Has #metoo and dating apps ruined love culture?

If you're a dude and you're afraid of a woman accusing you of sexual harassment because you talk to her, then you may want to change your behaviour.

 

Yeah.
Like, reading what Boozer said about being afraid to kiss a woman?
If there's a mutual attraction there then there's going to be some mutual consent and mutual invitation. You lock eyes, you feel sparks, you both lean closer, you kiss. Bam. Both parties leave happy.
I've had guys try to land kisses on me completely out of the blue before when I wasnt expecting it, and it's really unpleasant.
If one does not feel the mutual invitation and the mutual lean in, then one should think twice about going in for a kiss

 

she got you with the pepper spray?

 

Any man that is decent of heart should never be afraid to speak to anyone, man or woman. I'm certainly not, but then I come from a couple of generations ago. Then again , Ted Bundy was a slick, murderous sonuvabitch--sooooo---I suppose women in particular must take extra--extra precautions and can still face unexpected complications.

 

I think that these dating sites are part of the cause of the problem.
While in the past, women expected men to approach them. In these times it seems as if only desperate perverts engage in such activity.

When one of the girls who Jane worked with was approached by a perfectly decent guy in the office who was clearly wanted to get to know her and was using work matters as a way of having the odd chat, she suddenly blurted out in a loud voice "go online next time you are feeling horny". Jane could not believe what she was hearing.

Sure, go online, find a girl who has a totally false of exaggerated profile, then look at the equally fake pictures that she has posted of her in underwear.
The perfect way to find a long term partner.

Every successful relationship that I know of has a work connection, sometimes just the girl working in the local shop who they got chatting to. But, importantly, they were seeing each other in their true colors.

 

Yes, certainly. It's a different ballgame now.

Gone are the days when a guy can make innuendos to test a gal's reception. Gone are the days of asking if they're interested in messing around. Too risky. Guys have to be so delicate and careful lest they be accused of nefarious intent. Irritate the wrong gal at the wrong time, one call to the police and the guy's detained. Maybe charged. Gals need to know that they must make the first moves these days. Guys can say hi and make small talk but if the gal wants to get physical the suggestion must come from her. No longer can she simply bat her eyes, make moves so he can see down/up her dress, etc, and expect him to come on. Guys just see that as a potential trap. She's gotta be the overt one now when she wants something to happen. That's what the gals wanted who started all this and now they've got what they asked for. Collectively. It's an unnatural role reversal and we let it happen collectively so we gotta recognize it or suffer.

 

Innuendos and messing around have a time and place. Not upon first approaching someone.

 

even good people should be cautious when talking to the police.

 

Sound like something somebody relatively new to the world would say. You'd be quite shocked at how things were in the 60s-70s.

 

I had no worldly idea how beautiful she would be. I'm actually confounded. I don't know why she agreed to meet me.

 

That's just it. A lot of guys are really socially awkward and haven't figured out how to change their behavior. I was that way once many years ago, before I made the necessary mistakes, put in the effort, and got better experienced at my outer and inner game. Some guys never learn, and are forever alone. Societal pressures aren't helping them out either. Remember the Gilette commercial where the guy tried to approach a woman, and some guy stood in is way and said "Whoa, not cool, not cool." My friend who's a relationship guidance councilor will agree. She tells me that most of her single clients are shy men, and career women who's fertility clocks are ticking.

 

lol

 

I think that the fact that you think of it as a game is part of the problem.

 

I once went on a dating site but got disgusted with it. Its usually women who approach me but there is no bridge of connection. Not sure whether they are looking for a friend or relationship. There were a few potential female friends that i've opened myself up to but its doesn't end well. If you give people something they don't understand its usually not received well. It can be frustrating when you want to open up but can't. Its like i feel i have to keep everything suppressed and bottled up.

I think its best to meet people in a work environment or online forum. You get a better sense of a person's persona. There is one woman i have an eye on, on another forum. I don't even know what she looks like so who knows. But her situation is parallel to mine. Though the qualities i find most appealing in her are the same qualities she despises in herself. There is no connection at this point nor any desire to make one. But if i get the impression that she is becoming fed up with it all or losing it then maybe that will be that bridge for a connection. A perhaps i'll take that as an invite.

 

You're better off trying to connect with someone on a hook up site tbh, at least if you match together there your sexual chemistry has a chance and you can bridge off that haha.

 

The point of developing a bridge of connection is to eventually jump off it together. But a good fuck before so is actually a good idea.

 

I used to be on plenty of fish. If you live in a rural area all you got is either barflies or religious nuts. So the apps work good to reach beyond that.

 

Tell me about it Trudgin’!
Most of my working life I worked in factories and I was a quality control manager.
Most of the workforce were Women and I can tell you this.
In those days Women were worse than Men in sexual innuendo and banter, and one could have a right laugh with them.
I remember one day I was on my knees checking out some electrical equipment.
Three of the Women aged in their twenties came over to me with silly grins on their faces, pulled their mini skirts up even a bit further and one said..
And I quote...

‘Hey Boss, do you think you could do us a favour while your down on your knees’!

I said back:

‘Fuckin’ hell girls, I will think hard about that and get back to you later’!

We all laughed and they got back on with their jobs.
All good fun as far as I was concerned.
I bet nothing like that goes on anywhere now because sexual innuendo has more or less been banned everywhere.
Sense of humour is no more.
Sad to say!