Should I Give Up On Looking For "special" Monogamous Relationships?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Hedgeclipper, Nov 7, 2014.

?

what is your currently preferred sociosexual orientation?

  1. Monogamous (long-term)

    19 vote(s)
    63.3%
  2. Monogamous (short-term)

    5 vote(s)
    16.7%
  3. Polyamorous

    4 vote(s)
    13.3%
  4. Celibate

    2 vote(s)
    6.7%
  5. Promiscuous

    1 vote(s)
    3.3%
  6. Other

    3 vote(s)
    10.0%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Bunnielight

    Bunnielight Member

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    Since I was 16 I have always maintained monogamous relationships. But from the moment I started, I went fast and fell fast. I grew up with terrible abandonment issues and always attached myself and put pride in "owning" a partner.

    Love, however, has always worked very differently for me. I am much more selective about who I love. I have been in relationships for years where I didn't actually love the person, and loved those I never had a labeled "relationship" with.

    I.E. I met my husband when I was 16 and knew I would have feelings for him from the day we met. We maintained a friendship for 5 years before ever perusing a relationship together. He saw me through all of my relationships and other loves, and it never once changed the way I felt about him or our relationship.

    It's because of this that my husband and I transitioned into a polyamorous relationship. He is my best friend as I am his. I enjoy seeing him make close bonds with other people because I understand that it fulfills needs that I never could as one person. And because our relationships is grounded primarily in trust and respect, I have no insecurities about losing him because he talks to me about everything.


    That being said, I do know that polyamory is not for everyone, I have simply found it to be the most fulfilling decision that my husband and I have ever made for ourselves.

    :)
     
  2. Hedgeclipper

    Hedgeclipper Qiluprneeels Nixw

    Messages:
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    gonna resurrect this thread because I found the poll interesting.

    I'm surprised nobody voted for "promiscuous". I guess people did not get my meaning and avoided it do to the negative connotation. What I meant was that you are interested in having many partners, but not in the context of polyamorous relationships of any sort -- you want to hook up with people, but you don't want a relationship
     
  3. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Hedgeclipper, remember the Internet is where people feel ok about being different, or, take pride in it, or even inflate it because they are trying on an identity.

    Monagamy wins. Either through attrition, or the basic impulse.

    Secular multi partnerships rarely last lifelong.
     
  4. MysteryMind

    MysteryMind Members

    Messages:
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    I can't vote yet because I personally haven't figured it out yet.

    I suspect I'm a more monogamy though, but my standards are so high in the quality of person I want that I'll probably never find it.


    --

    I will say this though polyamorous relationships only really scary to me because of the trend of antibiotic resistant sexually transmitted diseases.

    Sex is starting to equal a potential death sentence again. If that happens sexual rights have to be dialed back to what they were before the pill, and before the 1960's and that would be sad.
     

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