When having sex, I think about...

dudes. Don't go off at me because of my age. I can't help being 16 you know?! And, no, I don't do it every time! Jesus, I've just tried it once and I just wanted to know if other people did it, and what other people thought ABOUT FANTASIZING DURING SEX. I didn't want relationship advice, if I wanted that I'd go to the relationship forum.
And I told my fiance that I'd tried it and hes fine with it. He knows that I love him and that sex is difficult for me because of my past with abuse. He said that if it makes sex more enjoyable for me then he's fine with it because he feels guilty about getting all the pleasure.
~Moro

 

Really sounds like it, the way you wrote implys it as a common thing. And you get him to blindfold you, that makes it sound like it was multiple times. You sure "ive just tried it once" isnt a defense mechanism to try to get people to stop telling you how the feel about what youre doing?


Also, you have problems with sex due to former abuse.. yet instead of making sex an intimate thing, you get your lover to BLINDFOLD you while you pretend hes someone else.. interesting.....

 

Blah!

 

At 16 you're never gonna listen to what anyone says, and wont ever believe what other older people say because you're still 16 and you'll rebel against anyone with the slightest amount of authority, even though you think you're oh-so mature... I know, I've been 16.
I do hope your whole marriage thing works out, or else I fear you might just be setting your life up for some major problems and wishing you listened to the people with some common sense...

 

Agree with CT.

Hope you don't think that you've wasted your youth trying to live a married life at that age.....i know many people who have done just that. Why not go to college first and if you two are together by the end of it, tie the knot!

 

Just because she's engaged doesn't mean she's married yet!! (I mean, I don't know what her plans are, but now some of you are jumping the gun a little here. Some people stay engaged for years and years before actually tying the knot.)

Obviously most people are repulsed by the thought, Moro. They havn't done it and don't think it should be done. Personally, I don't think it's the right answer to your issues with sex though. I myself have had issues of abuse and now can't enjoy sex properly. I think you and I should do something thats hard to do. Talk to a professional.

I think playing games and pretending and fantasizing about other people can be great fun and an enjoyable aspect to sex. Now and then I fantasize that my bf is actually like my boss from an office, and totally get off on it. (although I don't work in an office, I just always thought that was freaky kinky) But what I don't think is okay, is to use it as a mechanism to feel good always. (I think thats what you said, that otherwise it's difficult for you to get off) In that case, I think it'll become a crutch for you, and like some people have said previously, you'll learn to be dependant on it, and truely, you'll no longer want to have sex with your fiance, but your fantasies. (wherever they lead you).

Sooo, lol, in conclusion. Fantasizing can be great fun and perfectly fine, as long as your partner knows about and is okay with, you doing it. (and vise versa, i would assume you're okay with him doing the same). But if it becomes the only way to get you off, fantasizing about other people, then it's gone to far. Because no longer is it your fiance (the man he is) who's satisfying you, but a piece of convenient meat between your legs to help your thoughts along.

 

It bothers me that you blind fold yourself so that you don't have to see your fiancee. That sounds messed up and totally unfair to him. That's my opinion and so don't bother to tell me to fuck off.

Maybe I'm weird though since I never think about anyone other than my boyfriend while having sex, although occasionally fantasizing about someone else seems alright.... but occasionally!

 

heck i do it with my bf, but we do it together like some sort of role -play hahah..... just for fun. very rarely though...i'd be worried if we both wanted to fantasize about doing other people while we were having sex together lol

 

We've done it blindfolded twice, but I've only fantasized about this other guy once.
And have you been sexually abused? There isn't any 'normal' way to react. This is my way of dealing with it, and with time, I feel that I'll be able to fully connect with my fiance.
~Moro

 

I really don't mean to sound rude or anything, but you don't know me. Yeah I'm 16, but I've been through more than your average 25 year old. I know I tend to rebel against authority but I don't think that makes me immature. I have my own ideas about thing and I trust myself. I know what love is.
Anyway, you make it sound like I'm getting married next week. We're waiting a few years yet.
~Moro

 

oh, i don't think i explained well. Obviously everything came out wrong. I don't NEED to fantasize to get off. Man, my fiance knows exactly what to do to drive me crazy.
~Moro

 

why should it bother you? and we both blindfold each other. i find it really sexy, i don't do it just to fantazise, i do it so i can communicate with my fiance purely through touch. its so erotic
~Moro

 

i think about spaghetti sometimes when i dont want to cum too soon i love my bf

 

that lovin' feelin'

 

I generally think about other things then the act of sex for the main purpose of me lasting longer and pleasing my girly. But ya, you're 16 and to me it is pretty stupid that you would even entertain the idea of getting married...let alone engaged. Fuck, when I was 16 I was still a virgin and making a long term commitment was the last thing I wanted to do or even think about. That suck's for you're partner seeing how you need to be blindfolded in order to get your jollies off thinkin of somebody else. What does you being "abused" earlier have to do with being attracted to your boyfriend? Did I come off as an asshole???

 

So, you like it as an occasional heightens the experience game sort of thing. And your fiance is well aware of what you're doing. And he totally gets you off on his own and you don't NEED it to do it, it's just a fun thing you've done once. and now you're wondering if anyone else has done it.

Sounds fine to me. (as long as everyone's happy is what I think, and as long as it's not a crutch.)

 

I hope i don't catch AIDS from posting here, I'm wearing a condom, I hope that keeps me safe from you fooking queer baits. I just wanted to say to you all stop being such gays please it offends numerous people including: Jesus, FM5K, Giant Robot ( Don't fuck with him he is like Lindlands big brother), Pat Miletich, Olive Klosov, Ole Chilli, Slaughter, J.O'B, Freddy Mercury, Borat, Roughneck, Orco, Dredd, Rufus The Stunt Bum, Chris Benoit, Axl Rose, My Main Man Slaughter, Spydermonkey, Linsinator and even Faith. So quit with the gay shit, you'll catch AIDS (if you ain't got it already) and your bound to get poo on your cocks.

 

Yes, yes, you did come off as an asshole. And why don't you find a relative to molest you at eleven years of age and then try to enjoy sex.
You can tell me how stupid I am all you want. I love my fiance and I'm not going to call off the engagement. I don't care what you were like as a 16 year old, I'M NOT YOU.
And how many times do I have to say this - my fiance has got me off plenty of times without the blindfold. We've only worn them twice, and we've had SATISFYING sex a lot more than that.
~Moro

 

Honestly, if it was me you were doing it to, I'd see it as a huge problem. I wouldnt want someone I'm physically showing love to, to be thinking about another person. I have problems with the fact that the person I love has even HAD sex (I dont know, I'm weird) .. So if she was to think about someone else whilst having sex.. then yea, it would be a problem.