Well guys my wife wants a divorce and now I see my chance to finally do what I’ve had fantasies about. Being a bottom to a man. In the past I talked to guys on Craigslist and grinder to meet up but always chickened out. Someone on this site mentioned Doublelist and I’ve joined. Have been talking to someone who is in to big guys and would love to meet up with me this weekend. My still wife is going to her girlfriends house for about a week leaving today. Here’s my dilemma, I still love my wife and want to try and win her Heart back. We agreed to sell the house before we divorce. We both agree that now’s not the best time to sell. So I see this time to try and see if we can reconcile. If I meet this guy and we have sex then me and my wife down the road decide to stay married that’s my dilemma. Should I just go for it and stop denying myself. Our wait to see first if the marriage is salvageable?
I'm sorry to hear the news of your possible divorce. I can relate as I too was asked for a divorce back in 2011 after 25 years of marriage. It's something I myself wouldn't wish on anyone. During my time I too wanted to stay with my wife and refrained from hooking up with other men for a couple months while trying to win her back. However, there is one thing you need to understand. It's very, very difficult to change a woman's mind once she has made a decision. Best of luck during your difficult time.
I usually strongly encourage people to try new things sexually. But I respect a marriage more. If you value your wife and your commitment with each other, do what you can to save your marriage. I understand sometimes, even with the best intentions and the biggest effort, things are just not meant to work out. If it really comes down to that, walk away and then do your thing, or in your case do the guy you met through Doublelist lol.
I can identify with your situation. My wife of 16 years announced she wanted a divorce. I wasn't messing around but she was. Even with that, I did everything I could to save our marriage, all to no avail. As Low Hangers said, once a woman has made up her mind it is nearly impossible to change it. Good luck and keep an eye on your bank and credit accounts.
Well guys I’ve decided to throw in the towel on trying to save my marriage. My wife’s mind is set in stone and I don’t blame her. I’am a messed up person and must get myself together before ever being in a relationship again. My other problem is that I’ve been dealing with my sexuality for the last couple of years. From around jr high people quietly would say I was gay. Maybe because I was very shy and quiet, meek. I’ve only had one relationship besides my wife. I love woman but as of recently thinking about having sex with a man. Preferably being a bottom. From a young age I enjoyed ass play and want to try the real thing with a man. I have plans to met up with a guy I have been talking to on doublelist today and since I not fighting to save my marriage why not and meet up. But I’am not ready to go there yet. As much as I fantasize about it. I’am afraid to go threw with it. Help with any advice thanks
If it's over it's over, but don't be so hard on yourself. It takes two. Get the financials, custody, etc. taken care of and take some time to heal. When you're ready to move on go for it!
Divorce can be brutal ,sorry your going through this at this time .For me personally divorce was the impetus into my second foray into sex with men .It had been close to 20 years since I had last had sex with a man .After my divorce within a month and a half I was back to sex with men.It lasted a couple years and the hedonistic pleasure I got out of it and the connection helped me tremendously through the difficult times .
Sorry that you are going through this. I think it's best to wait it out since right now your relationship is very very delicate. She can use it against you if she found out before the divorce. For every action is a reaction.
Well guys my marriage is done. My wife doesn’t want to reconcile. I didn’t tell you guys. The day before she said she wanted a divorce. I caught her on the phone talking about sexual matters with someone. I had asked her was that person the reason she wanted a divorce, to be with them. She assured me they were only flirting on the phone. What I heard wasn’t flirting. Also yesterday while getting ready for work. I was near her work station(she’s been working from home) and I want threw some of her work notes. A little from the top was a piece of paper with some work stuff X’ed out and on the other side was a list that went like this. Thursday Lunch Razor Condoms Vodka/Pineapple juice Favorite T-shirt. She was supposedly at her girlfriends house from the Memorial Day weekend. We haven’t had sex in over a month and never used condoms. So it’s over. We both said we would stay in the house and sell when the market was better but I don’t know if I can after I found that note. I haven’t said anything about the note other either.
Divorce is brutal almost always and especially with children and money involved .I wish you well in your healing journey.I would imagine a difficult process (moving on ) would be delayed and much more painful if in fact you had to live in the same house as your so to be ex wife.As far as the gay sex I say go for it if you like it you’ve discovered something to add your life if it’s not your thing no harm no foul at least you tried .Just be sure to be safe and honestly I don’t see why you would regret tapping into your curiosity.As far as being a bottom your going to want to prepare yourself and ease your way into it so it will be an enjoyable experience.If u don’t mind I would suggest buying a prostate massager or a dildo to get your ass used to having something up in there .Use plenty of lube and within a short period of time you’ll be ready for the real thing.I have zero regrets about my same sex adventures or guilt it was some of the best experiences of my life and the sex can be mind blowing when with the right person and in the right state physically and mentally.Strictly a bottom with men here
I'm sorry to hear this John because I know how you are feeling and what you are going through. My first wife of 25 years wanted a divorce and it through me for a loop being we had just celebrated our 25th Anniversary the month before. It was a blow to my ego when she said "The sex isn't that great anymore"...I replied compared to what or who?...She just smirked, so I knew she'd been with someone else. We had a lot of discussions to reconcile over the next month but I found out that once a woman set's her mind on something it's all but impossible to change it so the divorce was happening. We too agreed to stay in the home with our two adult children (18 & 21) until it was paid off (20 yr. mortgage) to sell which was only three months away. I couldn't take it, was a bad idea to stay in the home together as she cut all communications off, staying out late, demanding I do not ask where she is, going, or who she is with. I had to force her out. We agreed to a civil agreeable divorce but her greed and involving the children (which really pissed me off, it had nothing to do with them as they were adults themselves) caused things to become verbally hostile. I helped her locate an apartment within her budget as I decided to keep the house and just pay her equity to rid myself of her. Divorce is never easy and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy if I had any. Good Luck, keep your head up and get through it the best you can. If it make you feel any better, I found out I was so much better off without her and now 8 years later I've remarried 6 years ago to a woman who truly know how to love. The biggest thing I learned was I was a "giver" and my ex was a "taker"....really not a good mix and surprised we lasted 25 years but I truly loved that woman with all my heart and soul despite that. Anyway, me and my present wife are both "givers" and LIFE IS SOOO GOOD!
Sorry about your situation. I wasn't married but had been living with my GF for about 3 years. She had no idea that I had a regular suck buddy back in the day. One day she got Nosey and found an old book I had about the sexual exploits of a married bi man. Even though our sex life was incredible, she accused me of being gay. She went ballistic! I hadn't been with a man in almost 10 years, but we went downhill from there, but we were still having sex. Go figure! She ended up having an affair with a divorced bi female friend of hers. She ended up moving out and in with this bi friend. Fortunately we weren't married and it didn't cost me much. When my ex wife wanted a divorce there was no changing her mind.......and I was relieved. Couldn't wait to write a sizable check and have her gone. No kids thank goodness. The evening before the court appearance she wanted to have dinner........for old times sake. I ended up fucking her......twice. During our appearance I had a sly grin, knowing there was two loads of cum in her. Haven't seen her since. Now my wife of 20+ years has gone sexless, which has me wanting cock more than ever. So difficult to find the right guy and situation. Hope the OP has better luck.
