Dont forget that there is a 1 inch vertical incline on the floor at the entrance of your bedroom.... Dont stub your toe.....
Don't accept a position as an emperor's food taster...it can drastically shorten your life expectancy
Don't be the person walking backwards moving a large object if the person on the other end walks faster than you.
Always tie corpse's laces together before burying them-that way,if zombies are real,we've got a chance to outrun 'em.
give your brake and fuel lines a good looking over so you can do the necessary repairs BEFORE coating everything in oily undercoating
sound advice. Always make sure your boss isn't around when you're recounting an inappropriate work moment.