Neither Of Us Feeling Anything During Sex

Discussion in 'The Orgasmic Experience' started by billly31, Jun 1, 2015.

  1. billly31

    billly31 Members

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    I got the trojan pleasure pack and what other positions would you recommend, we both live at home so we do it in a car (SUV with back seats out so there is enough room to lay down on a blanket but not to stand up fully obviously)
     
  2. HoldTheMoan

    HoldTheMoan Newbie

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    Maybe you're not able to get that comfortable and truly enjoy it. Make sure there's lots of floorplay. Talk about your fantasies or what you enjoy and spend a lot of time doing that before penetration!
     
  3. nicelynoosed

    nicelynoosed Members

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    So...I'm apparently a bit large. I start with that not to make fun, but to explain how even a perfectly well-proportioned gentleman can have size issues that affect the quality of sex. For a long time, I thought I had trouble with stamina. I just couldn't last as long as I wanted to until the third or fourth time, by which point the lady in question was sometimes checking her watch or discreetly texting. When I met my wife, who has had kids, a whole new world opened up to me. The fit was perfect. Per-fect. In one universe, I had trouble lasting, but in another I was at the top of my game.

    Many people believe that either size doesn't matter or that it can only be disappointing. I'm here to tell you that two people need to fit downstairs as well as up. Your size is almost unnaturally normal, but that isn't everything. The length of your legs relative to each other, your hips and her thighs, and even the natural curve of your stomachs can affect good friction and ideal planes of motion. What's good is that you're both aware enough and empathetic enough to see that it's not working. So, try a few more positions and try to find what feels good. You don't have to obsess about orgasm. Just focus on finding the pleasure.

    Or, set aside the tired ideal that everyone orgasms from traditional penetration. A surprising percentage of women report that they need more than just straight sex in order to climax. Try demonstrating what feels good and having her try that too. Encourage her to be more verbal when your mouth is on her-there is no sure-fire way to lick a woman, they're not video games with cheat codes. I strongly recommend licking the alphabet, slowly, and repeating any promising letter.

    Lastly, don't let porn give you a wildly false idea of how sex works. Porn is to sex as GTA is to driving. Instead of thinking about what should happen next, focus on seriously amping up the arousal (reading dirty stories together has worked well for me in the past) and then just letting your bodies feel good. Expectations tend to ruin reality.

    Good luck, and keep fucking - you'll figure it out.

    NN
     
    2 people like this.
  4. PeaceInTime

    PeaceInTime Member

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    Seriously fucking good advice right there, man.
     
  5. Mattekat

    Mattekat Ice Queen of The North

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    Sex gets better the more you do it with someone IMO. Practice, practice, practice!
     
  6. Pieceofmyheart

    Pieceofmyheart Grumpy old bitch HipForums Supporter

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    Do you know the female anatomy and what and where her clitoris is? Does she?
     
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  7. drumminmama

    drumminmama Super Moderator Super Moderator

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    Here's what I'm seeing:
    Inexperience (self resolving)
    No privacy (causes stress in a bad way)
    Possibly condoms that are too thick (look for thinner ones, esp. on adult toy sites/Amazon. But get the reviews from sex positive sites)
    Positions are both variants on the theme (branch out)

    Does the foreplay result in orgasm for her? It probably should.
     

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