How to get fired...ABC style

S- Shit on your boss's desk.

 

K-Kick the bosses ass.

 

T- Tell him he's a fascist pig with no real balls and before getting in your car piss on his tires.

 

U - Urgent an email with nothing but a picture of your balls to everyone on the company mailing list

 

vomit on the window, and then draw a smiley face on it. then write your bosses name with an arrow pointing at the vomit face.

 

W - Wash your boss's car window with toilet paper (THE SAME PAPER YOU USED TO WIPE YOUR.........) When your done and the car stinks like shit with smears all over it,etc demand to be paid for washing his car....

 

xylophone music is the new office music 24/7

 

yell all your conversations.

 

zipper down...stuff hanging out ...while working the front desk

 

Activate the fire sprinkler system by smoking a joint standing on top of your boss's desk in your underwear while singing "Don't Worry Be Happy".

 

B - Bill your boss 100s of $$$$ by ordering cigars on his statement and label the purchase as office supplies... (Unknowing to you,HE HAD TO PAY THAT OUT OF HIS POCKET AND IS QUITE PISSED BUT THINKS ITS THE COMPANY) walk into his office laughing while smoking one and tell him what ya did

 

c

call every female in the office a ****

 

D - Drop your coffee on your boss's paperwork and then send it to HIS BOSS with a letter pretending to be YOUR BOSS with mean stuff directed @ him.. Start laughing when the boss's boss comes down and started yelling at him;let em in on the secret

 

E - Ease drop on your boss's call TO HIS BOSS and then @ 3am call him at home and start bitching about what you heard.... Threaten to play the recording to all staff unless you get a hefty raise........

F

 

F - Fervently tiptoe around the office making sure everyone knows you don't want to be noticed-naked,except for a gunbelt.

G

 

G - grin maniacally through the whole of the Monday morning staff meeting while slowly unbuttoning your blouse all the way from your neck to your navel

 

H - Hand over your bossses tax returns showing blatent fraud affecting the company and then 2 days later when he is gonna give you a raise,spill the beans;carry on like a 2yo

I

 

I - Insist on playing the banjo to 'encourage togetherness' at company staff meetings

J

 

Join a scheme to defraud the company and stupidly invite your boss in on it....

K

 

Kick the boss in his ass

L