My boyfriend died sometime last night or early this morning. He was upset because situations out of our control were keeping us apart on Valentines Day. He started drinking, and never stopped. Our friend Chad found him, but by then it was too late. He had gone into a coma. He had a lot of issues to deal with, but he was doing so much better. He had started going to AA meetings. He told me he wanted to change, to start over. Now it's too late. I can't find anything to help me get used to this. For the first time in my life, I have nothing to fall back on. Every song I hear makes me think of him. Every place i go, I'm reminded of something. The only thing I have left is to write, to let people know what happened. Mostly I'm worried about his family. We'll never know if Kyle know what he was doing, if he left us on purpose. The fact that maybe that's exactly what he was doing is so painful. I can't stop thinking about his family. His mom has already lost one little girl to cancer, now Kyle is gone too. And his little sister is sick, maybe with lukemia too. As much as I am hurting right now, I know that it is nothing compared to what his poor mother is feeling. So please, pray, send vibes, whatever it is you do, for him and his family and friends. Knowing that there are people out there who are thinking of us will make this so much easier. Kyle was a beautiful person. He had a spirit that was amazing. He had a way of making people smile. He never let me have a bad day, he always made me see the good in everything that happened. He showed me how to love, how to believe in the good of people, of the world. He gave me the courage to be true to myself. He gave me the strength to get past my dark times and step into the light. I am who I am today becuase of him. He made me believe in love, in peace, and in unity. If for no other reason, I must continue to believe in those things for him. I know that he would want me to work for peace and love. I can only hope that someday his dream will come true. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for being a place I can go to find comfort. And please, never forget to live each day to the fullest, to love the deepest, to stay strong and relish every moment with your loved ones. You never know when it will be gone.
oh hun... Im soo sorry... I wish I could say something to make it better or change the situation but I cant... I will send you good vibes and keep you, him and his family in my thoughts... Hang in there.
I'm so sorry. This is one of the hardest things to go through. YOu have my love and you are in my thoughts and prayers, as well as his family and friends. I know you don't want to hear it, but life is ok and death is ok. He is happier now and eventually the hurt in your heart will fade. It will take a long time, but time heals all.
Nothing I can possibly say will seem enough: (((((((HUGS!!!))))))) Thats the best I can do, I'm so sorry. Sebbi
Dear Sister, I have just read your message and my heart is broken by your pain. I would like to help you, to change this situation but it is impossible. I want to send you and your boyfriend's mother all the best vibrations I can. It is hard and very painful to only imagine what you must feel. I have a girlfriend I really love and if she died.......no I don't even want to think about it. I would like to finish this answer by telling you you are very courageous to talk about it. I can feel the love you have for this love you lost and I feel really moved. The things you say about him are very beautiful and even if he's gone, I think he will live forever in your heart. I send you all my love, all my good vibrations, ... Pollux
Brothers and Sisters, Thanks everyone! These past 3 days have been really difficult, but reading all the kind things you have said has made it a little less painful. Thank you so much for praying/vibing for ky's family... it means a lot. I just keep telling myself to stay strong, because I know that's what he'd want. And when I feel like I have nothing to live for anymore, I remind myself that I have the most amazing thing to live for now- I have Kyle to live for. Many I just want people to know what happened, because chances are you all know someone who is close to the same end as Kyle. Perhaps they aren't an alcoholic yet, or maybe it's something else, like drugs. Regardless, I encourage you to let them know you are there for them and help them seek help. ANd even if you dont have a loved one in that sitation (and you are truly blessed if you dont) make sure to let your parents, friends, teachers, all the people who mean something to you, how much you appreciate them. Because you never know when it will be too late. One of Kyle's best friends called me yesterday in tears because the last thing she said to him was "God damnit kyle grow up!" It's just another reason to be kind and loving to everyone, even when you'r mad... you may not get to say you're sorry.
Hey Freebird 10787, We were overwhelmed to go through your letter..and we are pleased that you are sharing these sad moments with others..to go through such turmoil at such a tender age..is not very easy..yet we find you very mature in accepting facts of life and advising others to realise the consequences before it's too late..We are sure that your sharing with others is helping others around as well..Our special prayers for your courage and his mother and family will be there to boost up your morals,wishing you our very best.. from old tiger+Ruby(Belgium-Europe)
Hey Freebird, A pity that no postings appear on the worst day of your life.. what's next for you,Freebird? I know that you will always see Kyle in everything.. a second Kyle DOES not exist.. so carry him with you wherever you are.. an old hippie from faraway Belgium(Europe) P.S.If you ever decide to travel to Belgium.. welcome in our place.. old tiger
all the love i have is being given to you right now...i admire you for being so strong...just keep at it and you will find happiness and peace loads of love baby xxx
Thank you so much everyone! I just thought I'd say.. it's been a week. you're kindness and love has taken the edge off of this pain for me. i told kyles mom about this, and tears welled up in her eyes. she is so touched by all of you. the funeral was wednesday. it was pretty tough, but it was comforting to see all the people kyle loved there, and some that he had fallen out with. keep spreading the message of love peace and unity my brothers and sisters!
you are so strong.... beyond believable. I read your posts and tears welled in my eyes. it is so hard to lose loved ones. I send love and good vibes your way!! Stay positive always peace love<3 and kindness~wildchild
Hey Freebird, How is everything with you now?? Have not heard from you for a while on this forum.. I remember your touching words..can't forget them.. Any hippie who calls him or herself that name... can't be indifferent to this loss of your friend... May the Force be with you,Freebird.. Emiel(old tiger) Belgium
