What would you do if you were homeless?

I'm not mad at my family I just don't understand, cutting people off financially is perfectly acceptable, completely removing people from your family short of them stealing from you or something is what I don't understand. There mad because I go to college and didn't want to take over the family business. If it was tough love I could deal, but it's I didn't do what they wanted with my life so it became worthless. I can't draw unemployment because it wasn't a real tax paying job I was paid in cash.

 

Maybe your all right, I have been more privileged than most and I realized that. I did work hard for them when I could handle the hours around school. It just hit me too hard when I lost everything in one morning. The hardest part about this isn't finding food or a place to stay, or even mone, it's finding a way to get your life back on track.

 

Stuff like the campin ideas etc. I'm not looking for a place to crash and chill. I'm looking for ways to support myself into being able to build a life again.

 

Trust me... I mean logically I understand the tough love idea and all but I also don't get it or didn't get it when I was younger. I can guarantee with my kids I will encourage independence and getting on their feet and stuff but short of them doing something terrible, or at least giving them many chances, I will never be just kicking them to the curb. I can guarantee it. That's a good and a bad thing about me. Because of what I went through- like I said, it wasn't terrible... I had it fairly good considering but it was still tough and a battle for me... I would have a hard time doing something similar to my own kids. I used to take in strays all the time... I took in more than one person that used to come around these forums actually. Neither of them ended up paying me a penny n it was hard as hell to get them to leave. Me telling someone they could stay for a couple weeks at least without working or paying and then they'd have to work-pay something to stay longer...and even then it being temporary and be working on finding elsewhere to live.... well, let's just say that turned into 3, 4 months... no job... no looking for job on one of their behalves and well, if I hadn't gone through times not knowing where I'd be sleeping in a night or two--- well, I wouldn't have been so nice. People take advantage of that though sometimes. Unfor I am unable to help anyone out like that anymore--- not only because I had enough of people who abuse kindness but because I have one kid living here now and one on the way so my time taking in strays is over. But anyways... I do get how you feel. More or less.

Good luck though... you'll figure something out!

I do know what it feels like not to know... you know...where you'll be staying in a day, a week, a month, etc.
It's not a fun feeling.
But there are lots of things to do. Go work any shit job you can get right away and check craigslist apt share for now... for a temp thing...and then go find the next thing from there.... one foot in front of the other. One step til the next.

I just meant you can camp temporarily while you are looking for first an apt share/room for rent and then room mates or your own apt or whatever you do after that. Just as a first step if you can't figure out anything else to do RIGHT AWAY.

 

Until you work for a family business, You have no idea how it works. I mean that in this type of situation, My grandfather owned a car dealership, Uncles do/did as well and one has a transmission shop and car lot. I have 5 uncles and all are in the business but one.

You work you're ass off for little to no pay! IIf the shop didn't make X amount, Well 'here's a few dollars to get ya by' until next week to settle up. Same shit happens next week and you are owned 120hr's of pay, Cash, Check or otherwise.
I did cash only and that's the gamble you take. I had good weeks and many years in 2000-09', But its family and the way it works. You get pissed at them and they yell, You dish it back and tell the fuck off and leave. Next day is all forgotten and back to work.

But I hit the same situation in 10'/11' when "handouts" took over and taxes for small business was double and the country was starting its decent to its second depression. My uncle retired and closed in 60 days, Leaving the shop attached I worked from gone too.
That's when I started out of my personal garage and have since cut way back. I saved and there is still money and I can always work if I want extra $$, But not as big as it was.

When you work for family, You are a disposable asset just as the next guy. They can get a guy for less and drive him like a slave until he quits. So you just hope and save and or buy assets to liquidate if/when this type of thing happens.
If the pay you listed is true and hours worked, IMO you got fucked by family that owes you big, As you made him twice as much or more. Ive been there and not much you can do but pay back and karma is a mother fucker, Hope it hits them hard.
But in the end, You do have to nut up and move on like a man! No way around it unless the govt. tit. Start looking in the field you were in and anything in between.
Right now who cares if you have to sleep with super fat chicks for supper or gas money, Service performed, Money owed! LoL You can also go to a truck stop with wifi and they have showers or a rest area if you can find gas $$.

