He’s gone back to his wife

True

Well that bit we don't really know and probably never will unless it arrives as a case for me to sort

That's why I am erring to WilJane's theory . In my experience people rarely get back together just like that after such a long time as if nothing has happened. Its just not real .

Unless of course they have received counselling but just not told the OP.

There are lots of Ifs and buts ( NB not BUTT )

But yes the OP must and should move on and move her life forward.

 

One thing is for certain is that we are quite a caring bunch of people on here , well most of us

I think we all want to see the OP move on to better things .

 

The worst situation is when you see it happening to a friend, but don't want to say too much and risk spoiling things in case you are wrong.

I see the OP on this thread as the blameless victim. I did not post what I did to ridicule her, but if parts of my hypothesis turn out to be true, it will give her some closure and remove any feelings of guilt that she may still have.

It is always easy to be wise after the event.

 

Yes.

Where I disagree is perhaps on a professional level is that affairs and technically this is what this is perhaps in the most loosest sense but nervertheless it is an affair and it always takes 2 to Tango . The fact that the guy is married signifies that this is an affair. So she went into this relationship knowing of this. Stats will always tell you that the relationship ie affair rarely last longer than 6 months . If I was the OP I would have wanted assurances of his intentions and some sort of proof that he wanted a divorce before falling head over heels . But as they say hindsight is a wonderful thing and love is blind .

 

I echo the advice of morrow. I'd also block him, and take him off any social media where you might be connected. He will be back, because he figures if he used you once, he can come back and use you again. I'd block any avenues where he could reach you again, so that you can heal.

Thing is, he doesn't care about you or his wife. It's easy to be blinded by love though, we have all fallen for the wrong person a time or two. (er, three?)

Take care of yourself, maybe take up yoga, meditation, pray if you are into that. Just look after yourself, now. (hug)

 

True in many cases. The likelihood of cheating again is quite high especially if no counselling has been given or asked for .

I agree the OP needs to take strong steps in blocking him out otherwise if or rather when he comes running she may be tempted to take the easy option but not the best option in this case. Then she will be hurt again .

 

Exactly, I agree.

 

@wilsjane too
I’m the real deal

 

I’m still feeling really down about this, ten days on, no contact, nothing. I’m trying to make myself come to terms with the fact that maybe I’m better off out of the situation...
I’m not aware if they’re actually back together or not, all I know is he said he wanted to try and forgive her.

 

I am also thinking that if they are back together, I bet she’s oblivious to that fact that I even exist! Which annoys me too

 

You should probably just go the psycho route and take out her headlights with a baseball bat while they're both there.

 

You really need to let this/him go - or accept the consequences - that it will be, and remain a blight on your life - for as long as you allow it to be

 

I think that’s easier said than done sometimes

 

Rebound Romances are tricky - for sometimes they backfire - but just because you go shopping you don't have to buy the goods (or indeed, give them away)
You are no longer a 'we', you are a 'me' - I would suggest you focus not on what was, but more on what is and what may be the way with a fresh impetus - nothing serious, just compatible interaction - enjoy the thing that used to call 'dating', and not an immediate desire for security of longevity.

 

Did you spot #37 on this thread. LOL.

 

I appreciate its hard but you really need to move on . Otherwise you are just going to keep beating yourself up about it .

 

Absolutely spot on advice!