I posted this in the music forum...

...but BeckNudeFck decided to bring her attitude and her B.O. stench with her, and make the thread suck. So I'll post it in here.

Heavy Metal: Nature's Method of Equal Opportunity for the Mentally Handicapped​

Some time in the 1970s, half-ape-half-retards decided they could play a few power chords and get blow jobs. At this time, God must have been asleep or on a coke binge with the cast of Saturday Night Live because it worked. And the soul of everyone who likes music has never quite healed.

I do not remember metal's immediate impact on society, as I was nowhere near born at the time, but I can feel in my gut a rumbling similar to a double-pedal bass that I am glad I was nowhere near born at the time. Imagine the time: Hippies were becoming commercialized (the worst thing to happen to hippies since their creation), disco was everywhere (KISS even did a disco song, which leaves many wondering if it was an improvement), and the Vietnam War was going on in southeast Asia (which, in retrospect, certainly beats being underwater). However, a savior was soon to appear in the late 1970s. This savior, this powerful genre of music created by gods and played by gods, was about to change the world forever.

Unfortunately, the punk scene sold out.

And in the absence of punk, metal was allowed to thrive and stifle the music industry with its philosophy of, "We're just like other bands, only we play our instruments MORE HARDER!" Does it make sense? No. But then again, angry asstards don't care. All they want is an anthem for stealing their parents' exotic sports car and throwing alcohol into their neighbors' pools because their life in upper class suburbia sucks. "I swear, if my parents take my fucking cigarettes away from me one more fucking time, I'm going to slam my fucking door and blast Judas Priest really fucking loud, because I'm REALLY FUCKING HARDCORE! Hey, Steve, can you pass the Cheese-Nips? Thanks, man," was often heard at teenage parties in the 1980s, because quite obviously, freedom of expression sucks.

And now, it is 2005, and we are suffering from an epidemic that is known as nu-metal, which is quite possibly the child of Lucifer and Sharon Osbourne. We are stuck with bands like Insane Clown Posse, Tool, Slipknot, Mudvayne, and other groups of people that should have been left in a frozen dumpster upon birth.

I wish I could conclude this shitty rant on a good note, so you could think, "Wow, his shitty rant wasn't half bad." But I can't. For as long as most species of ape are on the endangered list, it will always be very illegal to kill metal musicians and their fans.

 

ooh like i wouldnt see it here. im not even gonna talk to you your like a fucking 5 year old.

 

Goddammit. Now this thread sucks, too.

 

I posted this in the mu...02-15-2005 08:54 PMyour an asshole

And you're a fucking pussy. Jesus, Becknudefck, at least leave your name.

 

Are you serious? Did you just talk shit on TooL? Dude, you must be fucking deaf.

 

it sucked the first time it was posted.....

 

what the fuck man i didnt take away from your reputation. The only problem you have is your stupidity, and im not gonna take rep points away for that.

 

I would retort, but you have Prince in your sig.

Fucking Prince.

 

What's wrong with prince?

 

I remember a time when you talked about killing yourself.

Why'd you stop?

 

I just read the thread over in the music forum, and decided that while I still stand by my comment that TooL is one of the most talented bands ever, I will withdraw myself from the conversation in order to prevent myself from being sucked into an argument I'm not prepared to enter.

 

Im gonna stick with my sig. DIMEBAG, and before that, ZAKK WYLDE. oh yea. and even before that, DAVE MUSTAINE, smoking a blunt...

 

And I'm going to stick with the certainty that you still suck at life.

 

And you must be fucking illiterate. Yes, I "talked shit on TooL." Fucking deal with it, pussy.

 

Eliot...

i would agree with you on EVERYTHING... everything until you called tool metal and arrr... haha, nevermind.

 

'Bout time I get some back-up. I'm too tired to be creative or funny with my insults tonight.

 

hmm, i didnt read that before my last post but at least im not the only one.

someone who worships or worshipED nirvana can diss tool.. a band that has SOOO much true talent. arrr

 

Fucking illeterate? Where the hell would you pull that from?

 

its not creative or funny when your insults dont insult people. try a little harder next time..

 

^