 

My brother would like to do what I do but he has no experience and would have to work for me first and did kind of ask about it. I said no, he has a great job already and can retire nicely through there and I know if he came to work for me it would likely be more work for me instead of any help. He is doing good where he is but he wouldn't respect me as much as he does his bosses just because he could get away with more IMO.
And even if he came to work for me he would need several years of experience and the would start off low on the pole so he is much better off where he is. I had to shut the idea down before he got his heart all over it and started to add the pressure on. I won't have family work for or with me. I don't owe them that. They don't owe me that.
We were taught to fend for ourselves and we are. He does like his job but he knows my work is much easier and more slack or free lance and self controlled so to say. I can work harder for more money or less for less money depending on my needs or goals. He likes that idea but he would probably slack off and use me more I think. He would want more contracts for the money and leave me pulling the heavy end. But,,, he's my bro and I love him, just not enough to work for his needs. I am set, I don't need a change now. If he was homeless suddenly I would help him find a job and offer him a room till he got a few pay cheques in his pocket and I would hope for the same if I was homeless.

 

Been homeless twice. Decided to pick something, become an expert.. buy a house and become a baller!

 

Ok I am a little blond so must ask, what's a baller?

 

A baller is basically a thug (if your black) or trailer park refuse (if you’re white) that made it to the big time (a rags to riches story)


Hotwater

 

As if your grandfather is omnipotent and without error.

$300/wk.; rent approx. $350-700/mo. depending on other factors like food and accomodations; family favors, who knows. So you were making anywhere from $1,500 to $2,000/mo. And you couldn’t save ANY money? No “emergency supplies” like a sleeping bag, tent, back-up cell phone, personal care items, and the like? Rent and I presume eats were covered, so that’s $1,000-1,200 per month. Unless you have a lot of bills, that’s a lot of money going...nowhere? Pardon me, but no wonder your grandfather treated you like this. Seriously. Technically it’s none of my business what you did with that money, but you apparently didn’t plan for bad times coming. And bad times are almost always coming. Life is full of ups & downs. Feast or famine.

If you can’t get an Obamaphone, see if there isn’t someone out there that’ll let you earn a prepay cell phone. I have several prepay phones, different carriers. Trac phone is one of them. Invest in a $9 phone, buy 200 minutes, buy double minutes, stock up on minutes every chance you get, and it helps. I last bought minutes for my trac phone a year ago. Still have 450 minutes on it. (Just now checked it, and I still have another 6,517 days on it. So unless Trac phone goes out of business or changes how they do business, that 450 minutes is good for another 17 years, 10 months, 3 days (until March 24th, 2032). I imagine in a few months I might buy another 120 minutes for it. I dunno).

But a PO Box is cheap. You likely will need a street address though to get one. I did.

BTDT. Been homeless. It sucks big time, but it’s also a very educational time. You’ll learn a lot about people, society and yourself.

Go talk to the pastors at the local churches and see if there is any work you can do in exchange for fuel, food, and supplies (like a tent & sleeping bag). Who knows, they may have something to give you in exchange for some work or perhaps just as a gift.

THEN see if you can’t line up some work at a state park. I did that for a few months one summer. Worked in exchange for a place to put my travel trailer (a bit different than a tent, I know). But hey, I had restrooms, water, roof over my head, and something to add to my resume. Ok, my travel trailer had a lot of stuff your tent won’t. Like a shitter. But there were still public vaulted toilets there. It gave me a place to live for a couple months.

No. You need to learn to help yourself, Hipstudent. Guess you can hate me now, because from the sounds of it you’re already a bit late growing up.

I don’t think that would work. First, it’s family. Family relation typically doesn’t fall under state law in a case like this. Also, neither will an employer/employee relationship. Typically once the employee is fired the employer can tell them if they can stay a few more days or else the tenancy relationship ends the second employment ends. Sounless his grandfather said he can stay, he’s out. Because of both relationships, family & employment-related, I seriously doubt he’d have a chance. And something I know first hand is if you’re living with someone that does not want you there, it becomes a hostile environment. Very emotionally deleterious.

Worth a shot. But it’s gonna be a tough one from the sounds of his grandfather.

Two ways I have helped people or received help is by buying them the gas or food or giving them a gift certificate for it. Liquor stores and drug dealers rarely accept gift certificates in this manner. Once you give the person money while they say they’ll buy gas or food, they can decide how they spend it once you give it to them. So if they go to the liquor store, they can spend it as they wish.

When I give help, I give them a hand up, not a handout.

I was wondering that as well. Maybe it’s just my paranoia, but something seems fishy about this whole deal.

 

Yeah I'm on a phone and not going to quote, reply to all that even though I really hate when people pick a few sentences out of a paragraph to quote at almost like then putting words in your mouth. But if you have an actual question ill reply

 

Quoting your own words is not the same thing as putting words in your mouth

 

you are correct, he is wrong. but when he talks about taking a sentence out of a paragraph there is the potential to take the quote out of context which to him might feel like putting words in his mouth that were never there.

