I'm in a pickle, and I like to write, so bear with me here, (I promise there is an end). One year ago I met the man that I plan to spend the rest of my life with. He is everything that I could have dreamt for, and when we have sex, it is grade A phenomenal. But we have some problems. 1. Since we have met he has been in and out of the state, so our sex life is inconsistent (which irritates him). 2. He has a past with drugs, which I have read can severely affect someone's sex drive ( so I let him take the lead) 3. He feels that I don't want him because I always wait for him to make a move. (Because the drug thing and I'm scared of getting turned down) So finally, I make a move, and F his brains out for hours, yet five hours later I am still so wired that I cannot sit still. So I suppose that 4. Is did I overstimulate myself, or is that even possible?? I have never felt like this, but I feel like I am acting like I am drunk or something. Just want someone to talk to, something to do, etc.. I feel like I am being a bad partner, ( and also like I am making a recovering addict feel like his partner is possibly on drugs). I am an anxiety ridden early 20s female, so the over thinking is expected, but I have NEVER felt this stimulated I my life and omg I don't know how to handle it. Not necessarily still horny, just "wired" and feeling so weird
Your physiology, Neuro-chemical, and behavioral psyche are just holding onto the positive rush their respectively experiencing from a drastic successful sexual achievement. Pace yourself regardless of whose initiating for the next little while or youll burn out. like a seasoned amphetamine junkie having depleted seratonin centers. I feel like noting that it may cause your partner to panick if you become excitedly clingy/over exuberant in both sexual and non sexual aspects of the relationship. Now! The effect drugs have on sex drive varies widely on depending substance, length/extremity of use, and stage of recovery (if hes in recovery, your business) Regardless of medical predispositions, if yall have been hooking up he should be reaching the point where his natural response will be positive regardless of who initiates the sex, which would effectively neutralize your anxiety foundation. Much more important in that area, i think, is that you be able to discuss safely the concerns you have, he be able to discuss his feelings of neglect (which can trigger sexual doubt and therefore uncooperative anatomy faster than fly shit) and also no matter the circumstance if his anatomy fails (so long as its purely a technical malfunction) it should be okay for him to just say that and (ideally) opt to give you oral or something instead. Its kind of hard to stop yourself, per my experience, but simple technical malfunctions shouldnt be taken personally either.
I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "stimulated," haha. But you should really take a step back and realize that much of this may just be anxiety symptoms. I have GAD myself and am no longer on medication due to personal choice. I often to dissociate for a moment and look at things objectively to be able to calm down. First of all, as Kitten mentioned above, it is really important that you communicate your concerns regarding personal safety. If there are legitimate reasons to be afraid of him in a physical *or* emotional context, you may want to seriously reconsider the level of closeness and vulnerability present between you both. I've been close to several people [platonically] who struggled with different drug problems (one was coming off opiates, the other struggling with meth abuse), and sometimes depending on many factors their emotional state can cause aggression, even when they truly do not mean it. But simply not meaning it does not erase the effects, and you have a responsibility to keep yourself safe. I don't know much about your situation, so I'm not trying to accuse or anything. But definitely if there is cause to worry you should try your best to be careful, even if that means putting some distance between you two. But also, don't be afraid to make a move on him! Clearly he finds you very attractive and desirable. It would likely boost your confidence as well as his. I don't see that there is any reason to hold yourself back. Let yourself be comfortable with him. That is essential for a healthy relationship to be maintained. Best of luck to you!
Sometimes I have trouble sleeping after having crazy awesome sex. I think women have the opposite reaction to men in that regard. Where men get tired after sex and want to sleep, women are more perked up and ready to go.
I read somewhere that exactly what you've described is a product of our evolution. It goes back to our ancestors, to a time when some scientists believe it may have been common place for the males not have asked for consent to the female. So after sex the male goes sleepy to give the female a chance to runaway. Hence the species lives on...
I think females are perky after sex because they see it as a beautiful thing. They're like, "Such a beautiful thing just happened to me! I'm beautiful! The world is beautiful! I want to experience more of it!" while a man is just like, "That was splendid," and he goes to sleep. Sullivan it sounds as though your man is a bit insecure. Which is fine, but you don't have to acknowledge that bullshit. Don't get anxious. Your relationship is going swimmingly. Take more time to appreciate how good it is and spend less time focusing on whatever negative aspects you perceive to be. At least make an attempt to do this, if you are uncontrollably neurotic and can't stop worrying. That's the best you can do.
