Okay, I am doing something I haven't done in a long, ooh a very long time - and what is more, I am doing it in a way I would never have thought... Improvisational poetry That is, poetry I make up here and now. I was reading some work on the forums when I had this overwheming idea for a poem...the idea of shadows as black men, devoid of identity, and how shadows always follow...I began putting it into words, but found myself stuck. Does anybody have thoughts on how I could continue/ finish what I have written, so it is recognisable as poetry? A presumptious 'thanks' for helping! The Poem: Clean white boy Why is your shadow A frightening, faceless negro Who chases me through streets Always at night And by the epileptic candle I write It's thrashing flames Remind me... I know it's not much, I just ran out of steam. I really like the basis I've formed, though, and don't want to let it go. Any help at all, I must stress. Love XxX
wow, i'm a big fan of improvisational poetry. that's how i write most of my stuff. it always ends up mediocre if i set oyut to write poetry and if it doesn't come to me. Clean white boy Why is your shadow A frightening, faceless negro Who chases me through streets Always at night And by the epileptic candle I write It's thrashing flames Remind me of the piercing gleam of penicillin's white edge, whilst the charcoal board reflects my face. any good?
this is what works for me, so maybe it will help... but what I do when doing improv poetry is this: I do it in prose format first... don't worry about line breaks, structure, and all that jazz, just let it flow out. that takes the poem aspect off your mind and lets you concentrate on what it is you're saying. another good thing to help you relax is to indulge in a tasty alcoholic beverage... it's so refreshing and motivational
Hey Lozi, that is good! It's so interesting to have someone do that, you know, carry on a piece that has already been started, and see what it might inspire in others...I like Smiling Rose, thanks Did the phrase 'thrashing flames' make you think of anything in particular? I know it must seem strange the way I'm prompting people to say or add stuff to my work, but I'm so lacking in inspiration and I fear I may be atop the slippery slope that is writer's block, that I will descend into its murk and not return for months...help! And Fulmah, I have never before tried that - writing my poetry as prose first, then chopping it into something more structured. I will definately try it! I think I just need to keep my work fresh, so I don't end up stuck and struggling. And I will also try to combine my drinking and writing...all in the name of research, of course I'm actually quite impressed with some of the stuff I write when tipsy, the drunken perspective is an interesting one to write from. If peace was a scarf, I would wrap you up in it! Hannah X
Clean white boy Why is your shadow A frightening, faceless negro Who chases me through streets Always at night And by the epileptic candle I write It's thrashing flames Remind me... of the fire of life, of the flickering of life. Dear dark shadow your reach is long but you are tied to the bootlace of a clean white boy.
i just think "thrashing flames" sums up a flame perfectly, the way it flickers so angrily when you gently blow it. another image that came into my mind was when a wild horse is being restrained, and it twists and bucks and kicks.. for me the words describe all that power and rage into the flame. hope it helps
Wow. I wish I could spend a day in another poet's mind, I feel I would learn so much! And Bhaskar, you finished that poem perfectly, it was peculiar reading words I knew I had written and then suddenly being plunged into the part of the poem which you had written, it made my heart feel chilly but in a nice way Thanks, sweet people. You helped a lot Hannah X
I usually never do collective writing, but I am honored to share it with you, it is a very intimate experience to write together with someone, to tune into their ideas and let your thoughts mingle with them. Intellectual love-making at its best
Really liked the poem, don't think I can do justice to it...let's see... Clean white boy Why is your shadow A frightening, faceless negro Who chases me through streets Always at night And by the epileptic candle I write It's thrashing flames Remind me that Everyone is made of fire And struggles with The silks on my line Draw with your chalk, You kindergarten spectres, Already drawn and blank In your rows of black coffins, And pennies over your eyes ...and it needs a title...maybe "Honest Abe".
Oh oh oh! Intellectual love-making, yay Poetry is such an intimate thing, I agree. And OneUndone, where have you been? You are a mystery! And also one of my most treasured poetical influences, along with Bhaskar...how privileged I am to have you both help with my work. Love you Love me XxX
You flatter me, Hannah...I look up to you a lot. I put up your poem about cutting yourself in the bathtub on my bedroom wall. Ever considered visiting Ohio for a vacation?
Thank you! I was trying to complete a crossword before coming online, and I needed a word for 'American state, four letters' beginning in 'O'...and you've found it for me! Is there no end to your helpfulness? Although now my reputation is in tatters - lest you imagine I spend my Monday evenings in a euphoric frenzy of...word games. Thrilling. I can't say I have ever considered a visit to Ohio in particular, I went to Florida a few months back and wasn't too enthralled...so I wanted to visit some other states in a bid to expand on my view of America, and thus do the country something approaching justice I had considered Texas, since that is where my roommate originates from, and I am awaiting a trip to New York this Christmas, for a bit of festive retail indulgement *smiles* What do you have in Ohio that could interest me? Apart from your sweet self of course! And finally...you have my poem on your wall? That is amazing, how somebody with so many of their own poetical masterpieces to put up on display could want to put up one of mine! Thankyou my delicious Bhaskar!
I am afraid Ohio has little to offer by way of entertainment, it certainly cannot compete with New York city. But my little town of Athens is a lovely little place, full of history. every morning I walk across the green, and look at the grand old oak trees and think of all the people that walked under them. Robert Frost read his poetry there. Simon and Garfunkel sang there. Abbie Hoffman led protests on that green. Very near there, when Bush won the election, I led an anti-war rally in a chant for peace. It has far too many bars, most of them full of loud obnoxious music and drunk people. Not my scene. It has some lovely little coffee shops and a vibrant local music scene. The comedy group onc ampus does very good sketch and stand up, the theatre and dance people put up great shows. The mix of international students regularly have cultural events. This spring we bring home the whirling devishes! Its a town where vegans and musicians and hippies play with scientists and republicans and drunk freshmen, all watched over lovingly by the ancient oaks. I like it here. your delicious Bhaskar.
It has far too many bars, most of them full of loud obnoxious music and drunk people LOL @ bhaskar~! You just described life almost everywhere in the USA. Very cool piece Firebell. If yah finish it I hope you post the end results. well...trying to get caught up from having my puter crash and i havent really gotten off page 3 yet. Tomorrow maybe I will get caught up. (if I don't crash again!)
Bhaskar, your home sounds almost as delicious as you! My university is actually a little like you describe, it is a beautiful place and a very diverse community filled with both the intellect and the drunkenness of student academics Do you know, since I started university in September I have not knowingly met a single poet, or even anyone who would be inclined to mention poetry as an interest of theirs?! Sometimes campus is lonely because of this If I didn't have this forum as a means of venting my work, I think I might have become crazy by now! And Momchild, if I ever finish this piece I shall post...people have given me so many perspectives on those few lines I wrote, that now I don't know what direction to take it in! It's amazing how artists spin their creativity, no web of words is ever identical! Love Firebell
