Question for married men

Do you feel that meeting guys behind your wife's back is being unfaithful in the same way as if you were to meet women? I used to justify meeting guys for sex as being purely about sex and not involving any emotionsas well as being something that my wife simply can't give me, and so it didn't feel like cheating as much, but I've come around to thinking it's not really a solid argument (and so I've stopped meeting men). I wouldn't feel as betrayed if my wife had sex with woman as with a man, then again I'm a bit of a cuckold so wouldn't mind if my wife had sex with another guy either. How do other bi men feel about this issue?

 

Be open about it. Since my wife if the one who came up with idea, it's all cool. I gave my wife the ok,not that she needs my permission, if she ever wanted to try things with another woman. It is totally different than cheating. She always felt that it would be more emotional, than sexual, if we did it with the opposite sex. My wife hooked me up with her/our gay male friend and it has worked out to our mutual satisfaction. The best thing is that she really enjoys watching us do it.

 

For 20 of the 25 years I was married to my first wife I was mutually sucking cock with guys and at the time didn't consider it cheating. I see things different today. I re-married to a woman who has embraced that I am bisexual, we have lovers and she joins in most of the time. She thinks two guys sucking each other off is totally hot. She loves watching us have oral sex, especially when Tom eventually drives his 9 1/2" cock balls deep inside my ass while I'm on top of her 69ing...she gets a birds eye view of his cock pounding my ass while sucking my cock.

 

Yes, it is cheating. My wedding vows (both of them) included the phrase "forsaking all others." I did not discover my bisexuality until after Wife #1 and with Wife #2 I curtailed my M2M activities. I was tempted but, unlike her, kept my vows. So you need to work that out with your wife.

 

I'm still wrestling with it. Wife found out a while back and l think she has suspected for a while and I begged forgiveness with a promise that I'd put it back in the closet. It's tough when she goes on girlfriend trips every so often because the temptation is really strong. I can send out a text and one of FBs is there. I think if l were having sex it would be so much less of a temptation. We've been married for 33 years. Don't judge me.

 

I think you'll find that most of us here would never judge you as we've all struggled and stumbled along the way.

 

Thanks that's why I'm here. This is a great forum. Just as good and better than ShyBiGuys was till it folded a couple of years ago. I've felt very welcome here and have begun to make friends and settle in. One thing that I've also noticed, and it's a good thing, is I haven't run into any trolls. At least not yet. The moderators seem to really have a handle on content and the all around content is fantastic. I feel I've found a good home here.

 

It's difficult because it's one side of my personality that my wife couldn't fulfill no matter what she did, whereas if I were to cheat with a woman it would imply that I wasn't satisfied with my wife as a woman. It would be the same if I were in a relationship with a guy, no matter which way I turn there would be part of me that would not be fulfilled. If my wife were open to it I would happily have an open relationship but I think she would lose her attraction to me if she knew I was bisexual. So for now I'm just trying to suppress it. It's definitely true that the less sex we have the more this becomes a preoccupation.

 

Honestly it’s a struggle. I had a guy I met with occasionally, both of us married. On one end It was nice to get some relief with someone who has some enthusiasm towards sex. We both understood each other’s dilemma. Eventually I got to where I couldn’t handle the guilt. That’s been over a year and a half ago. The guilt has gone away but the ever present desire to please and get pleased by another man hasn’t.

 

I am lucky enough that my wife embraced my past experiences and it even turns her on . The problem now is finding another guy to hang out with and watch some porn and ay with my wife encourages it and wants to watch when and if it starts happening again which is even a bigger turn

 

I still want to have that coffee with you. If nothing else just to talk and see where it goes. To have someone to talk to that knows and your comfortable with is great. So l haven't forgotten. I've been in and out of town lately a lot. So if you're patient hopefully we came make that happen soon. I'll email you. We are in the same place in our lives as far as our sex life. Thanks for your insight.

 

Sorry marriedman50. Didn't mean to hijack post. I totally agree with you.

 

No worries. Just having someone in the same situation to chat with helps a lot..

 

coffee and conversation sounds great. Shoot me an email when you are back in town. I agree, someone to talk to and gain a understanding would be a good thing.

 

My wife supports me and finds my bi side very hot..i had experience in my youth and told her shortly after we got together..it didn't bother her at all but we weren't in the right spot..6yrs ago we opened our marriage and she brought it up and suggested I explore it,so I started

 

It's a wonder situation for us. I too opened up to my wife 7 years ago when we met and she's accepted it from day one. She thinks it's hot that her man has enjoyable sex with both men and women.

 

Ok I'm envious as hell of guys like you. LOL I wish it were that way in my marriage.

 

Lowhangers it is a great thing being able to be open with her and enjoy it without hiding it

 

I am an honest guy, openly bi, happily married, no secrets.
Basically a boy scout. I even strive to be an ethical slut.

I avoid fast NSA, anonymous hookups, etc.
So, I just avoid guys who are cheating, secretive, deeply closeted, etc.
I don’t need their karma. There are other honest guys out there, I meet them instead.

 

I’ve kept the two life’s separate my whole life having hooked up with 2 guys over course of 5 years then met my wife after 15 years and a divorce I had gay sex and lots of it with lots of people (I’m not proud and was out of control ) after I stopped I started dating women and have been with the same girl for 7 years now but I still think about sex with men but I don’t think I could cross that line and I know She would leave me if I even breached the subject