Social Anxiety

I agree a lot with what Ace said. You have to force yourself to do things out of the ordinary. Once you get out of your comfort zone and realize nothing bad is going to happen, you will live a much more free life. I think you worry and think too much about how others view you. There is a quote "What other people think of me is none of my business". That's so true. It doesn't matter what anybody thinks of you. People will love you or hate you regardless of now you feel about it.

The more you stop caring about what people think of you the happier you will be because you don't have that fear holding you back. It's all in your head. The only way to change it is forcing yourself to change it. You have to make that effort every single day. Do things that make you uncomfortable until you feel ok with it. I'm not saying its going to be fun or easy but it will help. Eventually you will see that nobody else cares nearly as much as you do about you looking silly. Confidence starts to build when you realize its not about feeling like you are better than anybody else. It's when you realize that you don't need to be compared to anybody else. Just be you and people will like you for that. You're a pretty awesome guy gb. You just have to work on showing it to the rest of the world.

 

There's this store in my neighborhood that, for some reason, every time I went in there I had terrible anxiety. It completely went away after I figured out what was causing it. Well, I didn't have to figure it out. I only had to look directly at the truth and acknowledge it. Then I made a confession. Problem solved, no more anxiety in that place.

The whole thing took years.

 

So, What Was Really The Root Of Your Problem...



Cheers Glen.

 

That's private. :sunny:

Oh, I'll say that I don't mind that you (or anyone) ask but those details are private, so that's the only answer I can give.

 

So Prey Tell, What Was The Point Of This Thread If You Arn't Going

To Give Us Enough Details For Us To Make A Constructive Reply...



Cheers Glen.

 

I didn't start the thread, I responded to it.

 

I would look into cognitive behavioral theory, it has the most proven success. Mindfulness based cognitive therapy is also supposed to be very effective. But still look into other methods.

Try to get out there and put to practice anything you learn from therapy or advice from others. Just reading about it won't help.

Try to get started as soon as possible. Avoidance to social activities will make it all worse. If you start taking benzos take them for a brief time and stay at the lowest dose while practicing getting in and gradually becoming comfortable with social situations. Benzos and sleeping pill will eventually ruin you life if you continue to use them. You have problems with memory and behavior. Trust me I kniw what I'm talking about.

My wife and doctor are the only ones that know the extent to which my anxiety has become (until the very second that someone else reads this post). I'm getting ready to get dressed and sit with a large group of people. I will be taking a half of a .5 Klonopin (clonazepam) as soon as I stop posting. I will take the other half right before I go in the conference room. I will remember about 40 % if what goes on in there. I will do the same for the next three dsys. If I would have stayed with and practiced therapy I would likely not be in this condition.

I still meet friends without meds, but it depends where we are going and how many will be there. I don't take meds everyday, but I have just recently started taking sleeping pills more often - I used to only take them when switching from day shift to night shift or vice versa for work. Now with anxiety and a few minor problem at home, my use is increasing.

9 months ago, I wouldn't even take aspirin, now I have to take something just to function in society sometimes.

This is what could happen if you don't get out there and push yourself (but not too fast or too quickly) to do things that are uncomfortable to you, but in small steps.

Try to stay clear of meds if you can, you begin to slowly decline mentally and do things you normally would not do, and become unable to to things you used to be able to do.

Whatever you do just do it and don't give up.

 

I agree with a couple of posters, this negative cycle we can get into and CBT has shown some real great results along with mindfulness meditation which you can find online. Here's an online free CBT site, see if you get on with it or ask your dr if there are any groups in the area.

https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

 

Apparently wearing all black clothes gives you confidence,but I could never get into it

 

Also slimming

 

Yeah...I guess that could help some people "get into it"...

 

Haha, I meant black clothes are supposed to be slimming...

 

I know what you meant...but some of those black jeans come up really tight.

 

Heee

 

CBT helped me a lot with my anxiety.

You kind of have to learn to separate how you're feeling from how you want to feel. Try and force yourself to do things even if you're anxious. Exposure therapy, I guess. The more you force yourself to do it, the easier it gets, even if it makes you an anxious mess for the rest of the day the first few times.

 

The main anxiety I get is like going to an interview, asking for a number, asking somebody for help when I have needed it.
The easiest way for me to get over it was I would just tell myself, "the worst you can get is a no".

It sounds simple but thats all you need to get motivated, if you get turned down, who cares, life moves on ya know.

 

If your social anxiety is bad enough you could always see a shrink and get some zoloft or something. I know psych meds arent popular but theyre more beneficial than i imagine a lot of people here think

 

CBT did nothing for me.I'm going to try hypnosis.I need Benzos to go anywhere further than the supermarket or the mile walk into town.I'm just glad I don't get panics in my local supermarket and that I can hang out in my local town without Benzos.I am truly thankful for small blessings.

 

I like that line 'Life begins outside your comfort zone'. If you have a very small comfort zone social wise and you want to get over it, the best way to do it is to get social.
Practice! Confront yourself!
Yes, this is easier said than done so maybe people who've done this could give more practical tips There is little chance of get over social anxiety if you keep avoiding social situations.

 

I don't really have social anxiety as such.I can get on and relate to most people in a sane environment.What I have is a biochemical neurological severe panic attack disorder caused by extreme trauma...etc.Sorry to be so negative,but,you,know,fuck everything.