My story. A friend hard to find

Hello all.

If this doesn’t belong here I apologize. I tried to find a place, but didn’t find it.

I wanted to share my story and see if anyone else could relate. I’ve been bisexual all of my life. Always in the closet. The only people who have known were the men that I had sex/relationship with.

I had a few one night stands and experiences in college. My best experience was with my high school best friend. We were both curious one night and decided to start exploring with each other. That night we just jacked each other off. Then it became a regular thing, the next time we tried oral and so on. Eventually, it progressed to full blown sex with penetration. We actually ended up developing a secret “romantic” relationship.

For three years we both had our shares of girlfriends, but in secret, wine and him were lovers. Our girlfriends, friends, or family never knew. They all thought we were best friends... which we were. Behind closed doors however, we considered each other boyfriends. We had a full secret real relationship, we kissed, had sex, celebrated anniversaries (lol we were young), all behind closed doors.

Unfortunately, our relationship ended when his parents got divorced and he moved away to another country. After him, I had a couple of flings here and there. Then I met a woman that I fell in love with. We married and have not been with a man for 10 years. In the past three years, my thirst for men has awoken again. But I’m not interested in random meetings with guys.

Since I’m in the closet and would never come out, a close friend like my high school best friend. Who I could have a genuine friendship and be hung closed doors a sexual relationship, would be my ideal scenario.

Sorry for the long story, but I’ve kept this inside for so long that it feels great to let it out. This will stay in fantasy because I won't cheat on my wife. But, just thought I'd share my feelings. Anyone else in a similar situation?