ok, im 15 and my boyfreind and i have been goin out for 5 months...just today he told me he still hasn;t figured me out..that really made me depressed becuase i havent even figured myself out yet..like one day i will aprove of him smoking pot and the next i wont, (he does everyday,)and i always worry about something...like at the begenning of our relastionship it was i was wooried he'd cheat on me..(and he knew i thought that) and i know totally trust him, but a while ago my worry was that he'd leave me for pot....now im just worried he smokes too much and he will never understand why it makes me sad he does that all the time ..(even though i sometimes do that) is that being a hypoccrite???i really am desprite to find who i am,...i beleive im kind hearted and stand up for my rights...but then again i dont know who i really am...does anyone know what i mean???please help..im sooooooo confused
As long as you can justify your feelings, you can be contradictory all the time, really. It's not a great thing to do, so once you realise you're doing it then accept you're not sure exactly how you feel about an issue.. Even if one day you're 100% sure you feel a certain way, argue with yourself and realise you still have reservations, its ok to say "I don't know exactly how I feel". Maybe, because you're feeling a bit insecure, you can't decide on things (like your boyfriends pot habits) because you're far too influenced by other peoples opinions? Whenever you look at something and wonder how you really feel about it, just look at how it would make you feel.. for instance your boyfriends smoking, if I was in your position I would feel about the same, so I'd ask myself why I didn't like it, I didn't likeit because he might value it more than m, or I'm scared I'll get into the habit, or the way he acts when he's stoned.. But I still might feel ok about it because he isn't obsessed with it, or he doesn't act like a different person when on it etc etc. As long as you can justify your feelings then you'll be great You don't have to have a definite opinion on anything!
want to know whats wrong? well the all mighty jedi can help u , using the force at hand! Probably "your emotional needs were not met when you were growing up and there was nothing you could do about it. Even today, you tend not to express anger or pain or resentment except when you are in an infrequent rage. This is a problem in close relationships" thank you
You're only 15.... I doubt very many 15 year olds really know who they are or what they want from a significant other. Hell, most 40 year olds don't know yet. It's not like there's any easy answer to "who you are". Sad but true.
well, my real mom died when i was 3, and i remeber pretending to die when i was playing with my friends when i was 4 and 5 so someone could stop playing tag and come to me(yes...very wierd.) well, it didn;t work ...i jsut reemberd...i donno...thanks though ..
hey..its so weird i figured myself out now....its crazy ...or at least who i was....it took my boyfreind and i to break up to figure it out...i love him so much, we didnt break up cause of what i wrote up there..(personal home issues) im ready to go back out with him( i was never ready to break up) but now i realized what kind of person i was..everyday we've been appart feels like im another year older...hopefully he will take me back into his arms cause just acting like "normal friends" is so fake..i cant do it, yesterday he told me hes still iin love with me...i donno,,,what do ya'll think?
i was surprised when i read your original post, it sounds so much like me. my bf and i have been going out for a lil over 6 months, and i never smoke pot and dont want to but he does occasionally. he always tells me, and sometimes it doesnt matter but most of the time i cant stop thinking about it and wish he would stop. but anyway, sometimes i feel like i know who i am, sometimes i dont, i hope whatever happens with you two works out great, yeah, i guess thats all i wanted to say
well, here's my 2 cents. first, I don't know who I am yet. At 15, that's the magic of it, because you can be anyone you want until you find what fits you! Think of it as dress up or something. You can shape your future and attitude now! I'm sorry you broke up with your boyfriend. I doubt that's going to tell you who you are though. Only you can do that. Not the events in your life. As for the pot smoking, I may get a lot of disagreement here, but as a smoker myself, I feel the need to state this. Pot isn't going to change your behavior so much that he cheats on you while high or does something crazy. Most people sit around, talk about dumb shit, and eat. You never get so high that you don't remember anything, you can control yourself. Now cheating on you WITH pot is different. My man and I disagree sometimes because he wants to spend more money than he should on pot and we fight. Sometimes he picks the pot over me until I point that out and he backs down. No one wants to look at themselves and see a drug addict. Maybe if you hook up again or if your next man smokes pot, you could ask why they use it and how often and try to be understanding. You can't control things like that with people. It tends to make them rebel and push you away. Or if it bothers you that much date a non-smoker. Anyway, please take your time to figure yourself out. YOu don't have to know now or next year or the year after that. Good luck!
i know your young but i met my first husband when I was 15 (we didnt get married at 15, we dated on and off thruschool), but i think the main reason we didnt work out is because he cared more about smoking pot and partying then he did about me and his kids........ it may just be a phase with your man, who knows, just make sure pot isnt the only thing he cares about!