 

damn logan is eating good.

 

Ok, so he probably should have saved up some money.

Pretty much everyone is screwing up/insufficiently vigilant in some way though, and the "I-told-you-so's" don't really help.

You mean you didn't wear sunscreen and now you have skin cancer?
You mean you smoked and now you have lung cancer?
You mean you didn't learn kung-fu and you got stabbed by a knife wielding maniac?
You mean you didn't put a dead bolt on your door? You mean you didn't wear a bullet proof vest? You mean you didn't read and understand all of the contract terms before you signed? You mean you didn't test your water and soil for contaminants? etc.

Suffice it to say he should try to get some $ saved and try to remember that shit happens.

I think you may be wrong about that one. The law varies from state to state though. I think that typically, if you are evicted from your lawful residence, the property owner must go through an eviction process, which typically includes 30 days notice.

 

What might be happening here is he and maybe some others are learning from what is said. One thing peeps here are kinda wired about is his attitude that grandpa did him wrong and we are trying to say deal with it and quit blaming another for your situation. I agree with the rest that and the sooner Hipstudent realizes the message the sooner he will get his shit together and move forward, hopefully he doesn't find a friend who says "Here, crash on my couch for a couple weeks" and just go with that direction, it's already kinda been done. What needs to happen is HS gets this message and he saves himself from what feels like this hurt again. No one should care for us, we should care for ourselves and be willing to help a neighbor when we can but the point is you can't sit and blame, that's what bugs me most, more then his grandpa booting him on short notice because I do know he can survive, without relying on booze or drugs. If not it's because he didn't want to. He is hearing from many who have already seen worse and got through it, those peeps like me won't pat him on the back and do the You poor soul kinda stuff because IMO, he had more given to him then I ever did. He burnt that bridge but likely has a chance to walk it again if he doesn't just go off disowning grandpa for the chance and the boot. What grandpa makes is irrelevant but was mentioned and it's now time to explore and do for one's self. Love grandpa for the opportunity offered and get on with life. It's really not so bad if you look for resources and use them to get back on your feet. I did it for a year and he can too, bets are he has more opportunities for work then I did being a female. That was when I learned how to use a riding lawn mower and how to cut lawns like a guy and do a lot of other things I never though I could. There is a hoard of older peeps looking for someone to help them in yard work, loading wood, building a garage, ya gotta knock on doors and enter work places with the idea you can do anything.

 

imho, whether he blames others, blames himself, or blames no one doesn't really matter. It's only really a problem if he gets so hung up on who is to blame that he doesn't make and follow through on a good plan to get back on track. I agree that if he was paralyzed by blame/self pitty, it would be a problem, but I really don't think he is.

It seems like some of the comments are coming from folks who feel bitter about having had it rough/rougher than the OP, and want to get some shots in because it makes them feel better about having had it rough. Maybe I would do the same too if I had been in the same situation, but I still don't think that any of that is actually helping.

If he starts saying "boo-hoo, I'm going to go smoke meth cause life is unfair, and I'm the most unfairly treated person ever" then maybe some tough love and verbal face slapping would be called for, but he seems to be well shy of that.

What does that statement even mean? It seem like philosophical opposition to getting help from anyone, without an explanation for why that is wrong.

Should people be ready to fend for themselves and be rugged individuals when no else will help? Yes, absolutely yes.

Should people be willing to reach out for and accept help when they need it? Yes, absolutely yes to that too.

Should we condemn American Terrorist for sleeping on a friend's couch when she left her mom? Should she have lived on the street to prove what a rugged individual she is? I would say no. I think that she did the smart thing by getting help from a friend.

So if I were in HipStudent's shoes, I'd probably take all of the social safety net programs and good offers for help that I could get until I got back on my feet. Then I'd hope that I'd try to pass on the good that was done to me on to others.

 

Adopt or adapt.

 

I understand the sentiment. My son is a consummate couch surfer at 25. He experiences a great deal of drama in his life because the tide always changes and the waves go out with it. He is into the sugar momma now but some of those come with caustic sodapop.

 

His grandpa did screw him over, When you yank a rug that fast, You are getting fucked hard with no vaseline family or not. But you chalk it up to a loss and move on.
You can sit and blame anyone and everyone until you are blue in the face, Not going to change the fact you have to nut up and move on. Its not worth the time or energy to give the fuckers any thought and set some goals for yourself.