I tend to get slightly depressed after masturbating?

Let me explain. Right now i'm having an inner conflict with myself; there is one girl who has been on my mind for months for complicated reasons that no-one can really work out why apart from my counsellor. Anyway for various reasons (like both me and her are in relationships) i've decided the best way to get her off my mind is to just cut all contact with her (which i have done for the past month or so)

Anyway i've been finding that when i'm masturbating to porn after say 30 minutes of finishing i'll start fantasising about this girl again and it makes me feel horrible about myself. Because i don't like having sexual feelings for anyone other than my girlfriend (yes i know this is natural human behaviour but i still feel horrible for doing so and only want to see my gf in that way)

I'm wondering is the whole masturbating the porn effectively releasing the pent up sadness and depression after the initial dopamine i mean

 

The depression you’re feeling sounds more like a result of guilt (that you’re thinking about someone other than your girlfriend). Masturbation doesn’t cause depression, but your own view of your self-worth, self-esteem, or moral behavior can. The question you need to ask yourself is why do you feel guilty? Is it because you really deep down want to be with this other girl instead of your girlfriend?

 

I dont want to be with this other girls. She is a giant red flag.

She emotionally manipulates people for starters. The only things she has over my gf is bigger boobs and seems to come across as more kinky

So nothing that really matters

 

Well there isn't anything you can do about the bigger boobs. The kinky side of things is something that you may need to discuss and perhaps should discuss as it is something that is missing within your existing relationship. You can start off with something tame and fluffy like a blind fold . Communication is a key element of all successful relationship . Non communication can lead to frustration and unhappiness . Its good to talk .

 

Its not as simple as that for me

I really struggle with communication and intimacy especially in sex. And the issue is more than my gf was a virgin before she met me. This other girl isnt

Its almost like i dont want to corrupt someone who is kinda innocent. Also because ive been having a lot of emotional problems recently at time my gf feels more like a carer not a gf which makes me loose interest and desire

 

There are ways of bringing the subject up for discussion such as for example watching a steamy movie together or visiting a website together like Lovehoney . With the latter you can start off with the lingerie and then look at the more kinkier stuff after. Adding a tickling feather to the sessions is another none threatening way of introducing BDSM.BDSM isn't all about leather clad dominatrix's with whips .That's the media perception .

 

Its not that i dont want to talk about it. Its that talking about it brings up insecurities of mine. Mainly revolving around me not being able to feel anything during sex and i actually prefer sexting over regular sex

I actually a very kinky taste

 

Yes, sometimes kinda depressed after masturbation, and it is due to guilt. Just as an alcoholic is probably depressed the morning after a night of binge drinking. The expected euphoria from an upcoming wanted orgasm easily overshadows the expected guilt.

 

Angela,
From behind your picture looks like an attractive lady. Only problem is you were born in somebody else's lifetime. Remember, I think it was in Bob Marley's song, "Don't worry,be happy".

 

Attractiveness has nothing to do with it. But yes, be happy.

 

I think it's because you'd much rather be having sex, and self-pleasure pales in comparison.