with my mom all the time...

Just about other differing views (she's very socially conservative)... but I got tired from that a LOOONG time ago. I realized I'm never gonna change her and she's never gonna change me and the arguing (debating, whatever.), never got anywhere except more tiring.

So, I just stopping discussing any of those things. Not worth it.
Now with her I just focus on other things...and on other issues we have lots in common.

 

I have great conversations with my husband. My other friends who accept me as I am live at least an hour away, but all within driving distance. All three are women I've known since college.

As for other people I see every day, there is always some kind of a barrier that prevents us from really connecting on a deep level. Either they are mothers, or they're young and single, or they work for me, or they're clients, or they're deeply religious and/or hardcore conservatives. I usually find it easier to talk to guys than other women, but it's hard to keep those conversations platonic, and I'm not looking to hook up with every guy I meet.

True, but it can be risky to go deeper. An okay superficial relationship can turn to shit very quickly if you dare to be more open and vulnerable, and they don't like what they hear. In the business world especially, you can't risk that.

It's safer to be yourself online, or on vacation. You won't be running into those people later.

 

Haha I am related to them as well... An example where I like the start but always get terribly sorry for doing so is with my dad's brothers. I guess we are likeminded in a lot of things, but most of all they are retardedly stubborn (I share this trait too but try not to be such a dick about it anymore). It pretty much ruins every conversation in the end.

 

I have friends in my field of work and we help each other along in our businesses. We are not like minded in that we think alike which I think is good, it helps us give each other mental support from different angles.
My BF thinks a lot like me which is a good thing, he is a little more outgoing and social then I am which is good. It will bring me out more and help look away from the business a bit more and let someone else worry about it some.
I am not a totally trusting soul when it comes to business and I need to do that a bit more.
My mom and I clash but we get along. We have very different views and it gets our conversations on the phone going like two bulls as dad says but we both win in the end I think. I do like challenge in conversation and I read a lot so I am too stupid. Our conversations are mostly about good food and supplements (Dad teases and calls us The doctors when he knows we are on the phone) and then general life issues and family stuff. One time we were on the phone six hours,,, that was our longest long distance call and we still laugh about it, it started at 11 pm and ended at about 5 am. Was awesome.
I would hate if everyone around me was like me, I would never learn anything. People would tell me my wrongs are right.

 

I wanted to add to what I said earlier that my friends and I are not completely like minded. We all have wildly differing political and religious views, for example. What we all have in common is a shared love for nature and music. Our common interests are really centered more on activities we can do together. In conversation we certainly don't always agree but I think that makes it much more interesting.

 

^on this. (post #30)
I think, yea... for most people to be good friends w someone there needs to be SOMETHING in common but it's really rare for everything to be in common.
So, a person may have some friends (or a friend) that has in common...say, shared outdoor activities, going to the beach and travel.
Another friend that shares interests in fitness/exercise, cooking, healthy eating, farmer's markets (etc..whatever...)
Another might have in common political views (or lack of) n music.
And yet another may have kids your kids ages and just be fun to do stuff with as a group...
(obviously these are just examples)
It would be really rare for someone to have in common all the same things (although my husband is very close, but that's prolly why I'm married to him)...
And it also wouldn't be too common to have a friend(s) that have NOTHING in common either.

 

I guess I'll just say that's good scratcho. (post 34) Not everyone is so lucky though.

My best friend from when I was younger died when he was 20.
I am still good friends with two people from when I was younger but one of them lives 5 states away...
anyways, yea, always think people who have the same friends forever are pretty lucky.

 

Don't quote that spam, you silly!

 

A little perspective from an old guy. I don't really make new friends these days, by choice I suppose. When you've known people for almost 70 years(how in hell did---) and you've played with them as 1st graders through cruising for chicks in high school, got drunk with them for the first time at 14, fought guys from other towns(ridiculous) hung around with the same group of girls and boys throughout your young life and you know all the same things that have happened societally and so, so much more--you remain friends. Politically 180 degrees off on politics doesn't even matter and we still hang when I go to California. If one can keep their oldest friends through thick and thin---they're the best.

And the best part is that ALL of us were clowns and went for the laughs every chance we got--and we still do it. I was lucky to have a few dozen GOOD friends and that there are still some ALIVE!!

 

I find I have things in common with some people but rarely do I feel on the same wavelength.

I think this self obsessed, politically correct culture breeds 'flavor of the week' friendships/relationships. Anything which doesn't agree with a person's view regardless of how trivial or arbitrary it may be, will often make people prone to dismiss it and not confront it rather than try to reach a level of understanding, regardless of the level of what they may share in common.

 

Do you find it easy or hard to relate to other mamas? Just curious. I have a couple of mommy friends that are on the same wavelength as me but I rarely see them. Other moms I come across just seem like they're on another planet from me. I was at the park the other day and I was sitting on a bench near some other mommies so I couldn't help but overhear their conversation. They just seemed very straight and boring, for lack of another word, and seemed a little judgmental. I haven't found very many mama friends I can really connect with.

 

I feel the best way to meet like minded people is through music. If two people like the same music there guna be pretty like minded.

 

I think you're talking about mutuality and reciprocity, which are vital components to personal growth and functional relationships. I think it has something to do with authenticity (being one's true self).

Life is a masquerade, for the most part.

 

While I think that in order to maintain a friendship there must be some commonality I also feel there must be diversity. Without initial common ground I probably am not going to go further than a casual acquaintance.

The great part of having good friends is being able to discuss things and totally disagree and yet be able to leave it at that. With the occasional good ribbing of course.

I do think like attracts like, even in friendships but if there are also not difference then it can stagnate. On the other hand I would not choose to be friends with someone who always acts as if they are preparing for battle, too much wasted energy for me.

 

Yes, this really makes it easier.