Should I Give Up On Looking For "special" Monogamous Relationships?

Since I was 16 I have always maintained monogamous relationships. But from the moment I started, I went fast and fell fast. I grew up with terrible abandonment issues and always attached myself and put pride in "owning" a partner.

Love, however, has always worked very differently for me. I am much more selective about who I love. I have been in relationships for years where I didn't actually love the person, and loved those I never had a labeled "relationship" with.

I.E. I met my husband when I was 16 and knew I would have feelings for him from the day we met. We maintained a friendship for 5 years before ever perusing a relationship together. He saw me through all of my relationships and other loves, and it never once changed the way I felt about him or our relationship.

It's because of this that my husband and I transitioned into a polyamorous relationship. He is my best friend as I am his. I enjoy seeing him make close bonds with other people because I understand that it fulfills needs that I never could as one person. And because our relationships is grounded primarily in trust and respect, I have no insecurities about losing him because he talks to me about everything.


That being said, I do know that polyamory is not for everyone, I have simply found it to be the most fulfilling decision that my husband and I have ever made for ourselves.

 

gonna resurrect this thread because I found the poll interesting.

I'm surprised nobody voted for "promiscuous". I guess people did not get my meaning and avoided it do to the negative connotation. What I meant was that you are interested in having many partners, but not in the context of polyamorous relationships of any sort -- you want to hook up with people, but you don't want a relationship

 

I can't vote yet because I personally haven't figured it out yet.

I suspect I'm a more monogamy though, but my standards are so high in the quality of person I want that I'll probably never find it.


--

I will say this though polyamorous relationships only really scary to me because of the trend of antibiotic resistant sexually transmitted diseases.

Sex is starting to equal a potential death sentence again. If that happens sexual rights have to be dialed back to what they were before the pill, and before the 1960's and that would be sad.