Sometimes I feel as though I peaked as a person around 2005-2007 and now I am fading fast into a shell of my former self. :wheelchair:
I peaked my last semester at Duke. It's my biggest accomplishment. I had a 3.4 GPA, studied under Reynolds Price who was friends with Jennifer Beals and ate dinner at the White House and wrote amazing books, read Paradise Lost in that class, took Sexuality Studies where I debated on the side of legalizing prostitution (sex-positive feminists vs anti-porn radicals) and wrote an essay against machismo, taught myself Spanish and landed in an Advanced Oral Communication class where I learned about obesity in the Latin community (due to poverty), volunteered as a English tutor to Hispanic adults, took a cardio class and Latin Dance, worked out three hours a day, running, cardio class, Ashtanga yoga, mango smoothies with metabolizer, fruits, veggies, sushi and occasionally whatever I wanted, lost my sweet tooth, no chocolate. Saw a therapist who healed me and taught me to accept my sexuality, had no friends, no drama. Then I was stuck in a rut for five years. Unemployed, underperforming at temp jobs, hospitalized five times for psychosis, being bullied in the office, abusing alcohol everyday, fat, seen as lazy, chain smoker, negative daydreams, verbally abusive boyfriend. This is my breakthrough year. Got on SSI, then I got a job as an admin for a condo, I edit and proofread documents which I enjoy doing, I can wear my hippie clothes, sexually liberated (not one night stands, fwbs), great therapist, on Welbutrin to stop smoking, losing weight gradually, drink occasionally (once a month), practice mindfulness meditation. I hope to work for a non-profit and rise through the ranks. Things are looking up, so never, ever give up.
