Why Is Dating So Hard?

Not all internet forums, just this one: http://asexuality.org/

 

everyone lies on the internet.

 

I prefer to hour rather than date, I don't know what I'm doing in days time, but I might be able to tell you what I'm doing in an hour.

 

This is why I have to go to the grocery store every day after work. I can't buy two weeks worth of food at a time. How the fuck am I supposed to know what I want to eat next Tuesday? ?

 

And god forbid someone distracts me by trying to pick me up in the grocery store, my entire grocery list flies right out of my head

Just curious, has anyone ever actually been hit on / hit on someone in the grocery store? I'm usually at my worst in the grocery store, I like to go on Sunday mornings before the church crowd hits so I usually haven't showered, my hair is in a messy bun, I'm pissed off that I even have to be there because I hate it so much so I have my resting bitch face on. Can't say I look particularly approachable. And sometimes I have a small child with me which is a major deterrent to men for some weird reason

 

It happened to me once. I was caught so off guard. I thought it was the kind of thing that only happened in movies. I'm like, "yeah, I'm just here for sour cream and orange juice. But thanks."

 

I have flirted in the grocery store. But not early in the mornings

 

i've often considered hitting someone in the grocery store.

 

I think when you start talking, thinking like this... then dating will start getting hard. I'm sure the people who have partners weren't talking, thinking like this before they got partners.

Also, if you do end up single for the rest of your life, which I highly doubt, it's not the end of world. I understand the desire to want to be with someone. Some people have that desire. And some people don't. However, there are people who have that desire, but will stay single. While there are other people who don't have a desire to be with someone, but they are. It is what is it. You aren't going to die or extremely suffer if you're single.

But, like I said I doubt you will stay single. If you have decent looks, preferably ones that match with your potional partner. For example, you said you're on the chubby side. Odds are you will end up with a girl that is chubby. We mate with people that look like us. If you have a decent personality, basically no negative emotions ever. Quirky emotions might be okay. But, I would stay away from that too, because it might be too different for people. And if you are out there in the social scene, then I don't see how you can't get someone.

Just stop thinking about it, and just do it.

 

You sound hot. I would tap that.

 

I'm the same way. Also, it's hard carrying all that stuff, on the train by my lonesome. I like skipping merrily with one lightweight grocery bag. I don't like when the refrigerator is stuffed with food. It's overwhelming and makes me not want to eat.

 

Skipping merrily is so underrated.

 

At least you are trying and making some effort. This doesn't mean that you should give up, if this is truly what you want. My suggestion is take a break on pursuing a relationship and focus on you. You don't feel confident about how you feel about yourself- start there! If you don't like how you look, start losing that weight and work out on a regular basis. Your female co-workers will take notice, and take interest. Even if you don't achieve any success with them, they may introduce you to friends of theirs outside of the work place who might be interested. If getting a date at the workplace isn't cutting it, seek other opportunities to meet a good woman by finding something that you might have in common, I.e. a particular hobby, etc. Trying to date from the workplace doesn't always work out, and can lead to unwanted drama that can make the workplace environment very uncomfortable if the relationship goes south. All the women there know that you are looking to date, and will make sure any new women that show up to work there, know this. This could work for you or against you, depending how the gossip goes. The good thing about it is they have positive things to say about you, and that's a great start. So, don't give up, focus on self improvement, and look else where.

 

......

 

So I've recently re-entered the dating world after a very long hiatus. It is a bit intimidating. I'm not necessarily actively pursuing a relationship, but there are so many new things to navigate now: flirting, meeting people, going on dates. My skills in these areas are somewhere between rusty and non-existent. I am hoping I eventually strike up a friendship with someone and then kindle some mutual interest, as that model has worked best for me in the past.

 

^
If you can't find anyone over there maybe move to 'the old world'

 

Now's your time to pounce Asmo. You've already indicated your extreme attraction to YFM's pics.

Maybe start off doing some PM'ing, then send her some photos of you. If all goes well, get a ticket to the states and arrange to spend a couple weeks here. If the time together goes well, maybe that alone, or a few more visits together could cement plans for either her to go to Holland or you to go to the US. The whole visa process might be a bit of a hassle, but if you've found someone who is a good match for you, it's probably worth it.

No guarantees that everything will click, but it's clear that you want it, so go for it

 

I haven't been on HF that much lately, so maybe I missed a post or two, but it seems like the last time you mentioned your relationship, everything was going well. Do you care to say what happened?

 

Do share. How are you going about this?

My way isn't really a way. I just am out and about, and some guy comes up to me. Some guy that end up just wanting sex.

The last guy was during a MRI exam. He wasn't the technician. He was the guy that greeted me in, told me to get undressed, ask me a few questions, etc. Anyways, I decided to do something brave and tell him that he was cute. In all my years... I never was the girl that came up to a guy. Now, I wasn't trying to pick him up. I just wanted to call him cute. Then as I was leaving he chased me down... to ask for my number and give me his. So, we exchange. And then not even within the first ten texts was he already asking me for pictures.

I asked him what gave him the idea that this is all I wanted. And he had the nerve to tell me it was because I was being aggressive. So, he thought I just wanted sex. How the fuck was I being aggressive? And what does that have to do with just wanting a sexual relationship? I was like, "Bullshit! I bet you're one of those guys that has a kid already. But, where is the kid? Where is the mother? I'm assuming the mother and kid are together, while you're just chilling sexting with another girl. Don't ever text me again!"

And believe or not, I was right. He does have a kid, but he claims he cares about him. Right. And I'm a beautiful woman that can actually get a standup guy. We all tell ourselves fairytale lies.

Hopefully, I won't see him for my next MRI appiontment. I'm over it, though. If I see him, I'll just act like nothing happen, because nothing did.

All in all, I need a better mating rituals. So, how does the wise and beautiful youfreeme do it? Please, teach me your ways.

 

Thanks for the much needed advice, Newbie!